Crazy Jay Blue

My Life as a Monty Python Skit

2007-12-03T20:51:00.000-05:00

This past weekend, while my parents were in Atlanta, I agreed to babysit their dog Kali. We’ve done this before; she’s good friends with our dog Luna and the girls love her. She’s an Australian Shepherd, just over a year old and full of energy. Also she pees 96 times a day. Our yard is not fenced, but the dogs know the boundaries and they don’t go into the neighbors’ yards or the street, so I just let them out the front door when they need to go and (when it’s cold) watch them from the door.

Friday night, I let them out around 11 pm and they went running off together, playing, and disappeared around the side of the house. After a minute or so, I started calling and I had to call them a few times before they both came tearing back towards into the front yard, Kali rubbing her face and body on the ground and rolling around. Then the smell hit me. It smelled like they’d unearthed a vat of toxic chemicals. My first thought was skunk, but I’ve never smelled skunk like that…it smelled like skunk, if the skunk was on fire. It was so strong I could taste it. I got the dogs in and the unholy stink filled the house. Skunk, I was sure of it then. Great. It’s 11 pm and I’m just in no position to deal with this. I threw them out on the screen porch, threw baby powder all over them (Don’t ask why; I thought maybe the powder would absorb the skunk oil) until I could figure out what to do with them. I would have left them there all night, but it was a cold night and supposed to get colder. I lit three candles and some incense, went into my bedroom and turned on a movie, trying to get the skunk taste out of my mouth. We decided we’d come up with a way to barricade the dogs in the kitchen for the night until I could go buy a truckload of tomato juice the next morning and deal with it. We knew the house would stink, but we couldn’t figure out any other option.

Half an hour into Fay Grimm, I hear a cry from the girls’ bedroom. We stop the movie and run in there. Ariela, who likes to sleep with her sister in the top bunk sometimes and chose to do so this evening, has sat up in bed, leaned over the top railing and was vomiting what seemed like gallons of vomit onto the floor. From 6 feet up in the air, she effectively repainted the entire room in vomit. I handed her a bucket (too late) and we got to work cleaning up the room to the best of our ability. We did the best we could, put down about a box of baking soda and some towels on the floor for the night, moved Dvorah into the guest room and went to barricade the kitchen.

Now it’s midnight, so I figure I’ll put the dogs out one last time before bed, hoping they’d maybe rub off a little more stink before coming into the house. Luna went out, did her thing and came in. Kali went out and when I called her in…I guess she could tell I was pretty unhappy, so she wouldn’t come into the house. Now I’m really unhappy, because it’s freezing cold outside, I’m in my nightclothes and bare feet and the damn dog won’t come in the house. Dvorah is still up now, and more dressed than me, so I made her get a coat on and she put on my shoes and went out to chase the dog around the yard, with me calling for the dog and pretending to be happy, so she won’t be too scared to come in. Finally we get the dog in (I’m furious now), barricade the two of them in the kitchen and go to bed. I’m awake every half hour, tasting skunk. I said to Stuart “My mouth hurts; I’m not really sure it’s skunk. I think we’ve been poisoned.” He laughed at me and told me to go back to sleep.

Next morning I wake up to Dvorah yelling “Daddy, Luna is throwing up!”

I think: Where do I find the next train to nowhere?

I discover online that tomato juice does not work on dogs, and find a mixture that supposedly does. I run out to buy a vat of hydrogen peroxide and baking soda. Come home, get Kali in the tub and discover that, not only does she really not like being in the tub, she’s terrified of running water and keeps trying to jump out of the tub, so I have to have one hand on her at all times, just to keep her there. I mix up the magic potion and begin applying it to her as she stands in the tub - tense, shaking, miserable and trying to jump out at every opportunity. The directions called for rubber gloves, but I figured I wouldn’t be able to really feel what I was doing if I was wearing gloves, so I was doing this with my bare hands. Halfway through, my hands start to burn. I ignore it, finish up, and set the timer for 10 minutes, which is how long the dog is supposed to sit with this mixture on. I’m still forcibly holding her in the tub and trying to console her (not working) and now keep her from shaking the stuff all over the bathroom. Finally the timer goes off, and now I have to rinse her off, but we’re still dealing with the terror of running water, so that makes the rinsing fun. Then once I’ve rinsed her off, I have to wash her again, this time with dog shampoo. Now my back is starting to ache from leaning over the tub at such a weird angle, holding Kali in the tub and using the other hand to lather and rinse. Finally I get her completely rinsed off and wonder, how on earth am I going to get her out of the tub and outside without her shaking all over the house? I wrap the freshly twice-cleaned dog in a towel and carry her outside. There, she shakes and shakes and shakes and then tries to dry herself on the ground. Which (of course) is muddy. I clean the mud off her the best I can, throw her on the screen porch to dry a little more, and bring Luna in so I can go through this entire process with her. Ask me if I wore gloves this time. Right. So after I carry Luna through the house in her towel (she’s a 50-pound dog) and then wipe the mud off of her and throw her on the screen porch, Ariela says to me “Mommy, look at your hands!” They’re covered in tiny red dots, all over. I wash them the best I can and put on a good hand cream and that seems to help.

Then I went out to by presents for a baby shower I was attending the next day, picked up a pizza, came home, got the kids dressed and we all went to see the Spanish Dance version of the Nutcracker (the nutcracker was a bullfighter and the rat king was a bull) and then returned my parents’ dog.

The solution seems to have mostly done the trick, although there are faint remnants of skunk still on my dog and Kali is a little worse, since she took the brunt of the hit (stupid dog) - but who cares; she's at my parents' house now. The house smells a lot better and my hands are OK. Ariela is feeling better; seems to have been just a case of the midnight vomits. The moral of the story is…there is no damn moral.

Well, according to Dvorah, the moral is this: If you see a black and white “dog” with a big fluffy tail, don’t ever stick your nose in its butt.

Get Glow

2007-10-16T12:19:00.000-04:00

Let’s talk about shampoo. I’ve always been a conditioner girl, myself. I have fairly thick, fairly long, wavy and often unruly hair. My whole life the shampoo has been to get the hair clean – you know, get out the twigs and leaves and stuff – and the conditioner has been where it’s at. This line of products has turned all that on its ear.

The first product I sampled from the Get Glow line was the Intense Hair Repair Nourishing Treatment (a conditioner, of course). More about that later, but suffice to say right now that I loved it so much I decided to test the rest of the line. What I found could not have surprised me more.

Moisturizing Shampoo:
I tried this one first. I decided this summer to make my hair a brighter and lighter red than ever before, which involved lightening my hair several shades. I have only done this a couple of times in my life, because normally it leaves my hair, although looking cool, feeling like hay. I like hay – hay is good. If you’re a horse. But I don’t want it on my head. So immediately after coloring, I went straight for the moisturizing shampoo (and the aforementioned Hair Repair Nourishing Treatment). My hair not only looked great, it felt great and continued to do so. Also, I don’t normally like the smell of mint, but in this shampoo, it really works and I love it. This shampoo is a miracle, I thought. Let’s check out the rest of the line.

Clarifying Shampoo:
Wow. I’m an every-other-day hair washer. Normally, by the end of day two, my hair really needs to be washed. I use this stuff and my hair just stays clean and clean and clean. I still wash it every other day, but (I have yet to test this theory) I feel like it would stay clean for a week. By the end of day two it still feels great. I expected this shampoo to be a little drying. My hair still feels healthy and clean and my scalp is definitely not greasy, but also not dry and itchy. This is the one I use most of all and I plan to never – EVER – live without it. Did I say never? Never.

Daily Shampoo:
This is the one I turn to least often, but only because my love for the other two is nearing obsession. I use this one on my kids a lot because it’s gentle, smells great and leaves their hair very clean and very shiny. If you haven’t damaged your hair or you like to wash it every single day…this is probably the shampoo for you.

One final note about the Get Glow shampoos: They are very concentrated. I don’t happen to think the price is all that outrageous - $16 for 8 ounces. But believe me when I tell you that an amount about the size of a dime is enough to get my entire head of hair very clean. This stuff lasts a long long time. Great bang for your buck.

Intense Hair Repair Nourishing Treatment:
First, I fell in love with the packaging. The tub, with the flower on it, the words around the outside – totally adorable. Sometimes I just like to look at it in my shower. Then I opened the jar. The smell is swoon-worthy. And anybody who knows me knows I’m all about the smell. If it works great but smells like crap I won’t use it. This stuff smells phemonenal. I’d love it in a body cream. Now, I did get a little confused about the instructions because it says to towel dry your hair, apply, wait 10 minutes, then rinse out. So I showered, got out of the shower, towel-dried my hair, put the stuff in, then got back in the shower 10 minutes later. My hair stylist sister said “Duh.” Apparently you’re supposed to bring a dry washcloth into the shower with you, get the worst of the water out, apply, then shave your legs, take care of all the other shower stuff until it’s time to rinse it out. This made the whole process much simpler for me. It was an “aha” moment. How does it work, you ask? My hair was shinier, healthier, smelled incredible and just felt like I could spend all day running my fingers through my own hair. Perfect for the soft-light, gentle-wind-blowing hair toss. Talk about Glow.

Light Gentle Silky Conditioner:
This one is not quite heavy enough for my hair. I really do need a heavy conditioner. But it’s chock full of vitamins, smells great and works perfectly on my two daughters, ages 6 & 9, who have straight hair – not exactly fine, but not super thick either. For them, it’s perfect. Gets the tangles out, leaves their hair soft and silky and looking fab. I don’t use it on them every day, but I made sure they used it on school picture day.

Light Reflector Frizz Eraser:
9-year old daughter: “Mommy, does your hair ever get frizzy?
Me: “Yes.”
Daughter: “What does it look like when it’s frizzy, like it looks right now?”

Thanks, kid.

What better time to test the frizz eraser? This stuff tames the frizzies, all right. And leaves a shine. It contains silica, which really adds a bit of sparkle. If you’re having a dull hair day, or just need to get the frizz under control, this stuff will take care of it. This is another product from this line that I will always have in my bathroom.

Ready, Set, Hold! Hair Spray:
I’m not much of a hair spray person. I’ve always hated the sticky feeling of it, and how by the end of the night my hair feels filthy, tacky and disgusting. So it was with some trepidation that I allowed my sister to spray it on my hair one night when I was getting ready to go out. No stickiness. No tackiness. No filth magnet. And it even smells good. My hair was not crunchy, but it retained its style. And it moved, looked natural and I could touch it. I still don’t wear hair spray very often, but when I really need that extra level of control, this is the one I use.

Thickening Spray for Body Volume Control:
This is the only product in the line that I haven’t tried, but I plan to get a friend to use it and post a review.

My final word on the Get Glow line: I spent three weeks in Canada this summer and, in the interest of conserving space, I just packed sample sizes of whatever hair products I had lying around. By the end of week one, I really noticed a difference and wished I had brought the Get Glow stuff with me, or that I could pick it up at the local store. This is a great new line, very word-of mouth right now, and I can’t wait until it’s in salons and stores all over the place. I’m completely hooked. Available at Essential Hair Shops in NYC, The MarioDiab Salon in NYC, Stellie's Salon in Brooklyn and at Essential TherapiesDaySpa in Bolton,MA and, of course, at http://www.getglow.com/

Today’s scent: Vivienne Westwood Boudoir. Reputed to smell like “women’s parts,” I don’t get that. I do get a real smouldering femininity. Lush, rich, deep, this fragrance starts from the base and works its way up. Sandalwood, vanilla, cinnamon and a touch of patchouli give a depth to the powdery floral orange blossom, hint of rose, coriander, marigold stuff on top. This is a somewhat old-fashioned fragrance in that it’s a little heavy and – I get a whiff of tobacco in there too. This is a Boudoir. It’s a hint of masculine pipe tobacco & shaving cream deftly mixed with expensive powder and floral perfumes. It’s moody, better in cooler weather (I can see it being on the cloying side in hot weather) and extremely well blended. It’s a masterpiece.

The Sun and the Moon

2007-06-06T11:09:00.000-04:00

For about four days earlier this week, I asked myself the following questions:

Why is my back so achey?
Why am I so hungry?
Why am I so tired?
Why do my boobs hurt? Maybe it’s cancer!

Then I woke up, got my period and thought “Ohhhhhh, well that explains it!”

The other night I watched a show about Chaco Canyon with my family. My husband and I had visited Pueblo Bonita at Chaco Canyon on our honeymoon road trip around the southwest, and it’s an incredible place, full of vibrant palpable spirituality and leaving us with more questions than answers. This enormous complex of buildings was clearly not used as living space, since it’s partly inhabitable (closed rooms & ceilings, no light or ventilation for fires) and there is little evidence of household garbage.

Since we were there over 12 years ago, apparently quite a bit of research has been done as to the purpose of the buildings, specifically with regard to its position in relation to the sun and the moon. Incredibly, the Chacoans, who seem to have been the ancestors of the Pueblo group of Native Americans, with no written language, seem to have built this structure with its main walls 100% perfectly aligned with the phases of the sun and the moon. They have walls and markings denoting both the Solstices and the Equinoxes, and have even marked the phases of the moon. The moon thing is even more incredible, since even though it completes its full to full cycle every 28 days, it is not completely in synch with the phases of the sun and it rises in a different part of the sky, with an EIGHTEEN YEAR cycle back to its original spot.

Further, not only is the great building at Chaco Canyon lined up just so, many other buildings in a 200-mile radius (not visible from one to the other except by air) are equally aligned.

A book I’m reading, “Stonehenge” by Bernard Cornwell is a bit of historical fiction, along the lines of “Clan of the Cave Bear” but in the book, Cornwell, through the epic story of three brothers, all sons of a great clan chief, details the building of temples to the sun god with precise engineering relating to the phases of the sun and the moon. It’s a very interesting theory and likely more true than we realize.

So here’s my question: If these “primitive” people, with no written language, can track the sun and the moon over such a long period of time, and accurately erect massive stone monuments which act in effect as giant sun dials…why is it that every single month, I wonder why my back aches and why I’m so tired? How can I get my period every single month (with the exception of a couple of pregnancies) for TWENTY FOUR YEARS, and still manage to surprise myself with it once a month?

I might have been a good sacrifice in the Chaco Canyon or Stonehenge days, but not good for much else.

Today’s fragrance: Molinard Habanita. A woman in line behind me at Quick Check, where I stopped to buy my coffee this morning, turned to me and said “Smells like something is burning, doesn’t it?” I think she meant me. But to hell with it, I smell damn good. Let me be burning baby powder. Perhaps the Sun God will accept this as my burnt offering.

Boyfriend criteria

2007-02-28T10:38:00.000-05:00

I was talking with my 8-year old daughter the other day about what criteria to look for in a potential boyfriend. We came up with the following:

1. He should be a boy. (Not that I'm being heavy-handed about determing heterosexuality here, she can choose what she wants. I just think a BOYfriend should be a boy.)
2. **He must be smart.
3. He must be kind. More than nice, kindness has global ramifications.
4. He must have a good sense of humor.
5. He must treat you well. (With kindness and humor.)
6. It helps if he's cute. Not required. (To this, she said "Daddy's cute." Indeed he is, I replied.)

Did I miss anything? My 5yo seems to have extremely high standards for boyfriends, as she tells me daily that this boy or that (there seem to be about 6 vying for her attention) in her Kindergarten class has told her she's his girlfriend. She says "But I told him I'm NOT his girlfriend."

Today's fragrance: Carthusia Fiori di Capri. Wild carnation, lily of the valley, amber, sandalwood, ylang-ylang, oak. This is an incredibly well-blended fragrance, and based on the notes, I shouldn't love it. Lily of the valley on me tends to be overly assertive yet girly, and carnation can be overwhelming too. I can only assume the "oak" here is oakmoss, but I may be wrong. I have no idea what oakmoss smells like, only that I seem to usually love fragrances that contain it. After falling head over heels for this one and buying a bottle, I realized that it is very reminiscent of a longtime love of mine - Ysatis de Givenchy. Whatever the reason, Fiori di Capri is the perfect choice for a day like today, when the snow has melted and the sun promises that Spring is on its way.

TAG, I'm it!

2007-02-08T12:02:00.000-05:00

OK, but first, a few things. Winterwheat...I am THIRTY SEVEN YEARS OLD. And so are you. :D

And last night's funny kid comment. We were watching the movie The Ant Bully. Basically there's a kid who stomps on the ants and messes with them all the time. So the ants decide to turn him into an ant so they can exact revenge on him. They shrink him, drag him down to the nest and the Ant Queen decides that he should learn to live like an ant before he is returned home. He's having a conversation with the ant wizard who asks:
"So...you humans all live and work together, like a giant colony?"
Kid: "No...it's more like every man for himself."

And my daughter D, age 8 chimes in: "And all the GIRLS work together."

Heh. That's my baby.

OK, on to the tag. I'm only 2 months late on this and I know the entire rest of the blogging world has already been there, done that, so I'm not tagging anybody back, but I will fulfill my mission of tagged-ness. Here goes:

Four jobs I have had:
1. Gaming Accountant in a Las Vegas casino
2. Waitress
3. Fish factory Processor in Alaska
4. Counter person at a Korean dry cleaner.

Movies I could watch over and over
1. Wayne's World
2. The Addams' Family
3. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
4. Smoke Signals

Four places I have lived apart from where I live now
1. Las Vegas, NV
2. On a boat in the middle of the Bering Sea - AK?
3. London, England
4. Waltham, MA

Four tv shows that I love
Honestly...I just don't watch TV. Sorry. It's not an ethical thing, I just don't have time and when I do, I usually watch a movie instead.

Four places I have been on holidays
1. Seattle, WA
2. San Diego, CA
3. New Mexico
4. Nova Scotia

Four websites I visit daily
1. Google
2. Makeupalley
3. MFAS
4. Wikipedia (well, not quite daily, but frequently)

Four favourite foods
1. Fettuccini Alfredo with Shrimp
2. Caesar Salad with Shrimp
3. Shrimp
4. Doritos (now banned from my house, except in those little lunch-size bags)

Four places I would rather be right now
1. Costa Rica
2. Home with the family having the kind of fun family day I always imagine but somehow it never quite works out that way. Need to work on soft-focusing my life a little.
3. San Diego
4. Oh, just anyplace warm and fun with people I love.

4 people I am tagging
As previously discussed...nobody.
Scent of the day: Caron Nocturnes. A beautiful rich floral, perfect for bringing a bit of sunshine into a bitterly cold day, but not overly summery. This is a Spring/Fall/Winter floral.

Happy Birthday to Me!

2007-01-16T15:06:00.000-05:00

Send presents!

I love presents.

I know, I know: I'm still tagged. Totally my nextest post. Just had to share the good news (my birthday, duh.)! Actually, now seems like a good time to unveil (so to speak) my epitaph, since I've instructed my family to begin using it now.

My birthday cake said "Happy Birthday, Queen of the Universe." My daughter made me a crown out of pipe cleaners and glass beads. My friend gave me a mirror that says "Queen of the Realm." See a theme here?

I hope so.

Call me.

2007-01-05T11:40:00.000-05:00

OK, I know I've been tagged by pfg, and I promise that will be my next post, but I just have to share this story with you.

A week or so ago, I got a phone call from a friend who had given her phone number to a guy at a party. They'd been talking, they hit it off, enjoyed each other's company and when he was making last-ditch flirty efforts with her at the end of the party, she just handed him her number. Then she got all freaked out. She'd never done such a thing, what if he didn't call, etc. I said look, either he'll call or he won't. If he doesn't, it's no different than if you hadn't given him your number. If he does, bonus! But she was just horrified with herself for taking that step and handing him her number, unasked. Incidentally, sexy man did call my friend and they have a date.

So last night, I went to pick up my 8yo daughter from her piano lesson and left my phone in the car. When I got back in the car, I saw that I had missed a call from a number I didn't recognize. I called the number back, explained to the woman who answered the phone who I was, and she said "Oh, hi, it's Alex's mom!" (not his real name)

Alex is a kid in my 5yo daughter's kindergarten class. He and my daughter are together all the time, they sit together at lunch, they choose each other for "Share the News" time pairings, etc. His mother and I have spoken a few times about how cute they are together. Alex is adorable and sweet. An excellent choice.

So she tells me that Alex came home from school yesterday with a note with a child's handwriting on it and a telephone number. The note was from my daughter. Alex asked if he could call her.

I put her on the phone for a bit and she talked to Alex, about what he'd done after school, etc and said "OK, see you tomorrow." and hung up.

And it occurred to me: She's light years ahead of the rest of us. My 5 year old has given her number (MY number) to a boy so he could call her. "For a playdate or something." So A) she'll never be in the position my friend is in, an adult wondering if giving her number to a man unasked makes her some kind of slutfreak. And B) as her mother...I'm in deep, deep doody.

Today's fragrance: Mitsouko EDP. Perfect for that unseasonably warm, rainy day.

Best of 2006!!!

2006-12-29T13:17:00.000-05:00

Hi, thanks for checking out my Top Ten of 2006! Here they are in no particular order, except for #1, which is earth-shattering & without a doubt the biggest discovery of this year. Of course, as always, my discoveries are heavy on the fragrance side of things. This is caused by two things: First, I am a fragrance addict, so why wouldn’t I be all about the fragrances? Second, although I smell amazing most of the time, I’m kind of a slob, most often found in jeans and t-shirts with no makeup on. So it only seems normal that very few of my beauty discoveries would be of the visual kind. Having said that, let's move on!

1. Montale Black Aoud. This dark fragrance, from the little-known company Montale, has captured my heart and imagination like no other in a long time. Interestingly, the first time I sniffed it, I thought, “Oh, this is interesting” and stuck it in the giant martini glass where samples go to live when they have potential but are not yet full-bottle-worthy. A few months later, I came across it again when I was trying to figure out what scent to wear to a schmancy event, to go with the fuchsia Indian outfit I was planning to wear. I re-tested it and it blew me away. I wore it that night and no fewer than THREE men fell in love with me that night. Well…love might be too strong a word, and one is already my husband…but let’s say the response from men was extremely positive. And unexpected: I’m not the kind of woman who walks around causing men to swoon, trust me on this. Since that night, I’ve worn it several times and always with the same results. This is my magic love elixir. One night a gay man propositioned me. Amazing stuff. I’m not really sure what’s in here, but it’s dark and mysterious. There’s aoud, clear enough. A bizarre, mediciney woodsy smell, which fades as the scent wears, but remains present. Other than that, there is an ingredient I can only think of as black rose. Definitely rose, definitely dark. Whatever it is, it is magical. Try some for yourself, but definitely try it first. Just because it’s MY magic elixir doesn’t mean the formula will work with you.

2. OK, that’s hard to follow, I know, so I’m going to take a totally different direction with #2. I had a coupon for Bath & Body Works: buy something for $10; get something up to $13 free. I was bound and determined to use this coupon. But, between you and me, I’m not really a huge fan of B&BW stuff. So it took me a while, wandering around and testing stuff, until I came across this little jar of Savannah Bee Company Beeswax Hand Cream. It was right there on the shelf with the Burts Bees stuff (I guess they just stick all bee-related products in the same corner). I tried it and, WOW! I don’t normally get excited about a hand cream, but this is thick and rich but soaks right in. It smells amazing, a little like peaches & cream, but not in that artificial way. And my hands have never been so soft.

3. Youth Dew Amber Nude by Tom Ford, for Estee Lauder. I’d never tried the original Amber Nude when I tested this, but I put this on and walked around the store for about 20 minutes. When, after 20 minutes, I was still intrigued by the way I smelled, I knew I had to have it. I have since tested the original Youth Dew and in my opinion, YDAN is original Youth Dew plus black rubber and band-aids. If this sounds gross, I say just test it first. It *IS* kinda gross, but in a good way. It’s edgy, it’s sexy, it’s just plain great. Well done, Tom Ford!

4. Le Baiser du Dragon by Cartier. This one really defies explanation (by me, anyway) but when I first got it, I wore it for a week straight. This is unheard of for me. The notes, per escentual.com are: Delicate, sweet top notes of bitter almond, neroli orange, and gardenia. Woody, powdery heart notes of iris, cedar, and musk. Earthy, sensual base notes of vetiver, patchouli, and benzoin. I think this one was created with more attention to the bottle than to the scent, but they hit home with me on the scent.

5. Caron Nocturnes. This seems to fall into a category of fragrances I love, namely big 80s florals. Think Ysatis, Divine, that kind of thing. Do NOT think Giorgio. Nocturnes is all personality, in a very feminine way. Per perfumebay, the notes: Top: Aldehydes, bergamot, mandarin, greens. Middle: Rose, jasmine, ylang-ylang, tuberose, stephanotis, lily of the valley, orris, cyclamen. Base: Vanilla, amber, musk, sandalwood, vetiver, benzoin.

6. False eyelashes. Don't laugh. I’m not really good at them yet, but most of my adult life I’ve considered myself eyelash-challenged and these seem to be just the ticket. I did wear a big full set of rhinestone-encrusted ones to my sister’s Christmas Eve party and I got tons of compliments on them. But I never realized how much work blinking could be! I am working on mastering the art of the little eyelash clusters, and will report back.

7. Essence of Vali Massage & Bath Oil: Relief. As part of a Sniffapalooza event, I attended a presentation at Spa Ja in NYC. The presentations were amuzing, culminating with a woman telling us how the PATCHully can cure the Cancer, but it also makes de dogs very excited. Anyway, I bought this oil to massage on my husband who has a painful shoulder and I’m considering buying a case of it. I’ve used it on my temples for headaches, my lower back when feeling crampy, his shoulder a million times…it really works. I’m such a skeptic, but this stuff works.

8. Mitsouko EDP. For years I’ve tested this one and never understood what all the hoopla was about. I love chypres, I should love Mitsouko. But I just didn’t get it! I liked it, but I didn’t love it. Until one day, I put it on and BAM, right between the eyes it hit me. Remember those 3-D pictures that were so popular in the 80s? I thought they were a big hoax like the emperor’s new clothes. I didn’t believe anybody could see anything. Then one day, I aligned my eyes just so and the picture popped right out. That’s what happened with Mitsouko. This is a perfume of incomparable beauty and haunting loveliness, perfect for those cold, clear days or a walk on the moor.

9. Estee Lauder Double Wear Foundation. I’ve always thought the $6 stuff was just as good…but it really isn’t. Damn Estee Lauder for that free sample and letting me see what life could be like with a really good foundation. My sample ran out last night and as soon as I’m done typing here, I’m off to buy a $30-something bottle of foundation. To some of you that may not seem like a lot, and I know I’ve bought bottles of perfume that cost WAY more than that, it’s just an adjustment in attitude is all. This is the new me in 2007: Well-foundationed.

10. Narciso Rodriguez Musc Oil. This is a scent I became intimate with when my father was going through chemotherapy and couldn’t tolerate most scents. I wore NR Musc Oil just to scent my own personal space for a few days and then worked up the courage to ask if it was bothering him. On the contrary, he found it quite pleasant. So, NR Musc Oil it was, for several weeks. I really grew to love and respect thus subtle skin scent. Plus…it’s kind of sexy.

Thank you for reading my blog, as I will enjoy reading all of yours. Best wishes for a beautiful and fragrant 2007! Please be sure to check out all the other lovely bloggers participating and sharing their best of 2006, as we move into a new and exciting year. May your New Year be full of love and joy!

Beauty Blogging Junkie

Beauty by Nadine

Beautiful Makeup Search & Beauty Blog

Brain Trapped in Girl's Body

Koneko's *Mostly* Beauty Diary!

No one knows why the wolf laughs

Now Smell This

Perfume Smellin' Things

Peppermint Patty's Perfume Posse

Platinum Blonde Life

Product Girl

Scentzilla!

She'll Be Feverish After So Much Thinking

Slap of the Day

The Customer Is Always Right

The Daily Obsession

The Great She Elephant

The Life of a Ladybug

The Non-Blonde

Urbane Girl

Victoria's Own

Why I married Jesus

2006-10-13T10:22:00.000-04:00

"Dating wasn't working."

http://www.kentucky.com/mld/kentucky/15707318.htm

http://www.wistv.com/Global/story.asp?S=5511073

I own over fifty vibrators.

2006-10-09T22:31:00.000-04:00

Sometimes the headline is really much more interesting than the story.

"I spent a night in jail in Las Vegas." That sounds like a great story! Till you find out it was because of a broken headlight I got a ticket for. I repaired the headlight and forgot about the ticket and a bench warrant was issued for me. Of course, the LVPD boy who was lucky enough to Bring Me In (I'm not Dillinger!) practically sang Bad boys bad boys, whatcha gonna do? to me in the car on the way to the jail. In handcuffs.

To make the story fun, at that time I was engaged to a man who had spent many years in a motorcycle club, worked as a bouncer in a bar, the whole stereotype. HE had never been arrested. HE had no tattoos. So he meets this nice, jewish girl from NJ who has a tattoo, has done more drugs than he ever did and ends up in Las Vegas City Jail on the ONE night his cousin is in town. The one he hasn't seen since his family left the cattle ranch back in Montana many, many years ago.

So there I am in jail, using my free phone calls (they're unlimited in LV City jail!) to call him every 10 minutes and beg him to come "bail me out." That's what they do in the movies, right? Somebdy gets arrested, somebody comes to bail them out. So he blows off the cousin to go bail out his "friend" in jail and when he gets there they say "She hasn't even been booked yet."

WHAT?!?! I'm sitting on the floor (cause all the benches are taken up by the mean girls) of the holding tank with hookers, a woman who has just stabbed her mother in law (also her cousin or something) over a crack deal, women so whacked out on drugs they're out of their minds, one who was in there for a DUI and there's me - the big headlight offender. Crying. And it was FREEZING in there! Seriously so cold it was hard to move. Which was exactly their point. Heat it up a little and da bitches is fighting. No, keep us on ice. We're calmer that way.

So a take-no-prisoners kinda cowgirl, the type you just know lives on her ranch with a bunch of guns and takes no crap from nobody, who is in there on a similar charge to mine, kinda takes me under her wing. She's not afraid of the crackheads or murderers, she shoves one woman in a heroin nod over to the side and makes room for me on the bench.

If she had kissed me, I might just have kissed her back. I'm in jail for a half hour and I'm some woman's bitch. Fortunately, she wasn't about that, she just had that cowgirl sense of right and wrong and thought I should have a seat. And she was nice and called me "honey."

Finally, at about 2 am (I'd been pulled over on the way to dinner, around 5 pm) I met with some judicial kinda person who said I would be R.O.R. Released on my Own Recognizance. Just some paperwork to get through. They'd let me know when I should call my fiance for the 837th time.

On my little trip through the jailhouse, I noticed the men had TWO holding tanks. One for felonies, one for misdemeanors. So the little boys who are in jail cause they forgot to take care of a headlight ticket are not sitting in jail with murderers. So what is up with throwing all the women together? I still haven't quite figured that one out.

I was released at 7am. I had exactly enough time to get home, take a quick shower, put my clothes on and get to work. What was I going to do, call in "arrested?"

Incredibly, my biker/bouncer/cowboy fiance married me anyway. We've been married eleven years as of yesterday. Sometimes good boys just like us bad girls.

Today's fragrance: a beautiful oil blend brought back from Morocco for me by a friend who probably wouldn't have done that if she knew of my checkered past. I don't remember what's in it - rose and some other stuff - but it doesn't matter all that much cause you can't get it anywhere. So there.

PS - Vibrators and Dead Milkmen fall into the same category. The headline is better than the story. Trust me.

Trapped in the middle of fuck-all with the Dead Milkmen

2006-10-05T00:53:00.000-04:00

Really...that about covers it, doesn't it? Seemed like a good idea at the time.

Happy birthday to my friend Writerchick!

This evening's fragrance: Montale Black Oud. Perfect for an orange and red shirt, red lipstick and Bon Jovi at Karaoke night. Not to mention the magic tricks guy who started out dorky but got cuter the more tricks he did.

Sorry for my silence!

2006-09-29T15:32:00.000-04:00

This is always my busiest time - I haven't even had a chance to READ any of my favorite blogs lately, or update my links. All this housekeeping. I promise I'll get to it soon. In the meantime, I leave you with the words of my daughter:

5yo ran into the kitchen, yelled something mostly unintelligible at my husband and left.

8yo looked up from doing her homework. "Smile and nod, Daddy. Just smile and nod. That's what mommy told me."

Thanks for your patience. I promise to be with you soon.

Some good kid quotes

2006-07-29T15:53:00.000-04:00

My 8-year old daughter, D, is about to start a 2-week day camp for "Creative Drama." Sounds like a good program. So I said to her yesterday, "Drama camp starts on Monday. You'd better start practicing being a drama queen."

D: "Um, I don't think I really need to practice."

Me: "Think they'll let you wear your crown?"

The other day, my 5-year old daughter, A, and I were in the car and we were doing some math problems. I gave her one and she figured it out and I said "Wow, great work! You did that without a pencil and paper!"

A: "The pencil and paper are made out of...brain stuff."

And this one might be a repeat from last summer, but it's been requested by WriterChick.

Last summer, A, then 4 years old, was playing with the magnetic poetry kit on my parents' refrigerator. She couldn't read, so she just strung a bunch of words together and made me read it to her. The last three words were "I. P. Yonder."

This amused her greatly and she made me read it to her repeatedly, always cracking up at the last words: I. P. Yonder. Later, we were in the car and out of nowhere she said "Yonder is just a Spanish word for: over dere."

I realize my fragrance of the day has been horribly neglected, (as has my blog in general) so I am hereby reinstating it.

Fragrance of the day: Robert Piguet Bandit. Bandit was introduced on the runway in 1944 during World War II with models brandishing pistols. Bandit is a floral chypre. Top notes: Neroli, Orange Essence, Ylang-Ylang, Artemisia, Galbanum, Bergamot Heart notes: Jasmine, Tuberose, Orris, Rose, Carnation, Leather Base notes: Mousse de Chene, Castoreum, Patchouli, Vetiver, Myrrh, Musk (thanks to Luscious Cargo for the notes). This is truly a take no prisoners scent. It's strong, ballsy, very distinctive with a leathery mossy feel and it's the one I wear when I'm feeling especially fab and on top of the world. OR when I'm feeling especially bitchy. I'll let you figure out which one is me today.

"Let's Go Camping!"

2006-07-24T12:35:00.000-04:00

These were the brilliant words spoken by me recently, when planning a mini family getaway. We had to pick up our 8-year old daughter from her two weeks at sleepaway camp, two hours away. My husband suggested we (we being me, my husband and our 5-year old daughter) find a place nearby to spend a night, explore the area a little. I said "camping."

I went to Triple A, got the Campbook, found a state park, made reservations. State parks apparently don't make Saturday-only reservations so we decided to go up the night before, spend Friday night, pick up our daughter Saturday morning and spend Saturday night as well.

I reserved a campsite with no site on one side of us, partly shaded and...oh, did I mention we brought the dog? Yeah. So we had a "Pets allowed" site. But there were two lakes in this park, a beach, you could rent boats, they even had activities for kids throughout the day! We brought bathing suits.

We were worried about space, since we had all our camping stuff PLUS our daughter's 2 bags, laundry basket, pillow & sleeping bag from camp when we picked her up. In an attempt at packing light, we decided to bag the foamy things we use under the sleeping bags on the floor of the tent. We figured we'd be fine.

So we get to the site Friday evening, with about 2 hours of daylight to go. We looked for a place to put the tent among the rocks, rocks and...rocks. Found a relatively flat space with only SMALL rocks, put down the ground cover and pulled out the tent. The wrong tent. We had left home the 3-room tent which sleeps 6 comfortably and brought the 4-person tent, which everybody knows sleeps maybe 3 people comfortably. Whatever, we thought. We'll make it work. I ran out to buy wood, came back with a trunk full of damp wood and we finally managed to get a very smoky fire going. We cooked hot dogs, baked beans and ate some of the yummy fruits and veggies I had lovingly prepared ahead of time.

NB: Soy hot dogs bubble in a creepy way when cooked over an open fire.

Luna (our dog) spent a lot of time running around, looking for critters and meeting all the other dogs in nearby campsites. We finally tied her up at our site; we got tired of running after her. She's very friendly but a little too enthusiastic sometimes. She drank a lot of water but absolutely refused to touch the leftover veggie baked beans we poured over her food.

Oh, and the mosquitos - GOOD GOD, the mosquitos! They were everywhere, swarming. They seemed to like all THREE of the bug sprays we brought with us. Or if they didn't like them, the spray sure didn't slow them down any. In no time, we were all covered with bites.

We went to use the bathroom which was unspeakably horrible. No light, no running water, no flushing, lots of creepy bugs...you get the picture. We filled an empty water jug with some rusty wet stuff (I hesitate to call it water) and washed our faces and brushed our teeth at the camp site. Got in the tent and I thought - there is no way in hell I'm going to get any sleep tonight.

Every time a dog barked, Luna wanted to respond. She was in the tent with us. The ground was - literally - rock hard. Not only hard, but I had to position myself in a way that my hip avoided this rock, that little rock went between a couple of ribs and avoid - at all costs - the boob crusher. It was hot, so we were all on top of our sleeping bags, thankful for that extra layer of cushioning.

Some time around midnight (I'm guessing) it started to rain. The rain didn't stop the other dogs from barking and making Luna jump up every time a car drove past or a dog made a noise, but we finally got her settled in. Our 5-year old is terrified of thunder, so we had to console her a lot. Plus, in our surprise at the SMALLNESS of the tent we had brought, we neglected to properly fit the ground cover under the tent.

So it sat out at least 6 inches all around the tent, collected every drop of rain from above or the fly of the tent and ran it right underneath our tent. I woke up after one particularly good span of maybe 2 minutes' sleep to the dog lapping up a puddle right next to my ear. I shoved her head out of the way, making her move over to my husband's side of the tent where he woke up being dripped on by the dog. "That dog is PEEING on me!" he shouted. "No, she's just wet from the puddles in here," I informed him.

So went the rest of the night. Dogs barked, cars drove by, some asshole I swear was setting off firecrackers, dog continued lapping up puddles or just licking herself (This now ranks way up there on my list of most annoying sounds - ever).

Finally the rain stopped, the sun came up and we got out of the tent. We were wet, the sleeping bags and pillows were wet, the dog was wet, the wood was wet. We ate rolls with hard-boiled eggs for breakfast and went to pick up our daugher from camp. We managed to find a bathroom with toilets that flush and running water. Things were looking up.

The pickup went fine, the sun was shining, the bugs were happy. Really damn happy. We got back to the camp, wondering how we were all going to fit in this 4-person tent, now wet, with the dog and if the wood would dry out enough for us to make a fire. Despite the problems of the night before, we were determined to make it work. We pulled into the campsite and the skies opened up again, dumping tons of rain on us. We sat in the car for an hour and ate peanut butter sandwiches.

When it slowed down to just a torrential downpour, I decided I'd had enough of breathing everybody else's breath in the car (we couldn't open the windows with the rain and the bugs) , said to my hisband "I'm in Hell" and went to go sit in the tent for a bit. Thought maybe I'd figure out how we'd manage the rest of our stay.

By now though, the fly of the tent had completely given up, so not only was the floor of the tent and everything in it soaked, I sat in the tent being dripped on from above. My daughters came to sit with me in the tent and we ate some granola bars and looked around. I said to my 8-year old "Go tell Daddy we're leaving."

It took us about an hour or so to jam everything back into the car and hit the road.

Earlier today my husband said to me "We'll have some time at the end of August, we should think about getting away somewhere." I said "Wanna go camping?"

Tagged: 20 answers all about me.

2006-06-05T10:22:00.000-04:00

OK, this is what I found in my comments section this morning and, being the good girl that I am, I feel obligated to play along. Been off the blog for a while though, not sure if I can come up with 4 people who will want to play with me, unless I tag pfg back, since I don't see that she actually did this one...

Yeeeha, back to the blog! Come on...you know you want to. Copy and paste the questions. Delete my answers. Delete question #1 and shift all of the remaining 19 questions up one space. Add your own 20th question, then answer all 20 questions. Pass it on to 4 other people.

1) Do you remember playing 45s? Yes.

2) What is the worst band you ever liked? Probably some hokey Country stuff. I have liked lots of bad bands in my time, nothing specific comes to mind. There was Rico Suave...

3) Have you ever done the macarena? Yes I have. Not only that, I enjoyed it.

4) Are there books/magazines are currently in your bathroom? (if yes, what?) Usually just whatever books the kids leave in there. I'm not really a bathroom reader.

5) Have you ever done one of those embarrassing group dances at weddings? Yes. At my own, even. I have lovely video of the chicken dance and my sister popping the top button off her bridesmaid dress, since the poor dress was no match for her huge breasts plus the chicken dance.

6) Coffee or tea? Both, but usually coffee. If tea, then it must be black tea (don't give me that herbal stuff) with milk and sweetener.

7) Whip or no whip? Heh.

8) Did you ever have an imaginary friend and if so, what was he/she/it named? No.

9) Do you know how to perform the Heimlich Maneuver? In theory, but I've never had to use it.

10) Do you still celebrate your birthday? A day all about me? Absolutely.

11) Do you or have you ever cross dressed? (women in overalls and men in kilts don’t count) No, I'm just generally a jeans & t-shirts kind of slob.

12) What is the worst food you ever ate? Probably something I cooked. Worst in theory was when on tour with an orchestra in Europe and in Austria they served us some soup which was actually really good until I got to the pigs' knuckles at the bottom.

13) How old were you when you had your first real kiss? Twelve. Jonathan Blanc. Summer camp.

14) Have you had your 15 minutes of fame? I've had snippets here and there, but I like to think I'm still waiting for my full 15. Let it be for a good reason...

15) What is the longest you ever went without sleep for? Three days, two nights. I started auditory hallucinations: Vivaldi's Four Seasons.

16) If your hair could be any color, what would it be? I'd probably change it daily, but I kind of like the rich auburn color it is now.

17) What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Edy's French Silk.

18) Wax, bleach, pluck, or shave? Yes.

19) If you were a super hero, what would your power be? This is one I ponder often, actually. Today I think I'd be Flame Thrower Woman. But maybe my power would be the ability to change my power whenever I wanted to.

20) What is your favorite smell? The way the air smells on that first Spring-like day after a long cold Winter. There's nothing like it.

The National Spelling Bee

2006-06-02T10:29:00.000-04:00

Yay, girls! Yay New Jersey!

I'm a geek. I watched the National Spelling Bee last night with my husband, and we kept our two daughters, ages 5 & 8, up until after 10 watching with us.

I cried for almost every kid who was knocked out. I got most of the words wrong, unless they were French or Italian in origin, had anything to do with music or Turkish rugs. I might have known a perfume word or two as well, but didn't hear a single one.

After one kid spelled his word wrong and was sent to go sit with his parents, the announcers were talking about what a great job he had done - I think he was somewhere in the top 10 or 11 spellers. The man I can only describe as the "color announcer," who apparently won the National Spelling Bee in 1990, said "Yeah, he did good."

My eight year old daughter turned to me and said "'He did GOOD?!?!'" I said, yeah, that's what I heard him say. She said "They should have a grammar bee."

I'm not sure what's behind the sudden focus on spelling bees in this country. A rash of movies and documentaries made this the first National Spelling Bee with Prime Time coverage in all its 79 years. I have not yet seen Akeelah and the Bee, nor have I seen Bee Season, but I did watch Spellbound, the documentary. I was pleased to note last night that most of the kids in the top ten seemed like fairly normal kids, with other interests and activities. It makes me sad when kids are pushed so hard for so long in one direction, when there can only be one winner. The fact that any of those kids were there is a testament to their dedication. This contest is open to kids between the ages of 10-14 in all English speaking countries in the world. In the final round, the only country represented aside from the US was Canada, with a 14-year old girl who came in 2nd. I don't know what other countries were represented among the 279 kids who started the competition.

I think competition is healthy, as long as it doesn't consume the kids. Parents for the most part seemed supportive and thrilled for their children, regardless of where they placed. I tend to watch for the opposite.

In this world of email and IM abbreviations which manage to find their way into business correspondence, I can only think a focus on spelling is a good thing. Unfortunately, I don't believe the National Spelling Bee is making many adults actually use their dictionaries, if they even own one. More parents though, I bet, are spelling with their kids over breakfast.

But when a National Spelling Bee Champion from 1990 goes on National Prime Time TV and says "He did good," I believe we still have a long way to go.

Super De Dooper busy...

2006-05-05T17:29:00.000-04:00

Sorry for my silence. Promise to post more ASAP. I miss you all!
XOXO
R

AAAPUTRH* Workshop

2006-04-13T15:12:00.000-04:00

Sunday, 8 a.m.-3 p.m.
Ladies’ Bathroom
Admission $65 payable at the door of the bathroom

An intensive workshop for the semi-professional toilet roll changer. The workshop deals with all aspects of changing the toilet roll, both technically and emotionally. Breakfast and Lunch will be served.

Topics covered:

1) How to determine if the toilet roll needs changing. (what to do if there is only one sheet remaining on the roll)
2) Technical tasks required for changing the roll. (all types of holders will be discussed and breakout sessions will give practical training, including holders that pop and snap). How do I really know if the paper is supposed to go under or over? Is there a way to get this right the first time? How to avoid embarrassment if the roll falls off the holder while someone is in the next stall.
3) Is this in my job description? (a common problem, and how to solve it)
4) Passive aggressive non-changing of the roll. (is therapy needed?)
5) Should I discard the old cardboard tube or keep it for a Halloween costume or school project? (only parents of small children will be invited to participate in this session)
6) Where should the extra rolls be kept? This session will explore the complete nature of the problem—i.e. should the extra rolls have their own cabinet. Should they be in full view or hidden?
7) Emotional issues surrounding the act of changing. (i.e. feelings such as “I don’t wanna do it” may really mean “I don’t feel capable of doing this”)
8) How to develop the skills required to progress to the professional level of changing. How to become a Master Changer.
9) Upon becoming a Master Changer, how to deal with jealousy from others who are less capable changers.
10)How to encourage others to be supportive of your changing skills.

A certificate of competency from the AAAPUTRH will be provided for each workshop participant who successfully completes the course. A refresher course is provided annually, free of charge.

*American Association for the Appropriate and Proper Use of Toilet Roll Holders

©RF,2004

This was written by my mom and posted in the bathroom. I know I owe you a post but haven't managed to write one, so thought this might buy me a little time.

Today's fragrance: Bright, by Exult. Will review in my next post.

Music in Education

2006-04-04T10:01:00.000-04:00

Well, I seem to be on a roll now with soap box issues. I find it absolutely astounding that civilizations are defined by their culture and yet the minute a school finds itself in financial trouble, arts education is the first thing to go.

What do we know of the Greeks, Romans, Egyptians - or even more modern cultures - that doesn't consist primarily of its art? Music, Art, Architecture, Poetry, Writings...these are the things that define a people. These are the things that last. I defy you to find an exhibit of Roman pottery that isn't plastered with images of lyres, dancing, flutes. Images of musicians, stringed instruments are found in ancient Egyptian tombs.

Music has been around as long as there has been any record of human activity. Pictures of bows being used as musical instruments date back 70,000 years. Seventy. Thousand. Years. Music is used to heal. Music is used to celebrate, to mourn, to mark our life's events.

Imagine a world without music.

What movie is complete without music? Music has power - not just to soothe the savage breast, but to effect changes in cultural philosophy. Just ask Bob Dylan. How many slaves made it to freedom singing "Follow the Drinking Gourd?"

In Fulton County, Georgia the School Board has voted to cut instrumental music and foreign language from elementary schools. 400 teachers will lose their jobs. This is happening all over our country. I know of this particular instance because I have a nephew and two nieces who go to school there. The residents of Fulton County have a small window of opportunity - the budget will not be finalized until June. My brother has written a petition, to be presented to the Fulton County School Board before the vote. Please take a moment and sign it. You do not have to be a resident of Fulton County to believe that this is a grave mistake. Here is the home page with some basic information as well.

Where exactly do they think the High School orchestra will get its musicians?

I thank you in advance for your signature and for helping to spread the word.

Follow-up to Stephanie McMillian post

2006-03-28T15:30:00.000-05:00

Hi all, and thanks for your comments on the cartoon. Stephanie McMillan did indeed have a paypal button up to help defray the costs of increased bandwidth due to the incredible popularity of this particular cartoon. However, it seems she's all set on that now and has removed the button.

I would like to draw your attention to the fact that she is now auctioning off the original cartoon on ebay. The proceeds from this auction will be split equally between the following two places:

1) Planned Parenthood of Minnesota, North Dakota, South Dakota, and

2) Cangleska, Inc on behalf of The Oglala Sioux Tribe at Pine Ridge, South Dakota. Their President, Cecilia Fire Thunder, has recently confirmed that the planned project for a women's reproductive health clinic to be built on the Pine Ridge reservation is going ahead. It will be called Sacred Choices.

Donations can also be made to either organization. More information is on the ebay listing, as well as images of letters from the two organizations.

For more information, visit Stephanie's livejournal.

Thanks for reading!

Today's fragrance: Stella (by Stella McCartney) EDP. When I first tried this one I wrote it off as another pretty rose scent. Lovely, but nothing to write home about. Was I ever wrong. Maybe it's just Spring in the air, but I've been wearing this one a lot lately and I'm loving it. It's beautiful, not ovewhelming but with a definite presence. The more I wear it the more I find in there. Was that lemonade? Do I smell tea? It's surprisingly complex without seeming to be so. This may very well be a Spring HG!

From Neiman Marcus: • For the top notes, the rose essence fused with peony flower and drops of mandarin essence provide a seductive combination. • For the heart note, the rose absolute reveals a more intense facet.• For the base note, the mystery of amber creates an addictive sensation of sensuality.

Decisions, decisions...

2006-03-23T16:21:00.000-05:00

(Click to enlarge)

For more by Stephanie McMillan, click here.

Joke of the Day

2006-03-22T15:21:00.001-05:00

My 4-year old daughter was telling me jokes on the way to school this morning. I told her the Batman one:
How does Batman's mom call him to dinner?
DinnerdinnerdinnerdinnerdinnerdinnerdinnerdinnerBATMAN!

She told me a couple:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Her egg was on the other side.

And now, my favorite:

Why did the pterodactyl call for help?
It had a fire in its mouth.

Me: Oh, I'm glad I'm not that pterodactyl, that doesn't sound like fun at all.
Daughter: It was a *fire breathing* pterodactyl!
(yeah, she used the "duh" tone of voice too)

The Foot Thing

2006-03-13T10:40:00.000-05:00

I revealed in my last post that I have a "foot thing." I don't care much for feet in general - mine or anybody else's. And yet recently I have come into possession of a large collection of foot and stocking fetish porn DVDs. I promised that an explanation would be my next post, so here we are. (Some of you may have heard this story already.)

Around the holidays, I decided it would be fun to give a couple of porn videos, in addition to their regular gifts, to a couple I know. Strangely, although I have a line on sex toys, lotions, oils etc...I don't really know where to get good porn videos. I own a few. Bought a couple, a few came to live with me by various means...honestly, I own pretty much all the porn I need.

So I was surfing the net, looking for porn and I was lost in a sea of bad-looking porn. I asked a couple of people for recommendations on where to go and was looking around there when another friend returned my call. This is the friend I thought would have the best recommendations, since she kind of works in the industry. OK, not "kind of." She is webmistress for a large and well-known (in certain circles) porn site.

She says to me "Well, I'll look around here and see what we have - see if I can find some of the more mainstream stuff - and send it to you." "For your FRIEND," she says. LOL!

I figure, great! I'll stop looking around here, I'm sure she'll send something fun and I'll just concentrate on the other shopping I need to do. A few days later, a box arrives at my door. SEVENTEEN DVDs are inside. Titles? Several volumes of "Pantyhose Seduction," several volumes of "Stocking Tease" and several volumes of "Foot Seduction." This is what she means by mainstream?

What I didn't realize is that the circle in which this porn site is well known is the FETISH circle. I knew there was that element to the business she works for, but I didn't know that WAS the business.

A few days after this, I got another box with another dozen or so Foot/Stocking/Pantyhose DVDs. I have watched several. Some are completely bizarre, some are funny, some actually do have some good sex scenes. And now, most of my friends have their own mini fetish collections. Share the wealth, I say.

So no, I am not a fetishist, ESPECIALLY not a foot fetish. And sometimes the foot thing still freaks me out. And yet I now have a rather large collection of fetish porn. The irony of this has not escaped me.

Today's Fragrance: Ormonde Jayne Tolu. Mmmmmm...resiny tonka goodness. Have written about this one before, so am pasting in my comments from the Best of 2005 post: The first time I tried this one, I didn't love it but on retrying it, I fell madly in love and this was my staple fragrance all summer. However, it's also perfect for Winter and especially holiday parties. Tolu is hard to describe...think old-world library but not musty. Overstuffed chairs, comfort, lingering smell of incensey tobacco. Lush and comforting and definitely unique. It's that crazy resin. The resin combined with the slight edge from the sage keeps this from being too plush a fragrance, if that makes sense. I can sit on the overstuffed chairs without sinking in up to my neck. my neck.

Tagged!

2006-02-28T22:23:00.000-05:00

I have been tagged by a beautiful, erudite and endless supplier of lemmings. Who, you may ask? No, you're not asking, because you all know it's none other than Colombina. I have been charged with making a list of five weird habits or peculiarities and then I must challenge five other bloggers to do the same.

The problem is that we really don't usually recognize our own pecuiliarities and weird habits. So I took a cue from Colombina, who elicited help from her husband. Here's what my husband had to say:

DH: Well, you think you're always right.
Me: It's not a peculiarity when it's true - I *am* always right.

No help. I asked a couple of friends. The one answer I got from DH and both friends was "the foot thing." So without further ado, I give you my list of 5 weird habits or peculiarities:

1. The Foot Thing. OK, I don't really like feet. I have come to terms with them (mostly mine) as I have gotten older, but until recently nobody was allowed to touch my feet. In college, I had to put socks on before anybody was allowed into my room, because I didn't want anybody to see my feet. They're normal feet - no abnormalities or anything...I just didn't think they needed to be out there in the public domain. Interestingly, and through no fault of my own, I am now the proud owner of an extremely large collection of foot and stocking fetish porn movies - but that's anbother story entirely. How's that for irony?

2. I Floss. Not just like dental hygiene, I floss my teeth several times per day and keep flossers in my purse for flossing emergencies.

3. I Love Fragrance.

The bulk (but not entirety) of my collection.

OK, that one was no surprise to most of you...I have, um, a little perfume habit. I'm not stinky, not trying to cover anything up, I just love and appreciate the art of fragrance. I also smell all food before I take the first bite, but that may be more of an animal instinct kinda thing.

4. I am a night person, and I despise mornings. My husband will get up early to finish something, after going to bed when he's tired. I will stay up until 4 am to get it done, because I am useless in the morning and if I have to get up early to finish it, it doesn't get finished.

5. Clothing Issues. I have lots of casual clothing and quite a bit of formal attire, but very little in between. So a nice evening out usually finds me either overdressed or underdressed. I recognize this as a problem but have yet to do anything about it.

So. There you have my five. I officially charge five bloggers to reveal 5 weird habits or peculiarities about themselves: PFG of Do Not Enter The Tea Room; Kyahgirl of Mother Hen's Place; Katiedid of Seldom Nice Nowadays; Lupa of no one knows why the wolf laughs and Bela of Slap of the Day (please don't slap me, Bela!) Enjoy!

Today's fragrance: Les Parfums Rosine Rose d'Ete. This is a beautiful, ethereal yellow rose scent, perfect for a late Winter day, when you can feel Spring right around the corner, waiting to come and stay for a while. This is sunshine in a bottle. Notes: Head - Apple, galbanum, bergamot. Heart - Yellow rose, linden blossom, mimosa, lotus blossom. Base - Ambrette seed, musk. Thanks to LusciousCargo for the notes.

What would you do

2006-02-27T10:09:00.000-05:00

if you woke up at 4am and saw a gigantic scary black bug on the ceiling directly above your head?

1. Go back to sleep, hoping everything is find and have nightmares about gigantic scary black bugs dropping onto your face in your sleep. BUGS...ewwww.

2. Get out of your nice warm bed, go into the kitchen, get a glass and a piece of paper, go back into the bedroom, catch the gigantic scary black bug and release it into the 15-degree weather outside. I mean, I am a 21-st century woman, right? I can handle a bug.

3. Wake up your sleeping husband who spent all day Friday in the emergency room of the local hospital to rule out pneumonia...and make him get up and get rid of the gigantic scary black bug? Isn't that what we keep the men around for? Bug patrol?

4. Other (explain in your post)

What do you think *I* did?

Today's fragrance: Napa Valley Boheme. I really like this spicy floral oriental fragrance, only wish it had better lasting power. I sprayed it on generously less than two hours ago and I'm barely smelling it now. It definitely stays close to the skin, little or no sillage (waftiness). I personally like to waft. Listed notes are: Top notes of Bergamot, Lemon, Pepper, Rosewood, Neroli and Galbanum.
Mid notes of Rose Geranium, Orris, Lily, White Rose, Bulgarian Rose, Carnation, Grandiflorum Jasmine (Egyptian), Honey, Lilac and Clove Bud.
Base Notes of Tolu and Peru Blossom, Benzoin, Siam and Virginia Cedars, Amber, Sandalwood, Frankincense, Patchouli, Myrrh, Tobacco and Tree Moss.

That's a lot of ingredients, but it's a well-blended scent. The interesting thing about scents with a lot of ingredients is that they tend to shine differently on different people. It has a bit of an old-world feel, as if maybe it would have been popular with black & white movie starlets. I love galbanum in fragrances, but the top notes are fleeting. By the time it dries on my skin, we're into the middle range. Lovely rose and orris with a hefty dose of clove & carnation and a touch of sweetness from the honey. I also get a definite tobacco feel throughout. The drydown is a bit more woodsy/ambery - an earthy context for the spicy floral, which remains. Overall, I think this scent is a slightly dangerous old world glamour scent. Like a beautiful woman with a dark side. I only wish it lasted a bit longer.