Crazy Jay Blue

My Life as a Monty Python Skit

2007-12-03T20:51:00.000-05:00

This past weekend, while my parents were in Atlanta, I agreed to babysit their dog Kali. We’ve done this before; she’s good friends with our dog Luna and the girls love her. She’s an Australian Shepherd, just over a year old and full of energy. Also she pees 96 times a day. Our yard is not fenced, but the dogs know the boundaries and they don’t go into the neighbors’ yards or the street, so I just let them out the front door when they need to go and (when it’s cold) watch them from the door.

Friday night, I let them out around 11 pm and they went running off together, playing, and disappeared around the side of the house. After a minute or so, I started calling and I had to call them a few times before they both came tearing back towards into the front yard, Kali rubbing her face and body on the ground and rolling around. Then the smell hit me. It smelled like they’d unearthed a vat of toxic chemicals. My first thought was skunk, but I’ve never smelled skunk like that…it smelled like skunk, if the skunk was on fire. It was so strong I could taste it. I got the dogs in and the unholy stink filled the house. Skunk, I was sure of it then. Great. It’s 11 pm and I’m just in no position to deal with this. I threw them out on the screen porch, threw baby powder all over them (Don’t ask why; I thought maybe the powder would absorb the skunk oil) until I could figure out what to do with them. I would have left them there all night, but it was a cold night and supposed to get colder. I lit three candles and some incense, went into my bedroom and turned on a movie, trying to get the skunk taste out of my mouth. We decided we’d come up with a way to barricade the dogs in the kitchen for the night until I could go buy a truckload of tomato juice the next morning and deal with it. We knew the house would stink, but we couldn’t figure out any other option.

Half an hour into Fay Grimm, I hear a cry from the girls’ bedroom. We stop the movie and run in there. Ariela, who likes to sleep with her sister in the top bunk sometimes and chose to do so this evening, has sat up in bed, leaned over the top railing and was vomiting what seemed like gallons of vomit onto the floor. From 6 feet up in the air, she effectively repainted the entire room in vomit. I handed her a bucket (too late) and we got to work cleaning up the room to the best of our ability. We did the best we could, put down about a box of baking soda and some towels on the floor for the night, moved Dvorah into the guest room and went to barricade the kitchen.

Now it’s midnight, so I figure I’ll put the dogs out one last time before bed, hoping they’d maybe rub off a little more stink before coming into the house. Luna went out, did her thing and came in. Kali went out and when I called her in…I guess she could tell I was pretty unhappy, so she wouldn’t come into the house. Now I’m really unhappy, because it’s freezing cold outside, I’m in my nightclothes and bare feet and the damn dog won’t come in the house. Dvorah is still up now, and more dressed than me, so I made her get a coat on and she put on my shoes and went out to chase the dog around the yard, with me calling for the dog and pretending to be happy, so she won’t be too scared to come in. Finally we get the dog in (I’m furious now), barricade the two of them in the kitchen and go to bed. I’m awake every half hour, tasting skunk. I said to Stuart “My mouth hurts; I’m not really sure it’s skunk. I think we’ve been poisoned.” He laughed at me and told me to go back to sleep.

Next morning I wake up to Dvorah yelling “Daddy, Luna is throwing up!”

I think: Where do I find the next train to nowhere?

I discover online that tomato juice does not work on dogs, and find a mixture that supposedly does. I run out to buy a vat of hydrogen peroxide and baking soda. Come home, get Kali in the tub and discover that, not only does she really not like being in the tub, she’s terrified of running water and keeps trying to jump out of the tub, so I have to have one hand on her at all times, just to keep her there. I mix up the magic potion and begin applying it to her as she stands in the tub - tense, shaking, miserable and trying to jump out at every opportunity. The directions called for rubber gloves, but I figured I wouldn’t be able to really feel what I was doing if I was wearing gloves, so I was doing this with my bare hands. Halfway through, my hands start to burn. I ignore it, finish up, and set the timer for 10 minutes, which is how long the dog is supposed to sit with this mixture on. I’m still forcibly holding her in the tub and trying to console her (not working) and now keep her from shaking the stuff all over the bathroom. Finally the timer goes off, and now I have to rinse her off, but we’re still dealing with the terror of running water, so that makes the rinsing fun. Then once I’ve rinsed her off, I have to wash her again, this time with dog shampoo. Now my back is starting to ache from leaning over the tub at such a weird angle, holding Kali in the tub and using the other hand to lather and rinse. Finally I get her completely rinsed off and wonder, how on earth am I going to get her out of the tub and outside without her shaking all over the house? I wrap the freshly twice-cleaned dog in a towel and carry her outside. There, she shakes and shakes and shakes and then tries to dry herself on the ground. Which (of course) is muddy. I clean the mud off her the best I can, throw her on the screen porch to dry a little more, and bring Luna in so I can go through this entire process with her. Ask me if I wore gloves this time. Right. So after I carry Luna through the house in her towel (she’s a 50-pound dog) and then wipe the mud off of her and throw her on the screen porch, Ariela says to me “Mommy, look at your hands!” They’re covered in tiny red dots, all over. I wash them the best I can and put on a good hand cream and that seems to help.

Then I went out to by presents for a baby shower I was attending the next day, picked up a pizza, came home, got the kids dressed and we all went to see the Spanish Dance version of the Nutcracker (the nutcracker was a bullfighter and the rat king was a bull) and then returned my parents’ dog.

The solution seems to have mostly done the trick, although there are faint remnants of skunk still on my dog and Kali is a little worse, since she took the brunt of the hit (stupid dog) - but who cares; she's at my parents' house now. The house smells a lot better and my hands are OK. Ariela is feeling better; seems to have been just a case of the midnight vomits. The moral of the story is…there is no damn moral.

Well, according to Dvorah, the moral is this: If you see a black and white “dog” with a big fluffy tail, don’t ever stick your nose in its butt.

Get Glow

2007-10-16T12:19:00.000-04:00

Let’s talk about shampoo. I’ve always been a conditioner girl, myself. I have fairly thick, fairly long, wavy and often unruly hair. My whole life the shampoo has been to get the hair clean – you know, get out the twigs and leaves and stuff – and the conditioner has been where it’s at. This line of products has turned all that on its ear.

The first product I sampled from the Get Glow line was the Intense Hair Repair Nourishing Treatment (a conditioner, of course). More about that later, but suffice to say right now that I loved it so much I decided to test the rest of the line. What I found could not have surprised me more.

Moisturizing Shampoo:
I tried this one first. I decided this summer to make my hair a brighter and lighter red than ever before, which involved lightening my hair several shades. I have only done this a couple of times in my life, because normally it leaves my hair, although looking cool, feeling like hay. I like hay – hay is good. If you’re a horse. But I don’t want it on my head. So immediately after coloring, I went straight for the moisturizing shampoo (and the aforementioned Hair Repair Nourishing Treatment). My hair not only looked great, it felt great and continued to do so. Also, I don’t normally like the smell of mint, but in this shampoo, it really works and I love it. This shampoo is a miracle, I thought. Let’s check out the rest of the line.

Clarifying Shampoo:
Wow. I’m an every-other-day hair washer. Normally, by the end of day two, my hair really needs to be washed. I use this stuff and my hair just stays clean and clean and clean. I still wash it every other day, but (I have yet to test this theory) I feel like it would stay clean for a week. By the end of day two it still feels great. I expected this shampoo to be a little drying. My hair still feels healthy and clean and my scalp is definitely not greasy, but also not dry and itchy. This is the one I use most of all and I plan to never – EVER – live without it. Did I say never? Never.

Daily Shampoo:
This is the one I turn to least often, but only because my love for the other two is nearing obsession. I use this one on my kids a lot because it’s gentle, smells great and leaves their hair very clean and very shiny. If you haven’t damaged your hair or you like to wash it every single day…this is probably the shampoo for you.

One final note about the Get Glow shampoos: They are very concentrated. I don’t happen to think the price is all that outrageous - $16 for 8 ounces. But believe me when I tell you that an amount about the size of a dime is enough to get my entire head of hair very clean. This stuff lasts a long long time. Great bang for your buck.

Intense Hair Repair Nourishing Treatment:
First, I fell in love with the packaging. The tub, with the flower on it, the words around the outside – totally adorable. Sometimes I just like to look at it in my shower. Then I opened the jar. The smell is swoon-worthy. And anybody who knows me knows I’m all about the smell. If it works great but smells like crap I won’t use it. This stuff smells phemonenal. I’d love it in a body cream. Now, I did get a little confused about the instructions because it says to towel dry your hair, apply, wait 10 minutes, then rinse out. So I showered, got out of the shower, towel-dried my hair, put the stuff in, then got back in the shower 10 minutes later. My hair stylist sister said “Duh.” Apparently you’re supposed to bring a dry washcloth into the shower with you, get the worst of the water out, apply, then shave your legs, take care of all the other shower stuff until it’s time to rinse it out. This made the whole process much simpler for me. It was an “aha” moment. How does it work, you ask? My hair was shinier, healthier, smelled incredible and just felt like I could spend all day running my fingers through my own hair. Perfect for the soft-light, gentle-wind-blowing hair toss. Talk about Glow.

Light Gentle Silky Conditioner:
This one is not quite heavy enough for my hair. I really do need a heavy conditioner. But it’s chock full of vitamins, smells great and works perfectly on my two daughters, ages 6 & 9, who have straight hair – not exactly fine, but not super thick either. For them, it’s perfect. Gets the tangles out, leaves their hair soft and silky and looking fab. I don’t use it on them every day, but I made sure they used it on school picture day.

Light Reflector Frizz Eraser:
9-year old daughter: “Mommy, does your hair ever get frizzy?
Me: “Yes.”
Daughter: “What does it look like when it’s frizzy, like it looks right now?”

Thanks, kid.

What better time to test the frizz eraser? This stuff tames the frizzies, all right. And leaves a shine. It contains silica, which really adds a bit of sparkle. If you’re having a dull hair day, or just need to get the frizz under control, this stuff will take care of it. This is another product from this line that I will always have in my bathroom.

Ready, Set, Hold! Hair Spray:
I’m not much of a hair spray person. I’ve always hated the sticky feeling of it, and how by the end of the night my hair feels filthy, tacky and disgusting. So it was with some trepidation that I allowed my sister to spray it on my hair one night when I was getting ready to go out. No stickiness. No tackiness. No filth magnet. And it even smells good. My hair was not crunchy, but it retained its style. And it moved, looked natural and I could touch it. I still don’t wear hair spray very often, but when I really need that extra level of control, this is the one I use.

Thickening Spray for Body Volume Control:
This is the only product in the line that I haven’t tried, but I plan to get a friend to use it and post a review.

My final word on the Get Glow line: I spent three weeks in Canada this summer and, in the interest of conserving space, I just packed sample sizes of whatever hair products I had lying around. By the end of week one, I really noticed a difference and wished I had brought the Get Glow stuff with me, or that I could pick it up at the local store. This is a great new line, very word-of mouth right now, and I can’t wait until it’s in salons and stores all over the place. I’m completely hooked. Available at Essential Hair Shops in NYC, The MarioDiab Salon in NYC, Stellie's Salon in Brooklyn and at Essential TherapiesDaySpa in Bolton,MA and, of course, at http://www.getglow.com/

Today’s scent: Vivienne Westwood Boudoir. Reputed to smell like “women’s parts,” I don’t get that. I do get a real smouldering femininity. Lush, rich, deep, this fragrance starts from the base and works its way up. Sandalwood, vanilla, cinnamon and a touch of patchouli give a depth to the powdery floral orange blossom, hint of rose, coriander, marigold stuff on top. This is a somewhat old-fashioned fragrance in that it’s a little heavy and – I get a whiff of tobacco in there too. This is a Boudoir. It’s a hint of masculine pipe tobacco & shaving cream deftly mixed with expensive powder and floral perfumes. It’s moody, better in cooler weather (I can see it being on the cloying side in hot weather) and extremely well blended. It’s a masterpiece.

The Sun and the Moon

2007-06-06T11:09:00.000-04:00

For about four days earlier this week, I asked myself the following questions:

Why is my back so achey?
Why am I so hungry?
Why am I so tired?
Why do my boobs hurt? Maybe it’s cancer!

Then I woke up, got my period and thought “Ohhhhhh, well that explains it!”

The other night I watched a show about Chaco Canyon with my family. My husband and I had visited Pueblo Bonita at Chaco Canyon on our honeymoon road trip around the southwest, and it’s an incredible place, full of vibrant palpable spirituality and leaving us with more questions than answers. This enormous complex of buildings was clearly not used as living space, since it’s partly inhabitable (closed rooms & ceilings, no light or ventilation for fires) and there is little evidence of household garbage.

Since we were there over 12 years ago, apparently quite a bit of research has been done as to the purpose of the buildings, specifically with regard to its position in relation to the sun and the moon. Incredibly, the Chacoans, who seem to have been the ancestors of the Pueblo group of Native Americans, with no written language, seem to have built this structure with its main walls 100% perfectly aligned with the phases of the sun and the moon. They have walls and markings denoting both the Solstices and the Equinoxes, and have even marked the phases of the moon. The moon thing is even more incredible, since even though it completes its full to full cycle every 28 days, it is not completely in synch with the phases of the sun and it rises in a different part of the sky, with an EIGHTEEN YEAR cycle back to its original spot.

Further, not only is the great building at Chaco Canyon lined up just so, many other buildings in a 200-mile radius (not visible from one to the other except by air) are equally aligned.

A book I’m reading, “Stonehenge” by Bernard Cornwell is a bit of historical fiction, along the lines of “Clan of the Cave Bear” but in the book, Cornwell, through the epic story of three brothers, all sons of a great clan chief, details the building of temples to the sun god with precise engineering relating to the phases of the sun and the moon. It’s a very interesting theory and likely more true than we realize.

So here’s my question: If these “primitive” people, with no written language, can track the sun and the moon over such a long period of time, and accurately erect massive stone monuments which act in effect as giant sun dials…why is it that every single month, I wonder why my back aches and why I’m so tired? How can I get my period every single month (with the exception of a couple of pregnancies) for TWENTY FOUR YEARS, and still manage to surprise myself with it once a month?

I might have been a good sacrifice in the Chaco Canyon or Stonehenge days, but not good for much else.

Today’s fragrance: Molinard Habanita. A woman in line behind me at Quick Check, where I stopped to buy my coffee this morning, turned to me and said “Smells like something is burning, doesn’t it?” I think she meant me. But to hell with it, I smell damn good. Let me be burning baby powder. Perhaps the Sun God will accept this as my burnt offering.

Boyfriend criteria

2007-02-28T10:38:00.000-05:00

I was talking with my 8-year old daughter the other day about what criteria to look for in a potential boyfriend. We came up with the following:

1. He should be a boy. (Not that I'm being heavy-handed about determing heterosexuality here, she can choose what she wants. I just think a BOYfriend should be a boy.)
2. **He must be smart.
3. He must be kind. More than nice, kindness has global ramifications.
4. He must have a good sense of humor.
5. He must treat you well. (With kindness and humor.)
6. It helps if he's cute. Not required. (To this, she said "Daddy's cute." Indeed he is, I replied.)

Did I miss anything? My 5yo seems to have extremely high standards for boyfriends, as she tells me daily that this boy or that (there seem to be about 6 vying for her attention) in her Kindergarten class has told her she's his girlfriend. She says "But I told him I'm NOT his girlfriend."

Today's fragrance: Carthusia Fiori di Capri. Wild carnation, lily of the valley, amber, sandalwood, ylang-ylang, oak. This is an incredibly well-blended fragrance, and based on the notes, I shouldn't love it. Lily of the valley on me tends to be overly assertive yet girly, and carnation can be overwhelming too. I can only assume the "oak" here is oakmoss, but I may be wrong. I have no idea what oakmoss smells like, only that I seem to usually love fragrances that contain it. After falling head over heels for this one and buying a bottle, I realized that it is very reminiscent of a longtime love of mine - Ysatis de Givenchy. Whatever the reason, Fiori di Capri is the perfect choice for a day like today, when the snow has melted and the sun promises that Spring is on its way.

TAG, I'm it!

2007-02-08T12:02:00.000-05:00

OK, but first, a few things. Winterwheat...I am THIRTY SEVEN YEARS OLD. And so are you. :D

And last night's funny kid comment. We were watching the movie The Ant Bully. Basically there's a kid who stomps on the ants and messes with them all the time. So the ants decide to turn him into an ant so they can exact revenge on him. They shrink him, drag him down to the nest and the Ant Queen decides that he should learn to live like an ant before he is returned home. He's having a conversation with the ant wizard who asks:
"So...you humans all live and work together, like a giant colony?"
Kid: "No...it's more like every man for himself."

And my daughter D, age 8 chimes in: "And all the GIRLS work together."

Heh. That's my baby.

OK, on to the tag. I'm only 2 months late on this and I know the entire rest of the blogging world has already been there, done that, so I'm not tagging anybody back, but I will fulfill my mission of tagged-ness. Here goes:

Four jobs I have had:
1. Gaming Accountant in a Las Vegas casino
2. Waitress
3. Fish factory Processor in Alaska
4. Counter person at a Korean dry cleaner.

Movies I could watch over and over
1. Wayne's World
2. The Addams' Family
3. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
4. Smoke Signals

Four places I have lived apart from where I live now
1. Las Vegas, NV
2. On a boat in the middle of the Bering Sea - AK?
3. London, England
4. Waltham, MA

Four tv shows that I love
Honestly...I just don't watch TV. Sorry. It's not an ethical thing, I just don't have time and when I do, I usually watch a movie instead.

Four places I have been on holidays
1. Seattle, WA
2. San Diego, CA
3. New Mexico
4. Nova Scotia

Four websites I visit daily
1. Google
2. Makeupalley
3. MFAS
4. Wikipedia (well, not quite daily, but frequently)

Four favourite foods
1. Fettuccini Alfredo with Shrimp
2. Caesar Salad with Shrimp
3. Shrimp
4. Doritos (now banned from my house, except in those little lunch-size bags)

Four places I would rather be right now
1. Costa Rica
2. Home with the family having the kind of fun family day I always imagine but somehow it never quite works out that way. Need to work on soft-focusing my life a little.
3. San Diego
4. Oh, just anyplace warm and fun with people I love.

4 people I am tagging
As previously discussed...nobody.
Scent of the day: Caron Nocturnes. A beautiful rich floral, perfect for bringing a bit of sunshine into a bitterly cold day, but not overly summery. This is a Spring/Fall/Winter floral.

Happy Birthday to Me!

2007-01-16T15:06:00.000-05:00

Send presents!

I love presents.

I know, I know: I'm still tagged. Totally my nextest post. Just had to share the good news (my birthday, duh.)! Actually, now seems like a good time to unveil (so to speak) my epitaph, since I've instructed my family to begin using it now.

My birthday cake said "Happy Birthday, Queen of the Universe." My daughter made me a crown out of pipe cleaners and glass beads. My friend gave me a mirror that says "Queen of the Realm." See a theme here?

I hope so.

Call me.

2007-01-05T11:40:00.000-05:00

OK, I know I've been tagged by pfg, and I promise that will be my next post, but I just have to share this story with you.

A week or so ago, I got a phone call from a friend who had given her phone number to a guy at a party. They'd been talking, they hit it off, enjoyed each other's company and when he was making last-ditch flirty efforts with her at the end of the party, she just handed him her number. Then she got all freaked out. She'd never done such a thing, what if he didn't call, etc. I said look, either he'll call or he won't. If he doesn't, it's no different than if you hadn't given him your number. If he does, bonus! But she was just horrified with herself for taking that step and handing him her number, unasked. Incidentally, sexy man did call my friend and they have a date.

So last night, I went to pick up my 8yo daughter from her piano lesson and left my phone in the car. When I got back in the car, I saw that I had missed a call from a number I didn't recognize. I called the number back, explained to the woman who answered the phone who I was, and she said "Oh, hi, it's Alex's mom!" (not his real name)

Alex is a kid in my 5yo daughter's kindergarten class. He and my daughter are together all the time, they sit together at lunch, they choose each other for "Share the News" time pairings, etc. His mother and I have spoken a few times about how cute they are together. Alex is adorable and sweet. An excellent choice.

So she tells me that Alex came home from school yesterday with a note with a child's handwriting on it and a telephone number. The note was from my daughter. Alex asked if he could call her.

I put her on the phone for a bit and she talked to Alex, about what he'd done after school, etc and said "OK, see you tomorrow." and hung up.

And it occurred to me: She's light years ahead of the rest of us. My 5 year old has given her number (MY number) to a boy so he could call her. "For a playdate or something." So A) she'll never be in the position my friend is in, an adult wondering if giving her number to a man unasked makes her some kind of slutfreak. And B) as her mother...I'm in deep, deep doody.

Today's fragrance: Mitsouko EDP. Perfect for that unseasonably warm, rainy day.

Best of 2006!!!

2006-12-29T13:17:00.000-05:00

Hi, thanks for checking out my Top Ten of 2006! Here they are in no particular order, except for #1, which is earth-shattering & without a doubt the biggest discovery of this year. Of course, as always, my discoveries are heavy on the fragrance side of things. This is caused by two things: First, I am a fragrance addict, so why wouldn’t I be all about the fragrances? Second, although I smell amazing most of the time, I’m kind of a slob, most often found in jeans and t-shirts with no makeup on. So it only seems normal that very few of my beauty discoveries would be of the visual kind. Having said that, let's move on!

1. Montale Black Aoud. This dark fragrance, from the little-known company Montale, has captured my heart and imagination like no other in a long time. Interestingly, the first time I sniffed it, I thought, “Oh, this is interesting” and stuck it in the giant martini glass where samples go to live when they have potential but are not yet full-bottle-worthy. A few months later, I came across it again when I was trying to figure out what scent to wear to a schmancy event, to go with the fuchsia Indian outfit I was planning to wear. I re-tested it and it blew me away. I wore it that night and no fewer than THREE men fell in love with me that night. Well…love might be too strong a word, and one is already my husband…but let’s say the response from men was extremely positive. And unexpected: I’m not the kind of woman who walks around causing men to swoon, trust me on this. Since that night, I’ve worn it several times and always with the same results. This is my magic love elixir. One night a gay man propositioned me. Amazing stuff. I’m not really sure what’s in here, but it’s dark and mysterious. There’s aoud, clear enough. A bizarre, mediciney woodsy smell, which fades as the scent wears, but remains present. Other than that, there is an ingredient I can only think of as black rose. Definitely rose, definitely dark. Whatever it is, it is magical. Try some for yourself, but definitely try it first. Just because it’s MY magic elixir doesn’t mean the formula will work with you.

2. OK, that’s hard to follow, I know, so I’m going to take a totally different direction with #2. I had a coupon for Bath & Body Works: buy something for $10; get something up to $13 free. I was bound and determined to use this coupon. But, between you and me, I’m not really a huge fan of B&BW stuff. So it took me a while, wandering around and testing stuff, until I came across this little jar of Savannah Bee Company Beeswax Hand Cream. It was right there on the shelf with the Burts Bees stuff (I guess they just stick all bee-related products in the same corner). I tried it and, WOW! I don’t normally get excited about a hand cream, but this is thick and rich but soaks right in. It smells amazing, a little like peaches & cream, but not in that artificial way. And my hands have never been so soft.

3. Youth Dew Amber Nude by Tom Ford, for Estee Lauder. I’d never tried the original Amber Nude when I tested this, but I put this on and walked around the store for about 20 minutes. When, after 20 minutes, I was still intrigued by the way I smelled, I knew I had to have it. I have since tested the original Youth Dew and in my opinion, YDAN is original Youth Dew plus black rubber and band-aids. If this sounds gross, I say just test it first. It *IS* kinda gross, but in a good way. It’s edgy, it’s sexy, it’s just plain great. Well done, Tom Ford!

4. Le Baiser du Dragon by Cartier. This one really defies explanation (by me, anyway) but when I first got it, I wore it for a week straight. This is unheard of for me. The notes, per escentual.com are: Delicate, sweet top notes of bitter almond, neroli orange, and gardenia. Woody, powdery heart notes of iris, cedar, and musk. Earthy, sensual base notes of vetiver, patchouli, and benzoin. I think this one was created with more attention to the bottle than to the scent, but they hit home with me on the scent.

5. Caron Nocturnes. This seems to fall into a category of fragrances I love, namely big 80s florals. Think Ysatis, Divine, that kind of thing. Do NOT think Giorgio. Nocturnes is all personality, in a very feminine way. Per perfumebay, the notes: Top: Aldehydes, bergamot, mandarin, greens. Middle: Rose, jasmine, ylang-ylang, tuberose, stephanotis, lily of the valley, orris, cyclamen. Base: Vanilla, amber, musk, sandalwood, vetiver, benzoin.

6. False eyelashes. Don't laugh. I’m not really good at them yet, but most of my adult life I’ve considered myself eyelash-challenged and these seem to be just the ticket. I did wear a big full set of rhinestone-encrusted ones to my sister’s Christmas Eve party and I got tons of compliments on them. But I never realized how much work blinking could be! I am working on mastering the art of the little eyelash clusters, and will report back.

7. Essence of Vali Massage & Bath Oil: Relief. As part of a Sniffapalooza event, I attended a presentation at Spa Ja in NYC. The presentations were amuzing, culminating with a woman telling us how the PATCHully can cure the Cancer, but it also makes de dogs very excited. Anyway, I bought this oil to massage on my husband who has a painful shoulder and I’m considering buying a case of it. I’ve used it on my temples for headaches, my lower back when feeling crampy, his shoulder a million times…it really works. I’m such a skeptic, but this stuff works.

8. Mitsouko EDP. For years I’ve tested this one and never understood what all the hoopla was about. I love chypres, I should love Mitsouko. But I just didn’t get it! I liked it, but I didn’t love it. Until one day, I put it on and BAM, right between the eyes it hit me. Remember those 3-D pictures that were so popular in the 80s? I thought they were a big hoax like the emperor’s new clothes. I didn’t believe anybody could see anything. Then one day, I aligned my eyes just so and the picture popped right out. That’s what happened with Mitsouko. This is a perfume of incomparable beauty and haunting loveliness, perfect for those cold, clear days or a walk on the moor.

9. Estee Lauder Double Wear Foundation. I’ve always thought the $6 stuff was just as good…but it really isn’t. Damn Estee Lauder for that free sample and letting me see what life could be like with a really good foundation. My sample ran out last night and as soon as I’m done typing here, I’m off to buy a $30-something bottle of foundation. To some of you that may not seem like a lot, and I know I’ve bought bottles of perfume that cost WAY more than that, it’s just an adjustment in attitude is all. This is the new me in 2007: Well-foundationed.

10. Narciso Rodriguez Musc Oil. This is a scent I became intimate with when my father was going through chemotherapy and couldn’t tolerate most scents. I wore NR Musc Oil just to scent my own personal space for a few days and then worked up the courage to ask if it was bothering him. On the contrary, he found it quite pleasant. So, NR Musc Oil it was, for several weeks. I really grew to love and respect thus subtle skin scent. Plus…it’s kind of sexy.

Thank you for reading my blog, as I will enjoy reading all of yours. Best wishes for a beautiful and fragrant 2007! Please be sure to check out all the other lovely bloggers participating and sharing their best of 2006, as we move into a new and exciting year. May your New Year be full of love and joy!

Beauty Blogging Junkie

Beauty by Nadine

Beautiful Makeup Search & Beauty Blog

Brain Trapped in Girl's Body

Koneko's *Mostly* Beauty Diary!

No one knows why the wolf laughs

Now Smell This

Perfume Smellin' Things

Peppermint Patty's Perfume Posse

Platinum Blonde Life

Product Girl

Scentzilla!

She'll Be Feverish After So Much Thinking

Slap of the Day

The Customer Is Always Right

The Daily Obsession

The Great She Elephant

The Life of a Ladybug

The Non-Blonde

Urbane Girl

Victoria's Own

Why I married Jesus

2006-10-13T10:22:00.000-04:00

"Dating wasn't working."

http://www.kentucky.com/mld/kentucky/15707318.htm

http://www.wistv.com/Global/story.asp?S=5511073

I own over fifty vibrators.

2006-10-09T22:31:00.000-04:00

Sometimes the headline is really much more interesting than the story.

"I spent a night in jail in Las Vegas." That sounds like a great story! Till you find out it was because of a broken headlight I got a ticket for. I repaired the headlight and forgot about the ticket and a bench warrant was issued for me. Of course, the LVPD boy who was lucky enough to Bring Me In (I'm not Dillinger!) practically sang Bad boys bad boys, whatcha gonna do? to me in the car on the way to the jail. In handcuffs.

To make the story fun, at that time I was engaged to a man who had spent many years in a motorcycle club, worked as a bouncer in a bar, the whole stereotype. HE had never been arrested. HE had no tattoos. So he meets this nice, jewish girl from NJ who has a tattoo, has done more drugs than he ever did and ends up in Las Vegas City Jail on the ONE night his cousin is in town. The one he hasn't seen since his family left the cattle ranch back in Montana many, many years ago.

So there I am in jail, using my free phone calls (they're unlimited in LV City jail!) to call him every 10 minutes and beg him to come "bail me out." That's what they do in the movies, right? Somebdy gets arrested, somebody comes to bail them out. So he blows off the cousin to go bail out his "friend" in jail and when he gets there they say "She hasn't even been booked yet."

WHAT?!?! I'm sitting on the floor (cause all the benches are taken up by the mean girls) of the holding tank with hookers, a woman who has just stabbed her mother in law (also her cousin or something) over a crack deal, women so whacked out on drugs they're out of their minds, one who was in there for a DUI and there's me - the big headlight offender. Crying. And it was FREEZING in there! Seriously so cold it was hard to move. Which was exactly their point. Heat it up a little and da bitches is fighting. No, keep us on ice. We're calmer that way.

So a take-no-prisoners kinda cowgirl, the type you just know lives on her ranch with a bunch of guns and takes no crap from nobody, who is in there on a similar charge to mine, kinda takes me under her wing. She's not afraid of the crackheads or murderers, she shoves one woman in a heroin nod over to the side and makes room for me on the bench.

If she had kissed me, I might just have kissed her back. I'm in jail for a half hour and I'm some woman's bitch. Fortunately, she wasn't about that, she just had that cowgirl sense of right and wrong and thought I should have a seat. And she was nice and called me "honey."

Finally, at about 2 am (I'd been pulled over on the way to dinner, around 5 pm) I met with some judicial kinda person who said I would be R.O.R. Released on my Own Recognizance. Just some paperwork to get through. They'd let me know when I should call my fiance for the 837th time.

On my little trip through the jailhouse, I noticed the men had TWO holding tanks. One for felonies, one for misdemeanors. So the little boys who are in jail cause they forgot to take care of a headlight ticket are not sitting in jail with murderers. So what is up with throwing all the women together? I still haven't quite figured that one out.

I was released at 7am. I had exactly enough time to get home, take a quick shower, put my clothes on and get to work. What was I going to do, call in "arrested?"

Incredibly, my biker/bouncer/cowboy fiance married me anyway. We've been married eleven years as of yesterday. Sometimes good boys just like us bad girls.

Today's fragrance: a beautiful oil blend brought back from Morocco for me by a friend who probably wouldn't have done that if she knew of my checkered past. I don't remember what's in it - rose and some other stuff - but it doesn't matter all that much cause you can't get it anywhere. So there.

PS - Vibrators and Dead Milkmen fall into the same category. The headline is better than the story. Trust me.

Trapped in the middle of fuck-all with the Dead Milkmen

2006-10-05T00:53:00.000-04:00

Really...that about covers it, doesn't it? Seemed like a good idea at the time.

Happy birthday to my friend Writerchick!

This evening's fragrance: Montale Black Oud. Perfect for an orange and red shirt, red lipstick and Bon Jovi at Karaoke night. Not to mention the magic tricks guy who started out dorky but got cuter the more tricks he did.

Sorry for my silence!

2006-09-29T15:32:00.000-04:00

This is always my busiest time - I haven't even had a chance to READ any of my favorite blogs lately, or update my links. All this housekeeping. I promise I'll get to it soon. In the meantime, I leave you with the words of my daughter:

5yo ran into the kitchen, yelled something mostly unintelligible at my husband and left.

8yo looked up from doing her homework. "Smile and nod, Daddy. Just smile and nod. That's what mommy told me."

Thanks for your patience. I promise to be with you soon.

Some good kid quotes

2006-07-29T15:53:00.000-04:00

My 8-year old daughter, D, is about to start a 2-week day camp for "Creative Drama." Sounds like a good program. So I said to her yesterday, "Drama camp starts on Monday. You'd better start practicing being a drama queen."

D: "Um, I don't think I really need to practice."

Me: "Think they'll let you wear your crown?"

The other day, my 5-year old daughter, A, and I were in the car and we were doing some math problems. I gave her one and she figured it out and I said "Wow, great work! You did that without a pencil and paper!"

A: "The pencil and paper are made out of...brain stuff."

And this one might be a repeat from last summer, but it's been requested by WriterChick.

Last summer, A, then 4 years old, was playing with the magnetic poetry kit on my parents' refrigerator. She couldn't read, so she just strung a bunch of words together and made me read it to her. The last three words were "I. P. Yonder."

This amused her greatly and she made me read it to her repeatedly, always cracking up at the last words: I. P. Yonder. Later, we were in the car and out of nowhere she said "Yonder is just a Spanish word for: over dere."

I realize my fragrance of the day has been horribly neglected, (as has my blog in general) so I am hereby reinstating it.

Fragrance of the day: Robert Piguet Bandit. Bandit was introduced on the runway in 1944 during World War II with models brandishing pistols. Bandit is a floral chypre. Top notes: Neroli, Orange Essence, Ylang-Ylang, Artemisia, Galbanum, Bergamot Heart notes: Jasmine, Tuberose, Orris, Rose, Carnation, Leather Base notes: Mousse de Chene, Castoreum, Patchouli, Vetiver, Myrrh, Musk (thanks to Luscious Cargo for the notes). This is truly a take no prisoners scent. It's strong, ballsy, very distinctive with a leathery mossy feel and it's the one I wear when I'm feeling especially fab and on top of the world. OR when I'm feeling especially bitchy. I'll let you figure out which one is me today.

"Let's Go Camping!"

2006-07-24T12:35:00.000-04:00

These were the brilliant words spoken by me recently, when planning a mini family getaway. We had to pick up our 8-year old daughter from her two weeks at sleepaway camp, two hours away. My husband suggested we (we being me, my husband and our 5-year old daughter) find a place nearby to spend a night, explore the area a little. I said "camping."

I went to Triple A, got the Campbook, found a state park, made reservations. State parks apparently don't make Saturday-only reservations so we decided to go up the night before, spend Friday night, pick up our daughter Saturday morning and spend Saturday night as well.

I reserved a campsite with no site on one side of us, partly shaded and...oh, did I mention we brought the dog? Yeah. So we had a "Pets allowed" site. But there were two lakes in this park, a beach, you could rent boats, they even had activities for kids throughout the day! We brought bathing suits.

We were worried about space, since we had all our camping stuff PLUS our daughter's 2 bags, laundry basket, pillow & sleeping bag from camp when we picked her up. In an attempt at packing light, we decided to bag the foamy things we use under the sleeping bags on the floor of the tent. We figured we'd be fine.

So we get to the site Friday evening, with about 2 hours of daylight to go. We looked for a place to put the tent among the rocks, rocks and...rocks. Found a relatively flat space with only SMALL rocks, put down the ground cover and pulled out the tent. The wrong tent. We had left home the 3-room tent which sleeps 6 comfortably and brought the 4-person tent, which everybody knows sleeps maybe 3 people comfortably. Whatever, we thought. We'll make it work. I ran out to buy wood, came back with a trunk full of damp wood and we finally managed to get a very smoky fire going. We cooked hot dogs, baked beans and ate some of the yummy fruits and veggies I had lovingly prepared ahead of time.

NB: Soy hot dogs bubble in a creepy way when cooked over an open fire.

Luna (our dog) spent a lot of time running around, looking for critters and meeting all the other dogs in nearby campsites. We finally tied her up at our site; we got tired of running after her. She's very friendly but a little too enthusiastic sometimes. She drank a lot of water but absolutely refused to touch the leftover veggie baked beans we poured over her food.

Oh, and the mosquitos - GOOD GOD, the mosquitos! They were everywhere, swarming. They seemed to like all THREE of the bug sprays we brought with us. Or if they didn't like them, the spray sure didn't slow them down any. In no time, we were all covered with bites.

We went to use the bathroom which was unspeakably horrible. No light, no running water, no flushing, lots of creepy bugs...you get the picture. We filled an empty water jug with some rusty wet stuff (I hesitate to call it water) and washed our faces and brushed our teeth at the camp site. Got in the tent and I thought - there is no way in hell I'm going to get any sleep tonight.

Every time a dog barked, Luna wanted to respond. She was in the tent with us. The ground was - literally - rock hard. Not only hard, but I had to position myself in a way that my hip avoided this rock, that little rock went between a couple of ribs and avoid - at all costs - the boob crusher. It was hot, so we were all on top of our sleeping bags, thankful for that extra layer of cushioning.

Some time around midnight (I'm guessing) it started to rain. The rain didn't stop the other dogs from barking and making Luna jump up every time a car drove past or a dog made a noise, but we finally got her settled in. Our 5-year old is terrified of thunder, so we had to console her a lot. Plus, in our surprise at the SMALLNESS of the tent we had brought, we neglected to properly fit the ground cover under the tent.

So it sat out at least 6 inches all around the tent, collected every drop of rain from above or the fly of the tent and ran it right underneath our tent. I woke up after one particularly good span of maybe 2 minutes' sleep to the dog lapping up a puddle right next to my ear. I shoved her head out of the way, making her move over to my husband's side of the tent where he woke up being dripped on by the dog. "That dog is PEEING on me!" he shouted. "No, she's just wet from the puddles in here," I informed him.

So went the rest of the night. Dogs barked, cars drove by, some asshole I swear was setting off firecrackers, dog continued lapping up puddles or just licking herself (This now ranks way up there on my list of most annoying sounds - ever).

Finally the rain stopped, the sun came up and we got out of the tent. We were wet, the sleeping bags and pillows were wet, the dog was wet, the wood was wet. We ate rolls with hard-boiled eggs for breakfast and went to pick up our daugher from camp. We managed to find a bathroom with toilets that flush and running water. Things were looking up.

The pickup went fine, the sun was shining, the bugs were happy. Really damn happy. We got back to the camp, wondering how we were all going to fit in this 4-person tent, now wet, with the dog and if the wood would dry out enough for us to make a fire. Despite the problems of the night before, we were determined to make it work. We pulled into the campsite and the skies opened up again, dumping tons of rain on us. We sat in the car for an hour and ate peanut butter sandwiches.

When it slowed down to just a torrential downpour, I decided I'd had enough of breathing everybody else's breath in the car (we couldn't open the windows with the rain and the bugs) , said to my hisband "I'm in Hell" and went to go sit in the tent for a bit. Thought maybe I'd figure out how we'd manage the rest of our stay.

By now though, the fly of the tent had completely given up, so not only was the floor of the tent and everything in it soaked, I sat in the tent being dripped on from above. My daughters came to sit with me in the tent and we ate some granola bars and looked around. I said to my 8-year old "Go tell Daddy we're leaving."

It took us about an hour or so to jam everything back into the car and hit the road.

Earlier today my husband said to me "We'll have some time at the end of August, we should think about getting away somewhere." I said "Wanna go camping?"

Tagged: 20 answers all about me.

2006-06-05T10:22:00.000-04:00

OK, this is what I found in my comments section this morning and, being the good girl that I am, I feel obligated to play along. Been off the blog for a while though, not sure if I can come up with 4 people who will want to play with me, unless I tag pfg back, since I don't see that she actually did this one...

Yeeeha, back to the blog! Come on...you know you want to. Copy and paste the questions. Delete my answers. Delete question #1 and shift all of the remaining 19 questions up one space. Add your own 20th question, then answer all 20 questions. Pass it on to 4 other people.

1) Do you remember playing 45s? Yes.

2) What is the worst band you ever liked? Probably some hokey Country stuff. I have liked lots of bad bands in my time, nothing specific comes to mind. There was Rico Suave...

3) Have you ever done the macarena? Yes I have. Not only that, I enjoyed it.

4) Are there books/magazines are currently in your bathroom? (if yes, what?) Usually just whatever books the kids leave in there. I'm not really a bathroom reader.

5) Have you ever done one of those embarrassing group dances at weddings? Yes. At my own, even. I have lovely video of the chicken dance and my sister popping the top button off her bridesmaid dress, since the poor dress was no match for her huge breasts plus the chicken dance.

6) Coffee or tea? Both, but usually coffee. If tea, then it must be black tea (don't give me that herbal stuff) with milk and sweetener.

7) Whip or no whip? Heh.

8) Did you ever have an imaginary friend and if so, what was he/she/it named? No.

9) Do you know how to perform the Heimlich Maneuver? In theory, but I've never had to use it.

10) Do you still celebrate your birthday? A day all about me? Absolutely.

11) Do you or have you ever cross dressed? (women in overalls and men in kilts don’t count) No, I'm just generally a jeans & t-shirts kind of slob.

12) What is the worst food you ever ate? Probably something I cooked. Worst in theory was when on tour with an orchestra in Europe and in Austria they served us some soup which was actually really good until I got to the pigs' knuckles at the bottom.

13) How old were you when you had your first real kiss? Twelve. Jonathan Blanc. Summer camp.

14) Have you had your 15 minutes of fame? I've had snippets here and there, but I like to think I'm still waiting for my full 15. Let it be for a good reason...

15) What is the longest you ever went without sleep for? Three days, two nights. I started auditory hallucinations: Vivaldi's Four Seasons.

16) If your hair could be any color, what would it be? I'd probably change it daily, but I kind of like the rich auburn color it is now.

17) What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Edy's French Silk.

18) Wax, bleach, pluck, or shave? Yes.

19) If you were a super hero, what would your power be? This is one I ponder often, actually. Today I think I'd be Flame Thrower Woman. But maybe my power would be the ability to change my power whenever I wanted to.

20) What is your favorite smell? The way the air smells on that first Spring-like day after a long cold Winter. There's nothing like it.

The National Spelling Bee

2006-06-02T10:29:00.000-04:00

Yay, girls! Yay New Jersey!

I'm a geek. I watched the National Spelling Bee last night with my husband, and we kept our two daughters, ages 5 & 8, up until after 10 watching with us.

I cried for almost every kid who was knocked out. I got most of the words wrong, unless they were French or Italian in origin, had anything to do with music or Turkish rugs. I might have known a perfume word or two as well, but didn't hear a single one.

After one kid spelled his word wrong and was sent to go sit with his parents, the announcers were talking about what a great job he had done - I think he was somewhere in the top 10 or 11 spellers. The man I can only describe as the "color announcer," who apparently won the National Spelling Bee in 1990, said "Yeah, he did good."

My eight year old daughter turned to me and said "'He did GOOD?!?!'" I said, yeah, that's what I heard him say. She said "They should have a grammar bee."

I'm not sure what's behind the sudden focus on spelling bees in this country. A rash of movies and documentaries made this the first National Spelling Bee with Prime Time coverage in all its 79 years. I have not yet seen Akeelah and the Bee, nor have I seen Bee Season, but I did watch Spellbound, the documentary. I was pleased to note last night that most of the kids in the top ten seemed like fairly normal kids, with other interests and activities. It makes me sad when kids are pushed so hard for so long in one direction, when there can only be one winner. The fact that any of those kids were there is a testament to their dedication. This contest is open to kids between the ages of 10-14 in all English speaking countries in the world. In the final round, the only country represented aside from the US was Canada, with a 14-year old girl who came in 2nd. I don't know what other countries were represented among the 279 kids who started the competition.

I think competition is healthy, as long as it doesn't consume the kids. Parents for the most part seemed supportive and thrilled for their children, regardless of where they placed. I tend to watch for the opposite.

In this world of email and IM abbreviations which manage to find their way into business correspondence, I can only think a focus on spelling is a good thing. Unfortunately, I don't believe the National Spelling Bee is making many adults actually use their dictionaries, if they even own one. More parents though, I bet, are spelling with their kids over breakfast.

But when a National Spelling Bee Champion from 1990 goes on National Prime Time TV and says "He did good," I believe we still have a long way to go.

Super De Dooper busy...

2006-05-05T17:29:00.000-04:00

Sorry for my silence. Promise to post more ASAP. I miss you all!
XOXO
R

AAAPUTRH* Workshop

2006-04-13T15:12:00.000-04:00

Sunday, 8 a.m.-3 p.m.
Ladies’ Bathroom
Admission $65 payable at the door of the bathroom

An intensive workshop for the semi-professional toilet roll changer. The workshop deals with all aspects of changing the toilet roll, both technically and emotionally. Breakfast and Lunch will be served.

Topics covered:

1) How to determine if the toilet roll needs changing. (what to do if there is only one sheet remaining on the roll)
2) Technical tasks required for changing the roll. (all types of holders will be discussed and breakout sessions will give practical training, including holders that pop and snap). How do I really know if the paper is supposed to go under or over? Is there a way to get this right the first time? How to avoid embarrassment if the roll falls off the holder while someone is in the next stall.
3) Is this in my job description? (a common problem, and how to solve it)
4) Passive aggressive non-changing of the roll. (is therapy needed?)
5) Should I discard the old cardboard tube or keep it for a Halloween costume or school project? (only parents of small children will be invited to participate in this session)
6) Where should the extra rolls be kept? This session will explore the complete nature of the problem—i.e. should the extra rolls have their own cabinet. Should they be in full view or hidden?
7) Emotional issues surrounding the act of changing. (i.e. feelings such as “I don’t wanna do it” may really mean “I don’t feel capable of doing this”)
8) How to develop the skills required to progress to the professional level of changing. How to become a Master Changer.
9) Upon becoming a Master Changer, how to deal with jealousy from others who are less capable changers.
10)How to encourage others to be supportive of your changing skills.

A certificate of competency from the AAAPUTRH will be provided for each workshop participant who successfully completes the course. A refresher course is provided annually, free of charge.

*American Association for the Appropriate and Proper Use of Toilet Roll Holders

©RF,2004

This was written by my mom and posted in the bathroom. I know I owe you a post but haven't managed to write one, so thought this might buy me a little time.

Today's fragrance: Bright, by Exult. Will review in my next post.

Music in Education

2006-04-04T10:01:00.000-04:00

Well, I seem to be on a roll now with soap box issues. I find it absolutely astounding that civilizations are defined by their culture and yet the minute a school finds itself in financial trouble, arts education is the first thing to go.

What do we know of the Greeks, Romans, Egyptians - or even more modern cultures - that doesn't consist primarily of its art? Music, Art, Architecture, Poetry, Writings...these are the things that define a people. These are the things that last. I defy you to find an exhibit of Roman pottery that isn't plastered with images of lyres, dancing, flutes. Images of musicians, stringed instruments are found in ancient Egyptian tombs.

Music has been around as long as there has been any record of human activity. Pictures of bows being used as musical instruments date back 70,000 years. Seventy. Thousand. Years. Music is used to heal. Music is used to celebrate, to mourn, to mark our life's events.

Imagine a world without music.

What movie is complete without music? Music has power - not just to soothe the savage breast, but to effect changes in cultural philosophy. Just ask Bob Dylan. How many slaves made it to freedom singing "Follow the Drinking Gourd?"

In Fulton County, Georgia the School Board has voted to cut instrumental music and foreign language from elementary schools. 400 teachers will lose their jobs. This is happening all over our country. I know of this particular instance because I have a nephew and two nieces who go to school there. The residents of Fulton County have a small window of opportunity - the budget will not be finalized until June. My brother has written a petition, to be presented to the Fulton County School Board before the vote. Please take a moment and sign it. You do not have to be a resident of Fulton County to believe that this is a grave mistake. Here is the home page with some basic information as well.

Where exactly do they think the High School orchestra will get its musicians?

I thank you in advance for your signature and for helping to spread the word.

Follow-up to Stephanie McMillian post

2006-03-28T15:30:00.000-05:00

Hi all, and thanks for your comments on the cartoon. Stephanie McMillan did indeed have a paypal button up to help defray the costs of increased bandwidth due to the incredible popularity of this particular cartoon. However, it seems she's all set on that now and has removed the button.

I would like to draw your attention to the fact that she is now auctioning off the original cartoon on ebay. The proceeds from this auction will be split equally between the following two places:

1) Planned Parenthood of Minnesota, North Dakota, South Dakota, and

2) Cangleska, Inc on behalf of The Oglala Sioux Tribe at Pine Ridge, South Dakota. Their President, Cecilia Fire Thunder, has recently confirmed that the planned project for a women's reproductive health clinic to be built on the Pine Ridge reservation is going ahead. It will be called Sacred Choices.

Donations can also be made to either organization. More information is on the ebay listing, as well as images of letters from the two organizations.

For more information, visit Stephanie's livejournal.

Thanks for reading!

Today's fragrance: Stella (by Stella McCartney) EDP. When I first tried this one I wrote it off as another pretty rose scent. Lovely, but nothing to write home about. Was I ever wrong. Maybe it's just Spring in the air, but I've been wearing this one a lot lately and I'm loving it. It's beautiful, not ovewhelming but with a definite presence. The more I wear it the more I find in there. Was that lemonade? Do I smell tea? It's surprisingly complex without seeming to be so. This may very well be a Spring HG!

From Neiman Marcus: • For the top notes, the rose essence fused with peony flower and drops of mandarin essence provide a seductive combination. • For the heart note, the rose absolute reveals a more intense facet.• For the base note, the mystery of amber creates an addictive sensation of sensuality.

Decisions, decisions...

2006-03-23T16:21:00.000-05:00

(Click to enlarge)

For more by Stephanie McMillan, click here.

Joke of the Day

2006-03-22T15:21:00.001-05:00

My 4-year old daughter was telling me jokes on the way to school this morning. I told her the Batman one:
How does Batman's mom call him to dinner?
DinnerdinnerdinnerdinnerdinnerdinnerdinnerdinnerBATMAN!

She told me a couple:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Her egg was on the other side.

And now, my favorite:

Why did the pterodactyl call for help?
It had a fire in its mouth.

Me: Oh, I'm glad I'm not that pterodactyl, that doesn't sound like fun at all.
Daughter: It was a *fire breathing* pterodactyl!
(yeah, she used the "duh" tone of voice too)

The Foot Thing

2006-03-13T10:40:00.000-05:00

I revealed in my last post that I have a "foot thing." I don't care much for feet in general - mine or anybody else's. And yet recently I have come into possession of a large collection of foot and stocking fetish porn DVDs. I promised that an explanation would be my next post, so here we are. (Some of you may have heard this story already.)

Around the holidays, I decided it would be fun to give a couple of porn videos, in addition to their regular gifts, to a couple I know. Strangely, although I have a line on sex toys, lotions, oils etc...I don't really know where to get good porn videos. I own a few. Bought a couple, a few came to live with me by various means...honestly, I own pretty much all the porn I need.

So I was surfing the net, looking for porn and I was lost in a sea of bad-looking porn. I asked a couple of people for recommendations on where to go and was looking around there when another friend returned my call. This is the friend I thought would have the best recommendations, since she kind of works in the industry. OK, not "kind of." She is webmistress for a large and well-known (in certain circles) porn site.

She says to me "Well, I'll look around here and see what we have - see if I can find some of the more mainstream stuff - and send it to you." "For your FRIEND," she says. LOL!

I figure, great! I'll stop looking around here, I'm sure she'll send something fun and I'll just concentrate on the other shopping I need to do. A few days later, a box arrives at my door. SEVENTEEN DVDs are inside. Titles? Several volumes of "Pantyhose Seduction," several volumes of "Stocking Tease" and several volumes of "Foot Seduction." This is what she means by mainstream?

What I didn't realize is that the circle in which this porn site is well known is the FETISH circle. I knew there was that element to the business she works for, but I didn't know that WAS the business.

A few days after this, I got another box with another dozen or so Foot/Stocking/Pantyhose DVDs. I have watched several. Some are completely bizarre, some are funny, some actually do have some good sex scenes. And now, most of my friends have their own mini fetish collections. Share the wealth, I say.

So no, I am not a fetishist, ESPECIALLY not a foot fetish. And sometimes the foot thing still freaks me out. And yet I now have a rather large collection of fetish porn. The irony of this has not escaped me.

Today's Fragrance: Ormonde Jayne Tolu. Mmmmmm...resiny tonka goodness. Have written about this one before, so am pasting in my comments from the Best of 2005 post: The first time I tried this one, I didn't love it but on retrying it, I fell madly in love and this was my staple fragrance all summer. However, it's also perfect for Winter and especially holiday parties. Tolu is hard to describe...think old-world library but not musty. Overstuffed chairs, comfort, lingering smell of incensey tobacco. Lush and comforting and definitely unique. It's that crazy resin. The resin combined with the slight edge from the sage keeps this from being too plush a fragrance, if that makes sense. I can sit on the overstuffed chairs without sinking in up to my neck. my neck.

Tagged!

2006-02-28T22:23:00.000-05:00

I have been tagged by a beautiful, erudite and endless supplier of lemmings. Who, you may ask? No, you're not asking, because you all know it's none other than Colombina. I have been charged with making a list of five weird habits or peculiarities and then I must challenge five other bloggers to do the same.

The problem is that we really don't usually recognize our own pecuiliarities and weird habits. So I took a cue from Colombina, who elicited help from her husband. Here's what my husband had to say:

DH: Well, you think you're always right.
Me: It's not a peculiarity when it's true - I *am* always right.

No help. I asked a couple of friends. The one answer I got from DH and both friends was "the foot thing." So without further ado, I give you my list of 5 weird habits or peculiarities:

1. The Foot Thing. OK, I don't really like feet. I have come to terms with them (mostly mine) as I have gotten older, but until recently nobody was allowed to touch my feet. In college, I had to put socks on before anybody was allowed into my room, because I didn't want anybody to see my feet. They're normal feet - no abnormalities or anything...I just didn't think they needed to be out there in the public domain. Interestingly, and through no fault of my own, I am now the proud owner of an extremely large collection of foot and stocking fetish porn movies - but that's anbother story entirely. How's that for irony?

2. I Floss. Not just like dental hygiene, I floss my teeth several times per day and keep flossers in my purse for flossing emergencies.

3. I Love Fragrance.

The bulk (but not entirety) of my collection.

OK, that one was no surprise to most of you...I have, um, a little perfume habit. I'm not stinky, not trying to cover anything up, I just love and appreciate the art of fragrance. I also smell all food before I take the first bite, but that may be more of an animal instinct kinda thing.

4. I am a night person, and I despise mornings. My husband will get up early to finish something, after going to bed when he's tired. I will stay up until 4 am to get it done, because I am useless in the morning and if I have to get up early to finish it, it doesn't get finished.

5. Clothing Issues. I have lots of casual clothing and quite a bit of formal attire, but very little in between. So a nice evening out usually finds me either overdressed or underdressed. I recognize this as a problem but have yet to do anything about it.

So. There you have my five. I officially charge five bloggers to reveal 5 weird habits or peculiarities about themselves: PFG of Do Not Enter The Tea Room; Kyahgirl of Mother Hen's Place; Katiedid of Seldom Nice Nowadays; Lupa of no one knows why the wolf laughs and Bela of Slap of the Day (please don't slap me, Bela!) Enjoy!

Today's fragrance: Les Parfums Rosine Rose d'Ete. This is a beautiful, ethereal yellow rose scent, perfect for a late Winter day, when you can feel Spring right around the corner, waiting to come and stay for a while. This is sunshine in a bottle. Notes: Head - Apple, galbanum, bergamot. Heart - Yellow rose, linden blossom, mimosa, lotus blossom. Base - Ambrette seed, musk. Thanks to LusciousCargo for the notes.

What would you do

2006-02-27T10:09:00.000-05:00

if you woke up at 4am and saw a gigantic scary black bug on the ceiling directly above your head?

1. Go back to sleep, hoping everything is find and have nightmares about gigantic scary black bugs dropping onto your face in your sleep. BUGS...ewwww.

2. Get out of your nice warm bed, go into the kitchen, get a glass and a piece of paper, go back into the bedroom, catch the gigantic scary black bug and release it into the 15-degree weather outside. I mean, I am a 21-st century woman, right? I can handle a bug.

3. Wake up your sleeping husband who spent all day Friday in the emergency room of the local hospital to rule out pneumonia...and make him get up and get rid of the gigantic scary black bug? Isn't that what we keep the men around for? Bug patrol?

4. Other (explain in your post)

What do you think *I* did?

Today's fragrance: Napa Valley Boheme. I really like this spicy floral oriental fragrance, only wish it had better lasting power. I sprayed it on generously less than two hours ago and I'm barely smelling it now. It definitely stays close to the skin, little or no sillage (waftiness). I personally like to waft. Listed notes are: Top notes of Bergamot, Lemon, Pepper, Rosewood, Neroli and Galbanum.
Mid notes of Rose Geranium, Orris, Lily, White Rose, Bulgarian Rose, Carnation, Grandiflorum Jasmine (Egyptian), Honey, Lilac and Clove Bud.
Base Notes of Tolu and Peru Blossom, Benzoin, Siam and Virginia Cedars, Amber, Sandalwood, Frankincense, Patchouli, Myrrh, Tobacco and Tree Moss.

That's a lot of ingredients, but it's a well-blended scent. The interesting thing about scents with a lot of ingredients is that they tend to shine differently on different people. It has a bit of an old-world feel, as if maybe it would have been popular with black & white movie starlets. I love galbanum in fragrances, but the top notes are fleeting. By the time it dries on my skin, we're into the middle range. Lovely rose and orris with a hefty dose of clove & carnation and a touch of sweetness from the honey. I also get a definite tobacco feel throughout. The drydown is a bit more woodsy/ambery - an earthy context for the spicy floral, which remains. Overall, I think this scent is a slightly dangerous old world glamour scent. Like a beautiful woman with a dark side. I only wish it lasted a bit longer.

It Should Be Illegal

2006-02-16T15:49:00.000-05:00

To smell this good.

Today I am wearing jeans, a grey sweater covered in fuzzballs, my hair is in a ponytail, I am wearing no makeup, the only piece of jewelry I am wearing is my wedding ring and for shoes? Chucks. Yup, black & pink canvas converse high-tops.

But I am the most glamorous, worldly, sexy and intriguing creature I know. Know why? Cause of my perfume.

I am thinking this might be one I shouldn't wear to work though, cause I am distracting myself with all my mystery & glamour. I'd wear this on a date with James Bond. But not the Tom Cruise Bond - Connery.

Yeah, baby.

What am I wearing today? No fair if I told you elsewhere.

Kid Bedtime = Mom Grumpy Time

2006-02-14T22:13:00.000-05:00

I actually had a really nice evening (will write more tomorrow or the next day), but that 7:30-8:30 time frame is probably my least favorite time of the day. Visions of cuddling with sleepy, clean kids in pajamas, talking about our day or reading a book...just shattered. Every. Single. Night.

Well, sometimes we get to do the fun, relaxed, cuddly thing.

More often than not though, it's "Brush your teeth! Keep your hands off your sister. Have you brushed your teeth yet? Why are you running around the house naked with a pillow on your head? Get your pajamas on! Wash your face!" You get the point.

Tonight, 7 year old daughter D walked into my room in her pajamas, looking bored (she had been banned from the bathroom until her sister, 4 year old A, was done in there). I was getting clothes ready for the next day.

Me: "Is your sister STILL brushing her teeth?!"
D: "Yeah."
Me: "Well, she's about to lose that privilege."
D: "Brushing her teeth?!"
Me: "Yes."
D: (laughing) "Brushing your teeth is not a privilege, you HAVE to do it every day, two times a day or more."
Me: "Fine then. I'll find another privilege to take away. Like washing her hands."

D totally told on me to my husband too.

Perception of Beauty

2006-02-07T10:37:00.000-05:00

I did actually watch the Superbowl. Well, actually, the Superbowl was on and I hung out in the company of good friends and family and mostly paid attention to the commercials. I even learned about how if the ball breaks the invisible force field of the goal line, even in the air, it's a goal. I konw there's a more footbally way to say that, but I don't care that much.

Commercials: some good, some godawful. One of the best, for me, was the Dove commerical, featuring young girls and their insecurities. You can view the commercial here. Young girls, each beautiful in her own way, unsatisfied with her appearance because society tells her that in order to be beautiful, one must look a certain way. A girl who probably weighed 90 pounds, standing in the self-defensive posture of a 12-year old, with the caption "worried she's fat."

I could go on and on about my views on this, but I wanted to share with you a conversation I had with my daughters last night. I was thinking about the commercial and decided to have a chat with my girls, ages 4 & 7, about beauty and what it means to be beautiful.

I asked the 7yo: Name somebody you think is beautiful. After going through the entire family, of course, she comes up with her friend Skylar. OK, I say, tell me WHY Skylar is beautiful.

7yo: Because she likes to play with me, and she's nice.

Ooooh, proud mama moment.

I ask the 4yo: What makes somebody beautiful?

4yo: A nice dress.

Me: OK, what else might make somebody beautiful?

4yo: A crown.

So we proceed with the discussion of how beauty comes from within and a supermodel can be ugly if she's not nice or compassionate. I say a big fat person with frizzy hair and crooked teeth can be beautiful if she cares about people and is kind.

7yo heartily agrees with me. 4yo is silent, thinking.

I'm afraid that she's thinking that if a big fat person with frizzy hair and crooked teeth has on a nice dress and a crown, of course she's beautiful.

Idole de Lubin

2006-01-31T10:23:00.000-05:00

Much has already been written about this new scent, the 466th from the centuries-old Paris house of Lubin. Founded by Pierre-Francois Lubin in 1798, the house of Lubin quickly gained renown in Paris. Lubin scents were worn by Empress Josephine and Princess Borghese - Napoleon Bonaparte's sister. Lubin fragrances made their way to America in 1830 but seem to have faded between then and now. The creation of Idole, however, may be just what was needed to conquer the New World again.

Created by Olivia Giacobetti, Idole is truly a wonder. This scent was created to evoke travels in wondrous, faraway places. I can't pick just one place. One moment I am lying under the stars in the desert, with a nomadic tribe, a sweet-wood fire and air much cooler than I expected after the heat of the day. In another moment I am in a bazaar, with the scents of cumin, saffron, woods, leather all swirling around me. Another sniff brings me to the edge of the jungle, with its fecund mysteries - beauty and danger. By the drydown, I am back home in my imaginary library. I am surrounded by the scented souvenirs I picked up in my travels, looking through photos in my big leather chair by the fireplace, with my very own ebony mask hanging on the wall.

Listed notes: Rum absolute, bitter orange peel, saffron, black cumin, doum palm, smoked ebony, sugar cane, leather and red sandalwood.

If Cumin in a fragrance scares you, don't fear it here. It must be the particular type of cumin in Idole (black cumin) that does not give the sweat accord. This is a very soft cumin, almost a hint of fresh cumin from a distance, carried on a sea breeze. The sandalwood is simultaneously sweet and powerful, a note that touches your heart, yet you don't quite understand why. Rum and bitter orange in the beginning are stunning and immediately transport you to another world. Leather in the drydown has a comfortable air of old money.

When I first tried this fragrance I thought it might be better suited for my husband - all the woods and rum felt just a tad masculine to me, but the more I wear it, the more I love it. This is a fragrance for a woman who is sure of herself, a bit worldly and sophisticated, and maybe on the intimidating side. Or for a woman who just wants to smell like that.

Olivia Giacobetti's fragrances include some of my favorites: L’Artisan Dzing!, L'Artisan Safran Troublant (another masterful use of saffron) and several other amazing L'Artisans. A few for Diptyque, including my favorite Philosykos, Hermes Hiris and many more. For a more complete list, visit Now Smell This: Noses.

Idole de Lubin is now available at Luckyscent in Los Angeles and online, Beautyhabit online and Luscious Cargo, in New Smyrna Beach and online.

Many thanks to Colombina of Perfume-Smellin' Things, Robin of Now Smell This, Victoria of Bois de Jasmin and M. Giles Thevenin of Lubin.

Today's Fragrance: Idole de Lubin.

Three Blind Mice

2006-01-30T10:33:00.000-05:00

"I tried for a whole summer to teach our cat to play the piano. We started with an easy song. It was 3 Blind Mice. My dad said it didn't work because the cat had a tin ear, but I think it was because she kept looking around for the blind mice the whole time & never gave it her full attention. "

Every once in a while, when I can't think of anything much to say, I hop on the Story People website and artist Brian Andreas says it for me. I could get lost for hours on his site.

Fuchsia

2006-01-21T15:44:00.000-05:00

We all know how to spell fuchsia, right? Yes, I did spell it right - F U C H S I A. Today's dictionary has one word separating fuchsia from fuck, and that is Fuchsin (a synthetic dyestuff, used to make a purple-red dye for coloring textiles and as a bacterial stain).

But don't you want to know WHY we spell fuchsia this way? PFG the linguist did and this is what her American Heritage Dictonary tells us of the etymology of fuchsia: NLat. Fuchsia, genus name, after Leonard Fuchs (1501-66), German Botanist

Many thanks to buleria for teaching me how to spell fuchsia, and enduring my seemingly never-ending excitement about it.

Many thanks to pfg, for learning how to spell it today and then wondering why.

On Cheering Up: Advice

2006-01-19T14:56:00.000-05:00

"Part your hair on the opposite side and pretend you're French."

Brigitte Bardot

I'm all over it.

Many thanks to the *other* cj for the laugh!

How to Write Goth Poetry

2006-01-18T12:34:00.000-05:00

The Blackest Gift

It is a night of ethereal pain, a song of death,
wolves vent their cry. The dark one
stirs.

Fog shrouds her pale form,
an eternal desire.

Her raven hair cascades over
pale shoulders, and her
full crimson lips part slightly, to taste the
life streaming from the
pale flesh beneath
her.

Now a night of ecstasy,
I pine.

Created with help from the Goth-O-Matic Poetry Generator.

http://www.deadlounge.com/poetry/index.html

Happy Birthday to me!

2006-01-16T12:02:00.000-05:00

On this day in history...
0308 St Marcellus I ends his reign as Catholic Pope
1219 Floods in Northern Netherlands after storm, 1,000s killed
1325 Laure de Noves, beloved of Petrarch, marries Hugues de Sade
1493 Columbus returns to Spain on his 1st trip
1531 English Reformation parliament's 2nd sitting
1547 Ivan IV the Terrible (17) crowns himself 1st tsar of Russia
1556 Emperor Karel appoints his son Philip II, king of Spain
1581 English parliament passes laws against Catholicism
1756 England & Prussia sign Treaty of Westminster
1759 British Museum opens in London
1765 Charles Messier catalogs M41 (galactic cluster in Canis Major)
1776 Continental Congress approves enlistment of free blacks
1777 Vermont declares independence from NY
1780 Battle at Cape St Vincent admiral Rodney beats Spanish fleet
1795 French army under Pichegru occupies Utrecht Netherlands
1819 Godert baron van der de Capellen becomes Governor of Dutch-Indies
1832 Charles Darwin lands at San Tiago, Cape Verde
1863 Cruise of CSS Florida 1864 Heavy fighting takes place near Dandridge TN
1865 General William Sherman issues Field Order #15 (land for blacks)
1865 San Francisco Dramatic Chronicle started
1865 Confederate Brigadier General John Pegram marries Hetty Cary
1865 Drunken sailor attacks munitions at Fort Fisher NC, 40 die
1868 Refrigerator car patented by William Davis, a fish dealer in Detroit
1870 Virginia becomes 8th state re-admitted to US after Civil War
1871 Jefferson Long of Georgia sworn in as 2nd black congressman
1877 Color organ (for light shows) patented, by Bainbridge Bishop
1879 January record 13" of snow falls in New York City NY (broken Jan 7, 1996)
1883 Pendleton Act creates basis of US Civil Service system
1883 Québec Rugby Football Union forms
1887 Cliff House damaged when schooner "Parallel"'s powder cargo explodes
1889 128ºF (53ºC), Cloncurry, Queensland (Australian record)
1897 John Dewey's essay "My Pedagogic Creed" appears in School Journal
1905 Baseball outfielder Frank Huelsman traded for 6th time in 8 months
1905 Stanley Cup Ottawa Silver 7 sweep Dawson City (Yukon) in 2 games Ottawa Silver 7 beats Dawson City (Yukon) 23-2 for Stanley Cup, this is most lopsided playoff game, Frank McGee scores 14 goals
1906 Conference of Algeciras (about Morocco)
1908 Pinnacles National Monument, California established
1909 David, Mawson & Mackay reach south magnetic pole
1909 British explorer Ernest Shackleton finds magnetic south pole
1911 Pandora becomes 1st 2-man sailboat to round Cape Horn west to east
1913 British House of Commons accepts Home-Rule for Ireland
1914 Writer Maksim Gorki returns to Russia
1915 Congress authorizes $1 & $50 Panamá-Pacific International Expo gold coin
1919 Prohibition ratified by 3/4 of the states; Nebraska is 36th
1920 18th Amendment, prohibition, becomes the law of the land - one year after ratification; it is repealed in 1933
1920 1st assembly of League of Nations (Paris)
1920 Georgia declares independence
1925 General M Froense replaces Trotsky as People's Commissioner of Defense
1925 Leon Trotsky dismissed as CEO of Russian Revolution Military Council
1931 Bradman scores 223 Australia vs West Indies, 297 minutes, 26 fours
1933 Bert Oldfield flattened by Larwood delivery in Adelaide Test
1936 1st photo finish camera installed at Hialeah Race track in Hialeah FL
1936 Screen Actors Guild incorporates with King Vidor as president
1936 Spanish socialists/communists/anarchists form Unidad Popular
1938 Benny Goodman refuses to play Carnegie Hall when black members of his band were barred from performing
1939 Comic strip "Superman" debuts
1941 War Department forms 1st Army Air Corps squadron for black cadets
1941 US vice admiral Bellinger warns of an assault on Pearl Harbor
1942 William Knudsen becomes 1st civilian appointed a General in US army
1943 -60ºF (-51ºC), Island Park Dam ID (state record)
1943 1st US air raid on Ambon
1943 German 2nd SS-Pantzer division evacuates Charkow
1943 Red Army recaptures Pitomnik airport at Stalingrad
1944 General Eisenhower took command of Allied Invasion Force in London
1945 Scottish 52nd land division/1st Commando brigade-assault at Heinsberg
1945 US 1st & 3rd army meet at Houffalise
1947 Vincent Aurial elected President of France
1948 35 Haganah members are ambushed & killed in Gush Etzyon
1949 "Rape of Lucretia" closes at Ziegfeld Theater New York City NY after 23 performances
1949 KNBH (now KNBC) TV channel 4 in Los Angeles CA (NBC) 1st broadcast
1949 WTOP (now WUSA) TV channel 9 in Washington DC (CBS) 1st broadcast
1950 Belgium, Luxembourg & Netherlands recognize Israel
1951 World's largest gas pipeline opens (Brownsville TX, to 134th St, New York City NY)
1951 Viet Minh offensive against Hanoi
1952 New Dutch bible translation finished
1952 US Standard Board clears Stan Musial to get an $85,000 salary
1953 27th Australian Womens Tennis Maureen Connolly beat J Sampson (63 62)
1953 41st Australian Mens Tennis Ken Rosewall beats Mervyn Rose (60 63 64)
1953 Egyptian Premier General Naguib disbands all political parties
1953 KXLY TV channel 4 in Spokane WA (ABC/CBS) begins broadcasting
1954 "South Pacific" closes at Majestic Theater New York City NY after 1928 performances
1955 Jackie Pung wins LPGA Sea Island Golf Open
1955 NFL Pro Bowl West beats East 26-19
1956 Egyptian President Nassar pledges to reconquer Palestine
1957 3 B-52s leave California for 1st non-stop round the world flights
1957 Cavern Club (home of Beatles' 1st appearance) opens on Mathew Street in England
1958 William Gibson's "Two for the Seesaw" premieres in New York City NY
1961 "Conquering Hero" opens at ANTA Theater New York City NY for 8 performances
1961 Russian espionage ring detected in Great Britain
1962 Suit accuses New York City NY Board of Education uses "racial quotas"
1962 Shooting begins on "Dr No"
1963 Khrushchev claims to have a 100-megaton nuclear bomb
1963 Tennessee Williams' "Milk Train Doesn't Stop Here Anymore" premieres
1964 "Hello, Dolly!" starring Carol Channing, opens at St James Theater New York City NY for 2,844 performances
1964 AL owners vote 9-1 against Charlie Finley moving Kansas City A's to Louisville
1965 "Oh What a Lovely War" closes at Broadhurst New York City NY after 125 performances
1965 "Outer Limits" last airs on ABC-TV
1965 AFL Pro Bowl West beats East 38-14
1965 Searchers' "Love Potion #9" peaks at #3
1965 USSR performs nuclear test at Eastern Kazakstan/Semipalatinsk USSR
1966 Harold R Perry becomes 2nd black Roman Catholic bishop in US
1966 Metropolitan Opera House opens in Lincoln Center 1967 1st black government installed in Bahamas
1967 Lucius Amerson, becomes 1st southern (Alabama) black sheriff in 20th century
1968 21st NHL All-Star Game Toronto beat All-Stars 4-3 at Toronto
1968 Jay Allen's "Prime of Miss Jean Brodie" premieres in New York City NY
1969 Jan Palach immolates himself to protest Soviet invasion of Czechoslovakia
1969 Soviet Soyuz 4 & Soyuz 5 perform 1st transfer of crew in space
1970 AAU player Steve Myers makes a basketball field goal of 92'3½" from out of bounds, Tacoma-it shouldn't have counted, but was allowed
1970 NFL realigns into 3 divisions (down from 4)
1970 Colonel Kadhaffi becomes premier of Libya
1970 Curt Flood files a civil lawsuit challenging baseball's reserve clause
1970 cjblue is born
1971 Ard Schenk skates world record 1500m (1 58.7)
1972 Atje Keulen-Deelstra becomes European all-round lady skating champ
1972 Super Bowl VI Dallas Cowboys-24, Miami-3 in New Orleans; Super Bowl MVP Roger Staubach, Dallas, Quarterback
1973 USSR's Lunakhod 2 begins radio-controlled exploration of the Moon
1973 NBC presents 440th & final showing of "Bonanza"
1974 L A Landslide kills 9, Canyonville OR
1974 "Jaws" by Peter Benchley is published
1974 New York Yankees Mickey Mantle & Whitey Ford elected to Hall of Fame
1976 "Donny & Marie" [Osmond] musical variety show premieres on ABC TV
1976 Peter Frampton released platinum live album "Frampton Comes Alive"
1977 Washington Capital's H Monahan scored on 2nd penalty shot against Islanders
1978 Soyuz 27 returns to Earth
1978 5th American Music Award Stevie Wonder, Fleetwood Mac & Conway Twitty
1979 Shah Mohammed Reza Pahlevi of Iran flees Iran for Egypt
1980 Paul McCartney jailed in Tokyo for 10 days on marijuana possession
1981 Ivan Lendl intentionally loses a match in the Volvo Masters in order to avoid having to play Björn Borg
1981 John Lennon's "Woman" is released in UK
1981 Protestant gunmen shoot & wound Bernadette Devlin McAliskey & husband
1981 Boxer Leon Spinks is mugged, his assailants even take his gold teeth
1984 Paul & Linda McCartney arrested in Barbados-possession of cannabis
1984 11th American Music Award Michael Jackson
1985 "Playboy" announces end of stapling centerfolds
1986 Police arrested 3 IRA-terrorists in Amsterdam
1988 Jimmy "The Greek" Snyder fired from CBS for racial remarks
1988 NFL St Louis Cardinals announce move to Phoenix
1988 4th Soap Opera Digest Awards - Days of Our Live wins
1989 USSR announces plan for 2-year manned mission to Mars
1989 Police arrest writer Vaclav Havel in Prague
1990 2 Bank of Credit & Commerce members plea guilty to money laundering
1991 Operation Desert Storm begins - US & 27 allies attack Iraq for occupying Kuwait (air war begins January 17 at 2:38AM (local time) or January 16 at 6:38PM EST due to an 8 hour time difference, with an Apache helicopter attack)
1991 cjblue gets her bluejay tattoo
1991 7th Soap Opera Digest Awards - Days of Our Live wins
1992 "2 Shakespearean Actors" opens at Cort Theater New York City NY for 29 performances
1994 Scott skates world record 1000m (1 12.54)
1995 UPN (Universal-Parmount Network) begins telecasting (WWOR in New York City NY)
1997 Anthony Stuart takes ODI hat-trick, Australia vs Pakistan, MCG

Thanks to Scope Systems for this list.

Houbigant Quelques Fleurs

2006-01-11T12:38:00.000-05:00

Houbigant Quelques Fleurs

What is it with Sales Assistants who know less about fragrance than I do and yet treat me like a fragrance sheep, as if I'm in your store to buy whatever you tell me smells good (baaah). Honestly, you might be charming and cute (a charming, cute man helps), but I know what I like and I know what works on me, and I also know what does not.

Recently I was in the fragrance department of a large, upscale store with a lot of niche fragrances. I was ogling the Caron display there, since you ALL KNOW I'm dying to own my very own vat of French Cancan. I asked the overly attentive (hovering, really) SA about the Cancan. As it turns out, despite the presence right there on the counter, of a beautiful little bottle labeled "French Cancan," They don't sell the stuff.

If I hadn't been there with two children who want to try every fragrance known to man, I might have discussed with him the idiocy of this, and asked him to remove Cancan from the display since it's obviously not carried there.

If I saw a Balenciaga purse in the window of a store and walked in, only to find that they don't carry Balenciaga purses, I'd be a little miffed.

ANYWAY...then the SA says to me "If you like French Cancan, you'll LOVE Quelques Fleurs." Honestly, as hard as I try, the logic of this completely escapes me, but I say to him "I've tried Quelques Fleurs and it doesn't work on me."

He responds "Oh, but it's a new crop, and it's incredible! It will stay with you ALL DAY!" I tell him I've tried it several times in the past and, while it's great for the first 10 minutes, after that it seriously heads south.

Somehow (aforementioned charm/cute factor) he persuades me to try the new batch, and then sprays it LIBERALLY all up my entire arm. All you fragrance freaks out there know how precious skin real estate can be on a sniffing expedition, so I was annoyed, even though I didn't have much sniffing to do that day. I was also anticipating the turn and didn't want to be stuck with an armful of stink all damn day.

So, as usual, it starts off glorious. Honestly, it's a beautiful fragrance. And for 10 minutes I walk around in a CLOUD (QF is not a fragrance that should ever be sprayed THAT liberally) of beautiful floral.

Then it begins - the turning of the fragrance. Slowly but surely, I can smell it going off right there on my skin. I offer liberally sprayed arm to SA man, saying "See what I mean? It's going off, right on my skin." He says "I think it smells beautiful - and it will last all day. It's wonderful!" Humph. I wander around some more, it goes further off, I make him smell it again - I say "Can you smell it, how it smells off?" "I see what you are saying but it's obviously a beautiful fragrance, still." I go in search of a Bobbi Brown lipstick for my mom, drive the poor lipstick lady nuts trying to find the perfect color, for a woman who only wears makeup that looks like no makeup, and by then I'm fully reeking.

I walk around some more and then I bump into SA again. I say "Here, smell this. Do you see how it smells STALE? Like a 100-year old perfume. It smells like a very very old bottle of parfum that your grandmother used to wear."

He said "Yes, but a grandmother with impeccable taste."

As I walked out the door, past bottles and bottles of Quelques Fleurs, I finally figured out why he'd been trying so hard with this one. Duh. It was the push of the day/week/month. Finally it clicked - why he'd been so patient instead of saying - yeah, that really stinks on you, let's look for something else. Why he compared QF to Cancan. Why he knew QF was a "fresh crop" and didn't know if they even SOLD Cancan, although it was sitting on the counter.

I will say that I am Queen of Rationalization, and I couldn't have done such a good job with a stanky woman shoving her arm in my face all morning.

Is there a point to all this? Nah. It was just a strange encounter of the fragrance kind and I thought I'd share. And please don't let my experience with QF turn you off. This is a rare occurrence, and for some reason this fragrance simply doesn't like me. I do think it's a beautiful fragrance - you don't hang around for almost 100 years in the perfume world if you're not. Anybody who likes florals should give it a shot.

Per Bergdorf Goodman online: One of the most renowned and admired fragrances of all time, Quelques Fleurs L'Original forever changed floral fragrances when it became the first true multi-floral bouquet 90 years ago. A classic that has endured the test of time, the fragrance is wrapped in a theme of sculptured petals in a frosted and clear French glass. The true Quelques Fleurs formula has never been published. An ancient formula still kept in the family archives, this fragrance will never be duplicated. The blend of soft, sensual florals uses over 250 different raw materials and more than 15,000 flowers to create just one ounce of Quelques Fleurs eau de parfum. To this day it is still produced in Grasse, France, where Jean Francois Houbigant first created his perfumes in 1775.

Happy New Year!

2006-01-02T11:30:00.000-05:00

I wish you all a happy and healthy 2006, and am honored to count many readers as personal friends. I don't have any real words of wisdom (still recovering from the plague) but would like to share with you two recent finds.

1. Sons of Provo, the movie. I don't believe this is a movie I would have ever picked up off the shelf but my husband came home with it last week from the rental place and it is the FUNNIEST movie I've seen in a very long time. Think "Spinal Tap" meets Boy Band meets the Mormon Tabernacle. From what I can tell, the movie is written, produced by and starring Mormons. I lived in Las Vegas for a while and spent some vacation time in Utah, so I have some experience with Mormons. I got an interesting view into some of the beliefs and ways of Mormons, but the movie is so tongue-in-cheek, and so brilliantly done it's hard not to love it. With songs like "Dang, Fetch, oh my Heck," "Diddly Wack Wack Mormon Daddy" and "Love Me, but Don't Show Me" this is a must-see movie.

If you actually take my recommendation and like it, and can handle a bit of adult humor, be sure to check out "Orgazmo." Orgazmo is not written, directed or starring any mormons but it's a hysterical movie. Imagine a young Mormon man, on a Mission in Los Angeles and trying to save enough money to have his wedding at the Mormon Tabernacle, who is offered a chance to make more money than he ever imagined possible - by starring as an action hero in a porn movie. Great soundtrack too.

2. How many times have I walked past S'mores Makers in stores like Bed, Bath & Beyond and scoffed? Many, I can assure you. My sister got one for her bridal shower - as a matter of fact, everybody I know who owns one got it as a gift. I always thought it kind of defeated the purpose of making s'mores. S'mores are supposed to be made over an open fire at your campsite, or even in the backyard. But the idea of making s'mores at your kitchen table always seemed absurd to me. Until last week.

I was in New York City with the family, for our annual pilgramage to the statue of Balto (the sled dog) in Central Park, the Central Park Zoo and a few shishi stores thrown in there for good measure. Before we hopped the train home, we wanted to grab a bite to eat but Hale and Hearty was closed. We walked up a bit and found Cosi. Soup, sandwiches and upstairs seating, perfect! My husband took the girls up to find a table while I waited for our food. As I walked upstairs with the food, I was greeted with a most delicious smell. I looked to the source of the smell, and saw a table of people roasting marshmallows over a little fire...making s'mores! All adults, they were having a great time debating over burning the marshmallow vs. achieving the perfect golden brown color...licking sticky marshmallow stuff off their fingers and munching on s'mores. We had to catch our train so we didn't have time to order the s'mores package, but suddenly I find myself with a most unusual desire...to own my very own s'mores maker. I am dying to make s'mores with my family at the kitchen table. Cosi even sells the s'mores kit, but it's $65!

I have a birthday coming up in a couple of weeks. Off to comparison shop for s'mores kits.

You have got to see what came up on Froogle. Ballerina S'mores craft kit - AAAAARGGHHHHH!!!

Best of 2005

2005-12-29T13:07:00.000-05:00

I apologize for being late in posting this, I came down with the plague yesterday and have been trying to get well before I have people in my house for New Year's Eve. I have been charged with creating a Top 10 list of 2005's beauty discoveries. You should know that I am very much a creature of habit - I tend to stick with what I know (or think I know) works. So in the course of a year, I don't make all that many new beauty discoveries. However, here are 10 products I have truly come to love in the last year, listed in no particular order:

1. Caron French Can Can - This has been the year of Caron discoveries for me. These days, it is rare that a fragrance really sparks my imagination and captivates me. When I wear French CanCan I can't stop sniffing myself. Notes: jasmine, lilac, violet, lily of the valley, rose, orange blossom, patchouli, iris, sandalwood, amber, oakmoss (thank you to Bois de Jasmin for this information). This one is available only as parfum extrait (at least in the Caron boutique) but it's my absolute next fragrance purchase. It's completely worth it. This is class personified. When my mom sniffed it on me, she said "It smells old-fashioned." It does. But like your favorite grandmother or aunt, the one with impeccable taste who always wore hats.

2. Nars Blush, specifically Nars Deep Throat - I rarely try new makeup, but everybody had been raving about Nars blushes so I thought I'd try it myself. Had a makeover by the Nars folks at Barney's and I bought the blush. It's a wonderful blush, goes on just right, is hard to overapply, never looks streaky and is perfect for daytime wear. I plan to get another Nars blush for evening.

3. Guerlain Shalimar Light - This one I fell in love with on first spritz. Shalimar has always been a bit on the heavy side for me, and I tend to like heavy scents. But I tried this in an Ulta store right in the beginning of summer and I needed to own it. It starts off with a burst of fresh lemon - not the artificial kind, but like a lemon grove lemon. This fragrance to me is like wearing Shalimar you applied 8 hours ago and walking through a lemon grove. This is Shalimar perfected.

4. Malin & Goetz Cleanser - When was the last time you looked forward to washing your face? This grapefruity lathering face cleanser will do that to you. I received a sample, used it for a couple of weeks and fell in love. I'm totally hooked and my skin looks great. I also use their lotion for daytime. Malin & Goetz is a new addition to the skincare world, but their products are amazing quality and minimalistic in packaging and added ingredients. Great stuff.

4. Trader Joe's Midsummer Night's Cream - I picked this up recently at Trader Joe's and although it's a cream, it's not quite as thick as many others. Definitely thicker than a lotion though. This is the one that saves me from owning a million body lotions and creams in corresponding scents to my fragrances. A little of this cream in my hand (convenient pump bottle), a spray or two of the day's fragrance, mix it in and voila! Layering.

5. Caron Narcisse Noir - Ooooh, I fell hard for this one on first try too. I love the paperwhite scent. So clean and yet simultaneously intriguing. You want to keep smelling this one, to go beneath the clean white exterior. This is a beautiful fragrance.

6. Johnson & Johnson Vanilla Jasmine Baby Powder - A very recent discovery, I love inexpensive good finds and this one totally fits the bill. It has none of that baby powder smell, but instead a lovely warm floral scent. And the powder itself is great too. If you haven't tried Johnson baby powders since you had a baby or were one, it's time to give it another shot.

7. Ormonde Jayne Tolu - The first time I tried this one, I didn't love it but on retrying it, I fell madly in love and this was my staple fragrance all summer. However, it's also perfect for Winter and especially holiday parties. Tolu is hard to describe...think old-world library but not musty. Overstuffed chairs, comfort, lingering smell of incensey tobacco. Lush and comforting and definitely unique. It's that crazy resin. The resin combined with the slight edge from the sage keeps this from being too plush a fragrance, if that makes sense. I can sit on the overstuffed chairs without sinking in up to my neck.

8. Coty Sand & Sable - This is one I keep around to remind myself that I'm not really a fragrance snob. "Hey, I got this at the drugstore for uder $10!" It seems that most people have Junior High School memories with this one, but in Jr. High I was wearing Ysatis, so this for me is a 2005 discovery. Tuberose based, it really does smell luxurious like sable and I can smell the sand in there. It's the perfect summer evening fragrance.

9. Yves Saint Laurent Nu Body Cream - I received this as a birthday gift back in January, after I fell in love with Nu the fragrance. Unfortunately, it seems to be completely discontinued and available only when lightning strikes at Marshalls or TJMaxx for between $15-20. I've also seen it online for around $60. This is like the spiciness of Nu, but mellower and in a thick, rich body cream. It's sandalwoody and spicy and I can smell it the next morning when I put it on before bed. This is an incredible body cream and I'm just about to begin hoarding mode on what I have left.

10. Le Couvent des Minimes Honey products - this is an amazing line, found in my Bath & Body Works flagship store. The whole line of honey stuff smells just like real honey, and the lotion is thick and creamy, like whipped honey. This is amazing for layering, or just for any time you want to smell like pure, gorgeous honey.

Thank you for reading, and please visit the other blogs participating in the Best of 2005! Also, a huge thank you to Scentzilla, Now Smell This and Blogdorf Goodman for all their work in coordinating the Best of 2005. I wish my readers and fellow bloggers all the best in 2006.

An Alabaster Brow

Beauty Addict

Blogdorf Goodman

Bois de Jasmin

Brain Trapped in Girl's Body

c'est chic

Crazy Jay Blue

The Great She Elephant

Hrmph

Koneko's *Mostly* Beauty Diary

Legerdenez

Make a Mental Note

Monkey Posh

Mother Hen's Place

my life my words my mind

no one knows why the wolf laughs

Now Smell This

ï¿½Ombligo!

Peppermint Patty

Perfume-Smellin' Things

Scentzilla!

She'll be feverish after so much thinking

Slap of the Day

Victoria's Own

Scent of a wolf

2005-12-16T10:09:00.000-05:00

Recently I was part of a gathering of people who get together periodically to go fragrance sniffing in New York City. I've made some wonderful friends and met many amazing new people, as the group changes and grows. This gathering is very much anticipated in our home.

At the last one, a beautiful young woman with purple hair and a smile that lights up the room handed me a sample of a fragrance she had created. I had met this woman before, she is known to many of us as Lupa, but we had never really talked much. I didn't know what to expect at all and was a little nervous (what if I hate it?) but curious to see what a fellow perfume lover had created herself. I'm always touched when somebody creates something and is able to share it like that. Musicians, artists, perfumers...obviously when one reaches a certain level it's about marketing and not paying attention to any negative feedback, but at this level, a friend handing me a sample vial is very meaningful. "I created this and I want you to try it" is a way of sharing herself on a different level.

I went home with my bags and bags of goodies and samples and purchases, dumped them all out on the bed, pulled out Lupa's and set it on the dresser for sampling the next day. It's called Exult: Summer Fling.

I put it on and a hefty dose of nutmeg greeted me immediately. This settles down pretty quickly and a beautiful jasmine comes into play. I can smell some vanilla in there, but it's not a foody vanilla, and it's not sweet. It anchors the fragrance and helps to balance the nutmeg and jasmine. After about 20 minutes, it settles into the fragrance it remains for a good while, with nutmeg in the fore followed immediately by the jasmine.

I should say here that Exult is a natural perfume and so is made using only all natural essences. If you've never smelled essence of jasmine, it's really something different than what you get in commercially marketed fragrances. I don't personally believe one is better than the other, but they are quite different. Natural jasmine is a rich, sexual earthy scent. It's rich in indoles, which are found naturally in jasmine and orange blossom, as well as coal tar and fecal matter. Which is not to say it smells like poop - as anybody who has ever smelled a jasmine flower will know. My point is that if you've never experienced natural jasmine, you might not know immediately what it is that you're smelling.

In the drydown, finally the frankincense pokes its head out. So by then, I have nutmeg on a bed of jasmine flowers, with a few drops of vanilla and bits of frankincense here and there. For a fragrance with only 4 ingredients, it's surprisimgly complex and changeable, and ultimately intriguing. I know what's in there and still each time I wear this fragrance, it's a little adventure on my skin. It's a beautiful fragrance and I'm honored that Lupa has chosen to share it with me.

My one disagreement with her is the name. Exult works, but Summer Fling doesn't sit right with me. Maybe because it's freezing cold outside, but to me nutmeg = winter. Add vanilla and frankincense and you've got a recipe for a perfect winter fragrance. Jasmine gives it wings.

You can find lupa at her blog, no one knows why the wolf laughs.

December

2005-12-06T10:14:00.000-05:00

An essay on December by my daughter, age 7. Spelling and punctuation are as it was written.
Written on December 1, 2005

What I like about December is that the first day of winter is in this month. Winter is so beutiful that it is almost as beutiful as spring!

It looks as if it were sleeping because of it's white blanket. But sleeping winter is fun because when you make shapes in the snow, your shapes get sewed into winter's blanket.

And when winter wakes up, she puts her blanket away but she is still beutiful. Those are the things I like about December.

It was brought to my attention last night that I had promised to post my scent of the day and I've been remiss. My deepest apologies.

Today's Fragrance: Susanne Lang Cashmere dry oil roll on. The description from LaCreme Beauty is: "As we journeyed by camel across the Jailsalmer desert, the sunset took forever to die in its furnace glow. Night rise was enthralling, the pinprick seductions of a billion stars, the calming solitude of lunar horizon. I pulled my cashmere shawl closer, detected hints in the wool, the aroma of incense, spices and precious woods sold in the market where I had bartered for it."

That's a pretty good description. This is a very snuggly, warm scent, but with a hint of sweet lime, maybe cedar, keeping it from being one you completely sink into, like a too-soft bed. This is a just-right bed, with a snuggly down comforter. I get the spices, but they're subtle. I get the precious woods, again subtle. It dries down to a great skin scent and if I had to guess (I can't find any listed notes) I'm pretty sure I'd say there's a bunch of Tonka bean in there - which to me is a nonfoody vanillic comforting scent.

Quote du jour

2005-11-30T10:30:00.000-05:00

"Mommy, I'm sure I'm bleeding somewhere on my body."

This from my 4yo daughter as she stripped off all her clothes in the middle of the kitchen last night while I cooked dinner.

She's addicted to Band-Aids.

Thanksgiving

2005-11-23T10:03:00.000-05:00

OK, this promises to be a somewhat sentimental and sappy post, but I can't help it. This is where my head is every year on Thanksgiving.

11 years ago, I was living in Las Vegas with my husband (then fiance). We were both working in casinos and managed to have the same days off - Tuesday and Wednesday. We were planning a wedding, strapped for cash and holidays paid double time. When asked if we would be willing to work Thanksgiving day, we discussed it and decided that since we had no family in the area, Thanksgiving would be pretty much just another day for us. And the whole pilgrims and indians thing is weak (wonder how the native americans in this country celebrate thanksgiving). We both agreed to work that day - I worked 9am to 5pm, he worked 2pm to 10pm.

I worked all day, the casino was quieter than usual and the Bingo parlor (a massive place - one of the world's largest at the time) was nearly empty. As the day wore on, I realized this was not just another day. People were with their families - a rare occurrence in Vegas. People were eating turkey, watching football (the Race and Sports Book area was doing a brisk business that day), visiting with cousins, eating pumpkin pie...

I went home to our Junior One Bedroom apartment in a nice complex in the crappy part of town, and nobody was on the streets. Nobody was dealing crack. Nobody was peeing behind the dumpster at the 7-11 (we had a great view from the balcony at our apartment). Even the 6 foot tall black hooker with the ass-length blonde wig was nowhere to be found.

I walked into the empty apartment and headed straight for the booze. Found some Bailey's Irish Cream and had a couple of drinks. Opened the fridge, found some eggs, milk, celery. I hadn't even shopped.

The apartments where we lived were rather inexpensive and convenient, plus there was a decent pool. So when friends came to visit, a few just moved in. My best friend lived next door for a couple of years (we were all in our wandering around phase at that time), a friend of hers came to visit and moved in two doors down from her. By this Thanksgiving, my best friend was gone, but Brandy was still there and her mom had come down to have Thanksgiving with her.

Brandy was beautiful. I mean the type of beauty you just want to drink. She was full of life, young and fun. Always smiling and laughing. She'd had a fling with James, a guy from England on a fishing boat in AK and when he came to visit, he moved in too and they got married. Brandy worked in a bar (yes, we went through all the jokes). James, to my knowledge, never really did much but he was charming. Brandy's mom was a lot like Brandy, but sort of the older, jaded, sad version. She worked in a "titty bar" in Oregon. She had the remnants of that same kind of beauty but it was really worn out on her.

Brandy somehow realized that I was sitting home alone and came over to invite me to Thanksgiving dinner at her place (3 doors down). I accepted, gratefully. I was thankful to have a place to go and family to be with. I walked in and Brandy and James were there, along with Brandy's mom and a couple of regulars from Brandy's bar, who like me, had noplace else to go. I was handed a Budwiser. In a can. I don't eat meat or poultry so I sat on the floor eating veggies and cranberry sauce from a can and listening to Brandy's mom tell stories from her "titty bar" in her cigarettes and whiskey voice. I tried, really tried, to give the bar regulars a chance, but they were a couple of drunken losers with only sad stories to tell. I appreciated being included, and Brandy was a shining light, but all in all it was without a doubt one of the most depressing days of my life.

I stuck around for a while and then headed back to my place, full of Bud from a can and cranberry sauce. Called my family - all the aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings eating good food at my aunt's house, laughing, watching football, reconnecting. I cried.

Every year on Thanksgiving, I remember that day as I sit with the 40 family members who gather now at my cousin's house. I watch the kids playing, creating memories of what Thanksgiving should be. I talk to my cousins and family members - some of whom I only see once a year. I eat till I want to throw up and know there are people drinking bud from a can and eating Stove Top Stuffing and feeling thankful to have that. There are people sitting alone with 3 eggs and some celery in the fridge. There are people in homeless shelters and shelters for victims of domestic violence. There are people who have nobody left.

Each year, I remember exactly how much I do have. And I am thankful.

Meet our new addition!

2005-11-15T12:29:00.000-05:00

I have been procrastinating posting this until I had the perfect picture, but I haven't managed to A) take the perfect picture and B) upload it to the computer so I could post it. No more procrastinating, here she is. This is her picture from the Petfinder profile:

She was given up supposedly for killing the family's chickens on the farm in VA. We'll never know what really happened, but it's clear she was not well treated there. (She does show an active interest in the geese though.) She came with the name "JJ." Ixnay on the JJ. So we began the process of trying to come up with a name for her.

Beastie was voted down, as were Dipthong, Artemis, Kukla, Dingo and about a bazillion others I came up with. Kali would have been a good choice - the goddess with two faces, but my younger daughter's middle name is Cali so that wouldn't do.

She comes to the office with me most days and is such a calming influence that my mother suggested we name her granddog "Therapy."

The girls thought Poupee would be good, French for Doll. Husband said no way are we naming our dog anything with poop in it.

He decided on Luna. Her face has a dark side and a light side...you can even see craters in her coloring if you look a certain way. But I know a couple of other Luna animals and thought we should find something else.

So I set about researching the perfect name: goddesses, Greek and Roman. Things with two faces. Lesser known and pagan goddesses. She's part Australian Shepherd and part Collie, but I can't exactly name her "Shrimponthebarbie" now can I? Came home with a list. All voted down, with one exception: Sybele.

Sybele was a pagan goddess later incorporated into Artemis. She was the goddess of wild animals, especially Lions and Bees. LIONS and BEES! My older daughter's name translates to Honeybee. Younger daughter: Lion. What are the chances? Dad says Sybele pronounced like "SIH-bih-lee." But I can't say it without a Southern twang: Sy-bEHlll.

Of course by then Luna was a done deal. It took me so long to come up with a good name that they had all decided Luna was her name and she was even responding. I asked my friend Polina, who is Russian, how to say Moon in Russian. LooNAH. Then I had a dream - a big fat anxiety dream and right smack in the middle of it I remember telling myself "I can't keep looking for any more names, fuck it - her name is Luna." So my subconscious named her Luna.

Her middle name is Sybele.

And I get to call her: LunaSyBELL! But I usually just say Luna. She likes it when I say it the Russian way: LuNAH.

So. Luna Sybele has a home and a name and she is the sweetest dog - ever. She is getting used to the kids' noise and likes to herd them. She is a very happy dog and would make a terrible guard dog because she LOVES strangers. She wags her whole body when we come home.

Any my 7-year old daughter? The one who gave me SUCH trouble this summer? Is a changed kid. I have never, ever seen her this consistently happy. Luna is a wonderful addition and I promise to post more (better) pictures as soon as I can.

Creepy Doll Soap Company

2005-11-04T14:13:00.000-05:00

Occasionally I run across something so bizarre I really don't know what to do with it and file it away in "favorites" until such time as I can begin to process it. One such site is the Lowell McNaughton Natural Soap Company and their "spokesmodel," creepy doll Rhonda.

Caption: Oh Dear! Rhonda is in trouble. She has discovered the luxurious pleasures of Lowell McNaughton Soaps and has gone on a bathing extravaganza. There are no signs of her coming up for air any time soon, and she says, "come on along and join in the fun"!

We are instructed to "Go to SHOP NOW to see what happens to Rhonda next." You have to scroll down to see the best.

Here's one of my favorites:

My caption thoughts: (Um, you know what? I bet I don't even need to say it.)

For more fun, click on Rhonda's Endeavors and Adventures.

Talk amongst yourselves.

Quote of the Day

2005-11-02T11:09:00.000-05:00

In trying to come up with a name for our new dog (more on that later), my 7yo suggested Poupee (poo-pay - French for "doll"). My husband said he's not naming a dog anything with poop in it.

7yo says "I wonder what the French word for poop is, since they've already used poopay."

What type of villain are you?

2005-10-26T13:00:00.000-04:00

What Type of Villain are You?

mutedfaith.com.

I am Super Villain, it seems. Thanks to PFG of Do Not Enter the Tea Room for this quiz. I love being in league with Lex Luthor. And don't I look mad? I'm off now to blow up the Black Eyed Peas.

"My Humps"

2005-10-21T09:55:00.000-04:00

I just don't even know where to begin on the lyrics to this song I heard on the radio this morning. My lovely lady lumps? What you gonna do wit all that breast? I am not the Slap of the Day blogger, but this song, the writer, the "artists" (Black Eyed Peas) and the people who play it all need a healthy SLAP!

Black Eyed Peas

My Humps

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)

I drive these brothers crazy,
I do it on the daily,
They treat me really nicely,
They buy me all these ice-ys.
Dolce & Gabbana,
Fendi and then Donna
Karan, they be sharin'
All their money got me wearin'
Fly gearrr but I ain't askin,
They say they love my ass 'n,
Seven Jeans, True Religion's,
I say no, but they keep givin'
So I keep on takin'
And no I ain't taken
We can keep on datin'
I keep on demonstrating.

My love, my love, my love, my love
You love my lady lumps,
My hump, my hump, my hump,
My humps they got u,
She's got me spending.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, on me, on me

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What u gon' do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I'm a make, make, make, make you scream
Make u scream, make you scream.
Cos of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps. (Check it out)

I met a girl down at the disco.
She said hey, hey, hey yea let's go.
I could be your baby, you can be my honey
Lets spend time not money.
I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff,
Milky, milky cocoa,
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight.

They say I'm really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin' a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin' at my lump, lump.
U can look but you can't touch it,
If u touch it I'ma start some drama,
You don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don't pull on my hand boy,
You ain't my man, boy,
I'm just tryn'a dance boy,
And move my hump.

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps [x3]
In the back and in the front.
My lovin' got u,
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, on me, on me.

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon' do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I'ma make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.
What you gon do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off this hump.
What you gon' do wit all that breast?
All that breast inside that shirt?
I'ma make, make, make, make you work
Make you work, work, make you work.
She's got me spendin'.
Spendin all your money on me and spendin' time on me
She's got me spendin'.
Spendin' all your money on me, on me, on me.

Ruth Needs

2005-10-19T09:49:00.000-04:00

Stolen from Trina's blog, who stole it from biggerkrissy's blog (and that's as far back as I'm going)...here's the game (no tagging involved, unless you elect to tag yourself): Go go google. Type in "(your name here) needs" and see what pops up. Post the top 10 results. Here's mine. I had to go 12...

1. "Ruth needs a hug" Don't we all though?

2. "Quite frankly, Ruth needs a man. Or a woman!" Ummmm...

3. "Perhaps it was a reminder that God's power is what Ruth needs to heed, not man's shallow disdain, as Mr. Benson taught her." Right. Mr. Benson. How could I have forgotten?

4. "Ruth needs to be cleaned desperately" Not true, I was cleaned just this morning.

5. "Ruth needs a team of committed people to pray for her and her ministry" Amen, sister.

6. "Ruth needs help knowing what to do when Naomi decides to return to Israel" I do! It's such a difficult decision.

7. "Ruth needs to make a dentist’s appointment as soon as possible" OK, OK.

8. "Ruth needs to photograph things or use her own "clip art" collection" No, I much prefer stealing things off the web.

9. "Ruth needs a short course in label-reading" I'm very good at label-reading!

10. "Ruth needs only 160 one thousandths of a second" For...?

11. "Ruth needs to go on her home oxygen supply" There are times, for sure.

12. "Ruth needs more of a part than what she was given" My part is big enough, thank you.

Today's fragrance: My longtime love, Ysatis by Givenchy. I was given a tiny parfum bottle of this when it was released in the UK in 1985 and I fell instantly in love with it. I wore it almost exclusively until about 2 years ago and now my fragrance collection is...well...*ahem* large. I was actually afraid that my taste might change and I would no longer love Ysatis, but I ran across the shower gel and lotion last night and decided today would be an Ysatis day. It still quickens my pulse. I was married in this scent, and wore it every day and for major events for ages. I'm glad to know that 20 years after first encountering this one, I love it just as much. Glorious tuberose chypre, perfect for any occasion. If I had to choose one fragrance to wear for the rest of my life (banish the thought) I'd probably go right back to this one, as it has withstood the test of time. I'll never be tired of it.

Per Jan Moran, the notes:
Top Notes: Mandarin, bergamot, ylang-ylang, galbanum, orange blossom, coconut, rosewood, greens, aldehydes
Heart Notes: Rose, jasmine, polianthes, iris, tuberose, ylang-ylang, carnation, narcissus
Base Notes: Bay rum, vetiver, patchouli, oakmoss, sandalwood, clove, vanilla, amber, musk, honey, civet, castoreum

Tagged!

2005-10-14T11:34:00.000-04:00

I am honored to have received my very first Tagging from mireille of c'est chic. I have been charged with writing twenty random facts about myself and then tagging 5 other bloggers. Here goes!

1. I rarely wear makeup.
2. I have enough perfume to keep me fragranced for at least 10 years.
3. I own enough books that if I did nothing else but read all day I could read nonstop for at least five years without re-reading a single book.
4. My current obsession is: adopting a dog for our family. Two in the running right now, but #1 on my list is getting a lot of interest, so I could use a lot of good "send Gracie to cjblue" vibes!
5. My middle name is Cara.
6. My daughters are 1/4 British, 1/4 Dutch, 1/8 Russian, 1/8 Austrian, 1/8 German and 1/8 Lakhota.
7. We gave them each a Native American name in addition to their first and middle names.
8. I have been married to an incredible man for 10 years.
9. I am almost 6 feet tall.
10. I do not like herbal tea.
11. I work with my parents.
12. My first dog was named Petrushka.
13. I have two sisters and a brother who are triplets.
14. I have a part time job doing tupperware-like parties where I sell "marital aids" and the like.
15. My two sisters and I have all had a horrible Tom boyfriend. Nobody in my family is allowed to date a Tom any more, and don't cry calling him Thomas; that doesn't work either. With us, the only good Tom is a gay Tom. I have a few wonderful gay Toms in my life.
16. I love tequila.
17. My best friends all live far away from me now.
18. I met my husband while working in a casino in Las Vegas.
19. Arrogance and ignorance drive me crazy.
20. I spent 6 months (October-March) on a boat in the middle of the Bering Sea closer to Siberia than the United States, processing crab.

I tag: Writerchick of YerBeezWax, PFG of Do Not Enter the Tea Room, WinterWheat of Yelling Fire in a Crowded Theater, Trina of My Life My Words My Mindand Atreau of ¡Ombligo! You all must next post 20 random facts about yourselves and choose 5 other people to do the same. Happy tagging!

Today's fragrance: L'Artisan Safran Troublant. This is the Philtre d'Or from the trio Les Epices de la Passion. Sold as a trio of 15 ml bottles in a red hatbox, the presentation is lovely. But I don't want to have to buy 3 fragrances to get the one I really want. I want this one in a big bottle. All alone. Keep the cute box.

Safran Troublant means Saffron Spell (not troubled or troubling saffron as I first thought). It starts off strong with glorious spice and lovely saffron, like being in an Indian restaurant, but not overpowering. The spice soon mellows to a spicy woodsy vanilla (not foody vanilla) scent. This is somehow completely not what I expected, although now it seems perfect. It's beautiful, warm and comfortable. Perfect for Fall. Unfortunately, it only lasts a couple of hours. I won't be buying three to get one, but I will cherish my decant and wear it well.

Beauty and Weight

2005-10-11T10:31:00.000-04:00

I had the following conversation on a message board recently:

Me: I am in love with Queen Latifah. She's my hero.
Anon: I like her too, very genuine and pretty, beautiful skin and smile.
Me: So comfortable with herself, great head on her shoulders and a great role model. Doesn't take crap from anybody.
Anon: A great personality always wins hands down.

And this conversation has been running through my head ever since. I find it interesting that when people (usually women) want to say something nice about women who are anything over a size 6 (when they're feeling generous), they single out particular features: pretty face; nice smile; beautiful skin.

But the most disturbing part of this conversation is the last sentence which I was completely unable to respond to, because I didn't want to get nasty. "A great personality always wins hands down."

What the flying fuck is that supposed to mean?

Well, I know what it means. It means that women of size, voluptuous women, overweight women, however you want to say it, are not supposed to be beautiful. We are not allowed to use the word "beautiful" when we speak of a woman who does not starve herself. Pretty face, if only she wasn't a freaking pig, is what they're really saying.

And don't tell me that Marilyn Monroe was a size 16, cause she wasn't.

So...why does this bug me? Because I am nowhere near a size 6? I guess I take it personally, a little, but more than that, it's the fact that I don't think she realizes how horrible "compliments" like that sound. I think it's so ingrained in our culture that you have to be thin - even skinny - to be beautiful, that many women don't even realize they have these prejudices. Forget black, you know we can't talk about that, so let's just say that since Queen Latifah has an ASS...she has great skin. Her personality WINS over what? The size of her body? Why should her personality have to WIN? Why can't it complement the rest of her? I'll say it: Queen Latifah is beautiful and an inspiration to women of any size or color.

There's a line in the movie Beauty Shop where she asks her daughter "Do these pants make my butt look big?" Daughter responds "Yes." She says "Good."

This is a woman who is comfortable with herself. She is no size 6, but she is BEAUTIFUL. Not only that, this is a woman who raps about using birth control, not allowing men to hit women, demanding to be treated with respect... Her music and words are empowering to all people of all backgrounds, and especially black women. She grew up in Newark, NJ - I know Newark, NJ and let me tell you, it's no treat; especially when she was growing up there. She is now a household name. She has overcome unbelievable personal obstacles and presents herself with dignity, respect for others and respect for herself. She believes in herself so we do too.

And the best thing Anonymous can say about her is "Pretty smile?"

Please, people. Think twice. The next time somebody tells me I have a pretty face they won't be able to say my personality wins.

The JAR Experience

2005-10-06T09:55:00.000-04:00

A recent perfume-sniffing trip to NYC began at Bergdorf-Goodman. I love walking around the B-G beauty and fragrance department. It's spacious, beautiful, has an incredibly array of fragrances and the Sales Associates are friendly and knowledgeable.

I walked over to talk to my friend Tom of Etro (I love Tom. And Etro.), and was a little surprised to see the area that had been Guerlain turned into a rather intimidating and sparsely furnished velvety deep purple room, the entrance flanked by two tall beautiful men in gorgeous suits. As I talked to Tom, I kept glancing over at the room , as if somehow it was planning to swallow me up. I had no intention of going in. Tom said "Have you been in to JAR?" I said no, it scares me. He laughed at me and said "You should go in, it's fun!" Mr. cjblue said it reminded him of the high stakes Baccarat room at Caesar's Palace in Vegas. I said, yeah that works. Tom made us go in.

Franz with the Mona Lisa smile took us over to his table. I entered a kind of dreamlike trance state as I looked around me. The chandeliers, the velvety purple walls, the plush carpeting, the ceiling - oh, the ceiling! It was a crazy marbley purplegrey with a massive lightning bolt striking right above our heads. The table was set with seven lovely little rounded laydown bottles on one end, sitting on what looked to be suede pouches. In front of us was a display of seven clear glass rounded boxes, each one containing what looked to be an artfully crumpled piece of silk or chamois.

Franz began the presentation, his soothing voice entrancing me so that I had to force myself to concentrate and even then I only heard about every third word. Joel Arthur Rosenthal the Paris jeweler is the creator of the JAR scents. He almost never grants interviews, blah blah, images of Howard Hughes or some other millionaire recluse flashing through my mind. Before Franz opened the first glass box, we were instructed to let the scent come to us and not actively sniff it or reach for it.

This is when everything really went soft-porn deam to me. Here's Franz (in the dream I guess I'm naked but he's still in his impeccable suit) holding out each glass box with the heavily scented crumpled chamois, undulating it under my nose so the scent can waft up to me. I say to him "Is that pepper?" or "I smell cinnamon" and his mysterious smile holds firm. He informs me that they do not discuss notes, rather they prefer to allow each person to experience each fragrance for him or herself. So we continue on, with the wafting and the undulating and the trance, much smiling and nodding and little soft "ahh"s. I might have been a bit uncomfortable if I weren't in a dream, but I'm rarely uncomfortable in my soft porn dreams.

I tried and tried to get a handle on the fragrances, but I could have sat there all day sniffing. It was 10 am and already I had sniffed about 20 fragrances. I was well on my way to sensory overload and then to present my somewhat taxed olfactory system with these heady, huge and complex scents was really, well, there was no making sense of any of it. The only exclamation point in this was when the unnamed fragrance (its name is a symbol: the JAR lightning bolt) was undulated gently under my nose and I reeled back in shock. I think I almost fell off my chair. It certainly wasn't the worst thing I have ever smelled, but it was a shock for sure and slammed be back into the present. I would like to sniff it again (I think) but it will have to be my first sniffing experience of the day and possibly my only. Love to get a handle on that one.

We made it to the end of this somewhat ridiculous, affected presentation. I decided to try Diamond Waters. I will say that it sat on my skin for HOURS, morphing its variations on a theme. It was interesting but not necessarily compelling. And certainly not enough to make me want to part with over $400 for an ounce. Fortunately I am not a fan of carnation, because Golconda, which was the first JAR fragrance and is certainly the most well known, is truly a stunning carnation creation. Anybody who loves carnation should try this one.

The seven fragrances range in price from the high$300s to the high $700s for an ounce of parfum extrait. That ounce would last me a very very long time and this is certainly a unique and interesting line, but I didn't find one that I loved enough to even wish I had the money. And in retrospect, the dream was a little disturbing.

Today's fragrance: Caron French Cancan. These days, it is rare that a fragrance really sparks my imagination and captivates me. The last two have both been Carons. First Caron Narcisse Noir and now French Cancan. I'm completely in love and can't stop sniffing myself. Head over heels. Think they'd accept my firstborn as payment? Notes: jasmine, lilac, violet, lily of the valley, rose, orange blossom, patchouli, iris, sandalwood, amber, oakmoss (thank you to Bois de Jasmin for this information)

From the Caron website: FRENCH CANCAN, THE STORY
In 1936, Parisian life is at its peak: it’s the time that cabaret divas steal the limelight from the elegant and beautiful women of the Champs Elysées. Being on the pulse of Parisian chic, CARON was not insensitive to Gai Paris’ pleasures, and created French Cancan, translating that devilish dance where women dare bare more than there ankles into a bouquet of voluptuous flowers… But well aware that her clients on the Place Vendôme might not find the allusion to their taste, Félicie Wanpouille originally destined this perfume for distribution in the US alone. Its success on that side of the Atlantic, and the easing up of social mores, guaranteed it continued success in post-war Europe.

Compilation for my kids

2005-09-23T11:09:00.000-04:00

Before I get started, though, I would like to make a Public Service Announcement: This Sunday, September 25, is Laura's birthday. Pop over there and wish her a happy one! Thanks.

IF I happened to be tech savvy enough to figure out how to download music, this is the compilation CD I’d make for my kids (my compilation-making days ended when I switched from cassettes to CDs, but I used to be pretty good at it). Most of these songs are favorites for both of them. Dvorah is 7, Ariela is 4. These are their most-requested songs in the car. (In no particular order.)

Zulal is topping the car chart right now. This is an Armenian a capella folk trio. Sounds weird, I know, but they’re fantastic and the kids LOVE singing along in Armenian (no, we're not Armenian nor do we actually understand a single word) and hearing the story from the CD insert, what the song is about. They love the song Ghapama which is about a delicious squash dish somebody’s cooking and the entire village shows up to partake. But there’s only one squash.

Dixie Chicks are a big favorite. One day they were in the back seat fighting and I put on Sin Wagon reeeeeealllly loud. It starts with this big, loud Nascar guitar riff and shocked them into silence. Then they started rocking out. We’re not exactly church-going folks, so “sin” wasn’t in their vocabulary. Dvorah thinks sin is “When you stay up too late, drink tequila and don’t listen to your parents.” Ariela thinks “mattress dancing” is, you know, “jumping on the mattress and dancing around.” Clearly a sin. I haven’t introduced them to Goodbye Earl just yet. I love the Dixie Chicks. They’re down to earth, funny and not afraid to speak their mind. (I had a link here which I thought was recent, but it's not so never mind.)

Tom Waits’ song Anywhere I Lay my Head cracks them up every time. They think he’s the Cookie Monster. This song has the added bonus of morphing after 2 minutes into a burlesque-y horn & cymbal bit, which they call “the elephant circus dance!”

Sean Paul Get Busy is Ariela’s theme song. One of them anyway. She is positive he’s saying “Shake that thing, miss Ariela, shake that thing, yeah, Bella Bella…”

They Might be Giants’ Istanbul, not Constantinople is in heavy rotation too. Ariela sings “Even old New York, was once new Hamsterdam.”

David Francey, the Canadian Folk Singer, sings Red Winged Blackbird. This is a really pretty song, they heard him perform it in Nova Scotia a couple of years back, they love to make blackbird noises in the car and they know all the words. I have to sing it in an overdone Scottish accent.

Lennie Gallant, another Canadian folk singer, sings several that they love. Destination has a driving train rhythm and is half in French, which I have translated for them and they love to translate back to me. Meet me at the Oasis is a beautiful song with an Arabic feel. They have met Lennie several times and rock out at his shows.

Jewel. The album “Spirit” lives in my car, and they pretty much love the whole thing. Their top 3 favorites are What’s Simple is True, Hands, and Kiss the Flame. I guess her voice is pretty much in the right range for 4 & 7 year old girls, because they love singing along and can easily hit the high notes. I, on the other hand, have a bit more trouble.

Indigo Girls’ Southland in the Springtime is, of course, the family anthem. This one we don’t even need to play the CD for any more, and it’s a bedtime song too. They think it was written for us. Welcome Me is another favorite, although with the IG, there are too many favorites to list.

Today’s fragrance: Ormonde Jayne Tolu. Tolu is hard to describe...think old-world library but not musty. Overstuffed chairs, comfort, lingering smell of incensey tobacco. Lush and comforting and definitely unique. It's that crazy resin. The resin combined with the slight edge from the sage keeps this from being too plush a fragrance, if that makes sense. I can sit on the overstuffed chairs without sinking in up to my neck. Here are the notes:
- Top: Juniper berry, orange blossom and clary sage
- Heart: Orchid, Moroccan rose and muguet
- Base: Tolu, tonka bean, golden frankincense and amber

Oops

2005-09-15T11:14:00.000-04:00

I had a difficult summer. My 7-year old daughter spent every waking moment testing and tormenting me and her younger sister. My husband was working this summer, where I was home with them, but that makes no difference...she doesn't pull this crap with him.

My mother suggested therapy. My mother's answer to everything is therapy and don't get me wrong, it's helpful in some cases but in some it just makes kids feel like there's something WRONG with them when they're really normal kids going through normal kid stuff. My mother thinks there's some deep, underlying issue.

It took me a while to figure it out, but I finally realized it was about power and control and my job was to remain firm (without losing my shit - a tall order at best), maintain control and enforce rules. *Sigh* Kids do go through these phases.

One day I had her in her bedroom "cooling off" - which is far more about ME cooling off - for about the third time in as many hours. I was on the phone with my husband, at my wits' end and I said "This is about power. She thinks she can break me down and start running this house her way, with her own rules? She wants to be alpha female, well she's got another thing coming cause that is NOT going to happen! (really raising voice now) EVERYBODY in this house is beta after me!

*ahem.* Except you, babe. heh heh."

But I didn't really mean that last part and he knows it too. Cause even the alpha male is beta to the alpha female...everybody knows that, don't they?

I blame my mother. I'll work it out in therapy.

Warm Fuzzies...get 'em while you can.

2005-09-14T10:59:00.000-04:00

The Quilt of Belonging

While in Nova Scotia, it was decided that we would visit Halifax’s Pier 21 – Canada’s version of Ellis Island. Note I say “it was decided” because it was not MY decision. It turned out to be a really interesting place, rich with history and fascinating stories. Extremely well done.

But when we first arrived, my parents were already there and my mom said to me “You have to go into this room, they have the World’s Largest Quilt on display.

Whoopee, I thought. The world’s largest quilt.

Like a good daughter and mommy, I took the kids in to see the World’s Largest Quilt. I bypassed all the information of course so it took me a little while to figure out what it was all about. It’s called the Quilt of Belonging.

I am not a crafter. I do not knit; I can sew a button or fix a seam, I do not crochet and once, for a brief moment while watching H&G TV, I thought “I should take up quilting!” and then realized that would result in a box full of quilting stuff sitting around the house unused, dusty and inspiring guilt. Ain’t no way in my current life I’m ever going to make a quilt. I recognize that about myself.

But the Quilt of Belonging…wow. It is a moving and inspiring piece. Made up of 263 squares, each one representing a nation or aboriginal culture found in Canada. The whole *is* greater than the sum of its parts.

From the website: "The project was designed to create a better understanding between Canadians of all origins. Our vision statement reflects this purpose: Our vision is to create a collaborative work of art that will recognize Canada's diversity, celebrate our common humanity and promote harmony and compassion among people."

It’s a staggering testament to the people of Canada. Celebrating the diversity that makes it such a wonderful place. We had a wonderful time in that room, walking around looking for the bits and pieces that make up who we are: England, Russia, Austria, United States, Lakota (Sioux), Holland, France, Germany. The quilt is organized into sections by background color: Aboriginal Peoples of Canada, Africa, Asia, Australasia, Caribbean, Central and North America, Europe, Oceania and other Ocean Islands, South America.

I was lucky to catch the showing at Pier 21; it moved on just a few days later and goes next to Newfoundland, I believe. They had a book on display, with a picture of each square and the story behind it – a beautiful book. I ran to buy the book but they were all sold out. I’ll be pre-ordering the next printing.

You can look through the 263 textile artworks here, and read the stories behind them.

What an amazing project.

Today's Fragrance: Chanel No. 22, parfum. This is a somewhat soapy and yet smoky, incensey sophisticated scent. I prefer to spray on my fragrances rather than dab and this was dabbed. But I've had it on now for a couple of hours and it's still there. Less soapy now than on initial application, more incensey. I like that better. I don't know if I'll need a full bottle of this one, but it wears well and is not so sophisticated that it can't be worn in the daytime.

I feel good.

2005-09-12T10:08:00.000-04:00

Every rare once in a while, the heavens open up, the light shines down and things seem to fall into place.

Friday I got a phone call from the Board of Ed in our township, offering to move Ariela from the morning-only spot in the grant-funded pre school into the full day program. I got goosebumps...I could not have been more thrilled. This means I no longer have to do all the crazy running around in the middle of the day to take her from school to school, an hour and a half of driving, picking up and dropping off, and pay through the nose for the privilege. I dropped her off this morning with her new teacher in her new class and realized the teacher she now has is the one I wished she had been assigned. The curriculum is superb, this teacher taught it last year when it was a pilot program and she just exudes warmth and caring. Ariela is going to thrive in this program.

Saturday I went to see Rachel become Bat Mitzvah and not only did I make it through my torah portion (with flying colors, if I do say so myself), but she did an amazing job. It's a lot of work, preparing to become Bat Mitzvah and she was wonderful. I saw family and friends and extended family and we all had a really great time.

Sunday Dvorah woke up, got her backpack, found her homework and did it perfectly, without being asked or nagged. She focused on it, knew exactly what to do and had it done before I even got out of bed. She is clearly excited about this school year and that makes me happy too. When she is productive and focused, that kid can move mountains.

This morning after dropping off Ariela, I went to thank the woman who facilitated the move and discovered she has a new position she's enjoying immensely.

And I realized that with the money I'm saving on pre-school, I can stop stressing about bills and actually DO something about the Katrina situation. I had been feeling helpless and money was super tight after the summer. Now I can donate to a worthy organization (or two) and feel like, in some small way, we've helped.

I got an email update yesterday from a couple who have a daughter about a year and a half old, who was born severely disabled, and their lives have been focused since that moment on helping and caring for their baby. She IS their life. I can't begin to imagine myself in that situation, and how they manage to stay positive is beyond me.

I have two healthy, happy beautiful children. I have a roof over my head, a job, transportation. We never go hungry and we have clothing and shoes. And now I can help a little - pay it forward. Today is a good day.

Yad

2005-09-09T13:21:00.000-04:00

It cost me $52 to fill my gas tank this morning and I drove here, ranting in my head thinking - Oh, nobody is going to want to read my blog at all any more if all I do is bitch. But I had to stop on the way at the Judaica shop to pick up a gift for my cousin Rachel, who is becoming Bat Mitzvah tomorrow.

I had seen the signs on the highway but had never stopped in to this particular store. I always get a little nervous walking into Judaica shops because, although I have been a Jew my entire life, I don't know all that much and feel a bit out of my element. But this morning I walked in and saw a beautiful selection of kiddush cups, menorahs, seder plates, Roah Hashanah stuff, and I felt this instant, soothing connection with my ancestors. Our people have been using this stuff for thousands of years. The holidays, traditions...they are part of me and where I come from. My ancestors died defending the right to live our lives in peace and practice our religion. I always say for me Judaism is not a religion, it's a culture and a tradition. It's a connection.

I don't always agree with the way things are done though, and definitely have problems with some restrictions placed on women in the past and even now in the more "traditional" sectors. People make their choices, and have all their reasons to do so. I just like having the freedom to choose for myself.

As I walked around the shop, guided by a knowledgeable, extremely friendly and helpful sales assistant, I felt soothed by the beauty and the atmosphere. I began thinking of what would be an appropriate gift for a 13-year old girl on the occasion of her Bat Mitzvah, and remembered that, at least a few years ago, the first woman to ever become Bat Mitzvah was still alive. This is a staggering thought to me still - that in my grandparents' time, women were not allowed up on the bimah, nor to read from the Torah. Even on the occasion of my own Bat Mitzvah, in a Conservative synagogue in 1983, I was not offered a chance to read from the Torah. I read from the Haftorah only. I didn't fuss about it then because I didn't know any better, and quite frankly had enough to do already. Bat Mitzvah means literally, "Daughter of the Commandments."

I wonder if Rachel knows that for thousands of years women were not allowed to participate in this mitzvah. I often think 13 is a crazy age to have this ritual of passing into adulthood, with the kid up there smiling through braces and hoping she gets a bunch of money to blow at the mall, but 13 it is. I bet that it will take her a while to appreciate fully this occasion, or to really understand what it means. It did for me.

I ended up choosing for her a beautiful hand-painted wooden Torah pointer (yad), by Israeli artist Emanuel (picture above). Since we are not allowed to touch the Torah, we use the yad to keep our place when we read from it. I thought it was a meaningful gift to give a girl who, not so many years ago, would not have been allowed to point at the Torah, let alone read from it. I hope she appreciates it...I'll let others give her money to blow at the mall.

I hate September (aka my current stress list)

2005-09-07T15:36:00.000-04:00

1. Dvorah's anxiety over returning to school and entering 2nd grade. Oh, how I remember that feeling. (Fortunately, she had a great first day and was practically jumping out of her skin at the bus stop this morning...in sharp contrast to yesterday's subdued anxious tone.)

2. Trying to sort out the HUGE horrible mess the township has handed me by awarding me a mornings-only spot in the highly coveted Grant-funded pre-K program with fantabulous curriculum and no options for after-care.

3. My anxiety over returning to work and organizing a large conference, which I have no experience doing, for the end of October.

4. I have to learn a torah portion, to be chanted this Saturday morning at my cousin's Bat Mitzvah. It's really slow going and I'm afraid I won't have it, even though I have had plenty of time to learn it.

5. Helping my sister move and getting some new-to-us furniture moved into this house which is a complete shithole and I'm not even really sure we want the stuff.

6. In all my spare moments I'm just furious at various government agencies and people over - well, this big fucking mess. Completely disgusted and embarrassed for our country.

7. Many other minor, day-to-day stresses: Doing the big season-switch clothing sort and figuring out what I need to keep my kids clothed this year. Sending healthy lunches that they'll eat. Who is going to watch the kids for back-to-school parent night, when my husband goes to that because I have a board meeting I have to attend and all our babysitters are always too busy? How am I going to resume work and do laundry, shop, cook and provide moral support for my husband who is also working full-time as well as taking demanding graduate school classes?

8. Dealing with dropping off a crying 4-year old at her new school who howls in pain as I park the car that her tummy hurts. Picking up a smiling, happy kid at the end of the day and knowing we're going to have the exact same scene every morning for quite a while. And now doing that twice a day, as I pick her up from morning pre-school and drive her to afternoon pre-school. Man, kids can cut deep.

The month of September for me is the one that always makes me want to sit and cry and bury my head in the sand. It's overwhelming.

But Laura's birthday is in September, so I can't completely hate it.

By request, I will be adding info and impressions of fragrances at the end of my blogspots (when I remember). I give full credit to mireille of c'est chic for a wonderful model of how to include fragrances in my blog without necessarily making it all about fragrances.

So on that note, I give you today's fragrance: Susanne Lang Yellow Blossom. Ylang-Ylang and other florals mixed in here. I get a bit of Linden, maybe some Jasmine and Tuberose...all that stuff so often used to approximate Gardenia. This is lovely on first application, with a big burst of the Linden note. As it dries down, it's mellowing, but I get just the faintest hint of rotting flower. Perhaps the indoles from the Jasmine, but I normally wear Jasmine well. As it continues to evolve on my skin, the rotting flower note fades and I'm left with a very nice floral. This is a very nice white floral, even a hint of tea in the drydown, but it just doesn't move me. And now the rotten smell is back...there must be musk in the base composition of this fragrance - just a tad too much for it to work for me. Musk hates me. I don't think I'll be needing a full bottle of this one.

Hard to focus on the positive right now.

2005-09-06T13:17:00.000-04:00

I have deliberately not written about...well, about anything, really. Because anything I want to write about seems trivial. And the really big stuff I don't feel knowledgeable enough to really write about. So many others have done so, and so eloquently. I am disgusted and horrified by the events in NO and our handling of them. I can't believe we're calling our own citizens REFUGEES. I can not begin to comprehend what happens in people's minds when outside law agencies no longer have any power and people start killing each other in broad daylight.

I continue to be pissed off by gas prices because, although it is trivial in light of so many other things, it is hitting us hard. I know it's higher in Europe, Canada etc. but I also know there are a hell of a lot of people in this country for whom the difference between $1.75/gallon and $3.25/gallon might be the difference between enough food and not enough food for their families...or being able to get to work at all.

I choke on bile as our president stands up and says looters will be prosecuted...and so will price gougers at the pumps. Excuse me, price gouging at the pumps has been happening since the minute this asshole walked into office. Not to mention a thousand other offenses against the people of this country.

And I don't want to get into a political debate, because I can't cite my sources and I don't read enough news to argue intelligently. But we have some nerve talking about Third World countries as if we're a First World country and so far superior when we can allow our own people to die of thirst, call them refugees and allow bodies to float around cities for days on end.

I don't believe my blog has to be all sweetness and light, but I try to focus on the positive, and will be back doing that soon. I just felt like I really needed to say something about this.

I'm back!

2005-09-02T10:39:00.000-04:00

The trip was wonderful. I'm still unpacking and somehow jet-lagged even though I only drove and ferried around. But it was a loooooong drive. Fortunately I love road trips.

I'll write more soon but had to share the best quote of the trip:

'Yonder' is just a Spanish word for 'over dere.'

Said by Ariela, age 4.

Temporary Leave of Absence

2005-08-15T12:47:00.000-04:00

I'm outta here. Been trying to come up with something witty to leave you with in my absence, but doing laundry, packing for every possible need out in the wilds and organizing (not my forte) are not exactly fodder for witty blogposts.

So I will just say, please miss me. I'll tell you all about it when I get back, maybe post a picture, and maybe (just maybe) I'll get a chance to post something while I'm away.

And if you think of me tomorrow, in the car for 12-15 hours with two kids, send patience vibes.

Beth

2005-08-12T11:46:00.000-04:00

I had dinner last night with a good friend I don’t see nearly enough, considering that she’s a 45-minute or less drive from me. We had a great time, reconnected, and promised to try harder to get together more often.

At one point she told me she was talking to a friend and mentioned that we were getting together last night. She had said to her friend “The great thing about Ruth is what you see is what you get. There’s no ulterior motive, no games, no weirdness. I really appreciate that.”

I didn’t get a chance to tell her why I appreciate her. She’s smart, funny, witty, reliable (this is a big one with me), beautiful and direct. No games there either. She’s a great mom, her head is screwed on straight and she gives awesome advice. Plus, she likes shoes and perfume. :D

I don’t have time in my life for flaky people who play games and can’t be counted on. This might be why I don’t have a large group of friends, but the ones I do have, I try to keep.

Anyway, not to get all sappy here, I have been stricken with the sentimentality that comes from reconnecting with somebody I care about. Beth, I wanted to let you know that I appreciate you, and why. Also, please start a blog; I’d love to read your stuff.

And to anybody else reading this, I say: At some point today or in the next few days, tell somebody you appreciate WHY you appreciate them. It’s a good feeling to hear nice things about yourself from somebody whose opinion you value. And I don’t think any of us do it enough.

Mad Cat

2005-08-08T09:35:00.000-04:00

I entered first grade at the age of five. I was ready for school and my parents kind of fudged a few records to get me started. I always said they just wanted me out of the house. I mean, they had triplets at home, two and a half years old. But that’s a different story entirely. The fact is, I was five, ready for school, ready myself to be out of the house, and, if I do say so myself, a rather bright child.

I entered first grade reading fluently. These days that’s not such a big deal, with kids entering enrichment classes and having reading tutors sandwiched between baby gymnastics classes and baby orchestras and all kinds of other programs designed to make your child a genius, prepared to enter Harvard on full scholarship at the age of 12. Plus, teachers now are specifically trained to handle kids who are learning at different levels and have different learning styles. Not so in 1975.

The school flatly (publicly) refused to believe I could read. Even when my parents called me into the Principal’s office, had him pull down a book – ANY book – from his shelf and I read it, with no problem. He claimed I had memorized it. (Later on, when it became illegal for schools to withhold test information from parents, they discovered I had been tested and it was clear to all that I could read.)

Anyway, all this is background. I entered first grade and sat in class day after day, bored out of my mind. They had us coloring big letters, one on a page. “This is ‘A’ week!” Yippee.

One day I came home from school with a picture I had colored. It was a large egg-shaped oval on a piece of paper. Half of it was beautifully colored, in a rainbow of colors, all 3-dimensional and neatly in the lines. The second half was black. Blackest black, scribbled outside the lines with an obviously angry fist. My parents asked me what happened. I said I was coloring the picture, happily being creative, when the teacher had interrupted me and said it was supposed to be all one color. You want one color? You got it.

My parents, hippies, musicians, University educators with all the self-help books educated 1970’s parents should have, were a little concerned.

The next day I came home with a picture of a cat. Not a fuzzy sleeping cat, mind you. A standing upright cat, wearing clothes, with a grimace on its whiskered face, large claws and huge fangs. Underneath, in my first grade handwriting, was the caption “MAD CAT.”

Needless to say, my parents made another appointment to meet with the school administrators later in the week.

The next day, on return from school, I presented my parents with another picture. Looking remarkably like the Mad Cat, here was a picture of a little girl. Standing upright, with a grimace, claws and huge fangs. And just in case they missed the point, I had put a caption underneath: Mad Ruth.

The following Monday I entered the Hartridge School for Girls, and that was the end of our Public School education, with the exception of one year of high school. But I’ll write about that another time.

And when my parents come back from summer vacation, I’m going to make them find the Mad pictures and scan them. You have got to see these. In the meantime, I’ll keep my eye on my own daughters’ artwork but so far the only thing remotely troubling is that in the family portrait my 7yo daughter drew…she’s taller than me.

Arrogance

2005-08-03T14:23:00.000-04:00

The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly.
~ Jim Rohn

None are more unjust in their judgments of others than those who have a high opinion of themselves.
~ Charles Haddon Spurgeon

He is a self-made man and worships his creator.
~ Attributed to John Bright, on Benjamin Disraeli

How haughtily he cocks his nose, to tell what every schoolboy knows.
~ Johnathan Swift

If I cannot brag of knowing something, then I brag of not knowing it; at any rate, brag.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

When men are most sure and arrogant they are commonly most mistaken, giving views to passion without that proper deliberation which alone can secure them from the grossest absurdities.
~ David Hume

To start blindly with a statement is a sign of arrogance and narrow-mindedness, and will lead to conflict. To start blindly with a question is a sign of uncertainty and honesty, and will lead to wisdom.
~ Scott Watson

There it is: it doesn't make any difference who we are or what we are, there's always somebody to look down on, somebody to hold in light esteem, somebody to be indifferent about.
~ Mark Twain

A rather disorganized train of thought

2005-08-01T09:41:00.000-04:00

My dear friend K, who posted on her blog last week that she was expecting a baby in February, has me thinking about friends, community, conception and a whole bunch of other stuff thrown in for good measure. (Wow, I wish I knew how to cook like that! I’m a really boring, follow-the-recipe kind of cook.)

About 7 years ago I had a friend who got married right around age 40 and started immediately, desperately trying to concieve. She'd fill me in on her ovulations and all that other fun stuff and she joined message boards. She would talk about her "online friends" and how this one said that about the miscarriage and the whole group responded with her to another something or other. I remember thinking "What a loser, can't she get any friends in real life?"

And now here I am, finally understanding online friends and just how real life they can be. I wonder sometimes, when I talk about my “perfume friends” to my mom, if she thinks I’m a loser.

Which gets me thinking about community. I discovered an amazing online community of wise, witty, wonderful (mostly) women (more w’s please?) on a certain message board. This is a group of people who share not only their formidable knowledge of perfume but many many other topics and it’s a community I’m proud to be a part of. I have met many of my “perfume friends” in real life, at get-togethers for shopping and sniffing. I plan to meet more in the future. Real relationships we’re creating here. And so I feel that this community, which I feel so much a part of, gives me a sense of belonging that I have been looking for.

When I married my husband and moved back to NJ, where my family is, I had no remaining friends around here. I made some new ones, and I have my family, but I was looking for that sense of community. I joined a synagogue, jumped in with both feet. Inside of a year, I found myself chairing committees and sitting on the Board of Directors. Shortly thereafter I became a Vice President! But after a couple of years of banging my head against the wall, I became disillusioned with the idea of effecting positive change and my relationship with that community has been in steady decline.

I have tried to stick with it, but I feel that part of the reason for belonging to a religious community is spiritual fulfillment, and I’m just not getting that here. So the search begins anew, for another synagogue that won’t bankrupt me (yes, they’re frightfully expensive), will accept my non-Jewish husband without prejudice, and will help to provide a sense of spiritual fulfillment and education for my daughters.

I'd love to hear where others find their fulfillment and community.

What I'm Reading

2005-07-27T12:22:00.000-04:00

The first sentence in this book had me hooked. Somehow it struck me as a strange and yet somehow perfect way to start a book. It set the scene, the mood and gave me an inner chuckle as well. I read it about 8 times before proceeding on to the next one.

"It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression 'As pretty as an airport.' "

About halfway through the book there's a brilliant conversation between one of the main characters and a humorless phychiatric hospital administrator who has just discovered the value of a good joke:

"Well," said Kate, "it goes, 'Why did the chicken cross the road?' "

"Yes? And?"

"And the answer is 'To get to the other side.' "

"I see." Standish considered things for a moment. "And what does this chicken do when it arrives at the other side of the road?"

"History does not relate," replied Kate promptly. "I think that falls outside the scope of the joke, which really only concerns itself with the journey of the chicken acros the road and the chicken's reasons for making it. It's like a little Japanese haiku in that respect."

Kate suddenly found she was enjoying herself. She managed a surreptitious wink at the nurse, who had no idea what to make of anything at all.

"I see," said Standish once again, and frowned. "And do these, er, jokes require the preparatory use of any form of artificial stimulant?"

"Depends on the joke, depends on who it's being told to."

"Hmmm, well, I must say, you've certainly opened up a rich furrow for me, Miss, er. It seems to me that the whole field of humor could benefit from close and immediate scrutiny. Clearly we need to sort out the jokes which have any kind of genuine psychological value from thise which merely encourage drug abuse and should be stopped. Good."

The book is by Douglas Adams. The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul This is my first Adams book (no, I've never read the Hitchiker's Guide) but certainly not the last. I'd recommend this book to any of my friends and thank Laura for recommending it and Aaron for lending it, knowing full well he might not ever see it again.

Camping

2005-07-25T08:42:00.000-04:00

You would think that somebody who has spent, literally, months living in a tent in various campsites would be an expert camper. Not so.

Every summer I think I should take my family camping. Then I am stricken with a sudden feeling of inadequate camper-ness. Where would we go? What do people do when camping? What do they eat?

In the time I spent camping, I was living in a tent somewhat out of necessity. With my friends on our way to Alaska. Or with my husband, basically doing the same thing a couple of years later. So the tent was basically "home base" and we mostly slept there. We ate a lot of sandwiches and dry cereal, with real meals provided for us by local restaurants.

I know how to make a campfire and heat up Campbell's soup, with s'mores for dessert. But people talk about Going Camping like it's a vacation and this to me is mystifying. I don't like the KOA-type places, with video arcades, swimming pools and hoe-downs. The idea of camping to me is to sort of rough it, live outside for a while. But what do people eat? What do they do? How do they make entire meals on a campfire? Do they have special equipment? Where does the coffee come from, if not the Dunkin' Donuts outside the campground gates?

*Sigh* I need a lesson on camping.

Laura

2005-07-18T09:45:00.000-04:00

I am home from visiting Laura and we had our usual talk talk talk kind of visit. I laugh when somebody asks "What did you do?" We reconnected. We have a pattern (big surprise here, it started in college) of getting together and talking until we see blue in the sky. Then, like good little nocturnal creatures, we scuttle off to bed and shut our eyes before it's really day.

I thought it might be different this time. We did leave the house, to get food and a movie and a bottle of wine. Laura's sister had a bit of a crisis and so came down from Massachussetts for the night. So it was Laura, her sister (who I think is wonderful, and feel that she's a part of our extended family) and Laura's friend Aaron, who is helping out Sister by housing her cat for a few weeks to get through the crisis time.

We watched Dodgeball, drank some wine and talked. Listened to Iron Horse's bluegrass version of Metallica songs and some time around 3am, we decided it was time for bed. I thought - this is going to be the first time in *years* that we'll be going to bed before the sky is blue, but I'll go with it. So Sister and Aaron went off to Aaron's place to sleep and hang with kitty. I washed my face, Laura came out, I said "Hey, there's this book I want to show you" and read her the first page of it. Ended up reading half the book to her. The sky turned blue. We scurried off to our crypts and went to sleep - but not before Laura finished the book.

It was wonderful to see Laura. I have never been one of those people who has lots of friends. I have a small handful of close friends, who unfortunately all live too far for me to be able to call them up and say "Hey, I'm having a crappy day; let's meet for coffee."

During one of our conversations Laura said in describing somebody "This is one of those rare and special kind of friends - like you - who doesn't just come along every day."

I didn't get to say thank you. That means a lot.

A note on the Journey Series

2005-07-14T12:20:00.000-04:00

It will continue, but I seem to be stalled on it at the moment. I promise to post it under the "Journey" title so you'll know it's part, but these Journey posts will be interspersed with posts on whatever else I feel like writing about at the moment. Thanks for reading!

You never get a 2nd (3rd, 4th) chance at a first impression.

2005-07-14T11:32:00.000-04:00

Back in my Junior year of University, post-nasty relationship breakup, I was spending a lot of time on the 6th floor of my building in the Quad, with my friend Chris. Chris and I never were a couple, although the rest of the world (including my mother) was sure we were sleeping together. We were just great partying buddies, and spent most of our days together. One evening, I walked out of his room looking for his next door neighbor, a funny guy we called our "party favor." We'd invite him over when we needed to be entertained. He always obliged. I found him on the stairwell with some goth-looking chick who was wrapping rolls of toilet paper around the banister and had made it down almost to the next floor. "What are you doing?" I asked. "Wrapping the banister." came the reply from Neighbor Boy. "Why?" I asked.

Goth Chick looked at me with some serious attitude. "I'M DRUNK, OKAAAYYY???"

Uh, yeah. Fine. Be my guest. Bitch. Chris and I returned to his room.

A month or so later, my younger sister was up visiting me for the weekend the night my ex-boyfriend decided to kill me.

I'm not going to go into the details of our year and a half long relationship, his neediness, my ending it so I could become myself again and not the person I was turning into, his stalkerish behavior, his crazy 8-page letters...

Approximately 6 months after I ended our relationship he decided one night that if he couldn't have me nobody would.

My sister and I were getting ready to go out for the evening when Psycho Boy busted in to my 4th floor room weilding a gun. My first instinct, insanely enough, was anger, not fear. I was furious that this idiot would intrude on my life like this and threaten ME. He shot out a window, shattered my mirror and was chased out of my room by some complete stranger from two floors up (no police, nobody else even responded to our screams), who chased him down four flights of stairs and out into the courtyard, where he lost him. My hero.

Psycho Boy stayed missing for several days, during which my sister and I were treated like a liability and I was forced to move into a new room. A month before the end of the school year, with everything else going on in my life, I had to move the entire contents of my room two floors up. At least I'd be on the same floor as Chris now.

So my sister worked with me, helping me carry stuff upstairs, and we worked into the night, for I had been told by the University that I was to be out of my room that day. We carried my boxes of stuff, milk crates full of records and books, clothing in garbage bags... Almost done, late in the evening, we were carting my mattress up and out of her room walks Goth Girl. "Nice fucking time to start moving in," she says and walks to the bathroom. My sister shut me in my new room while I vented vociferously about this bitch, who does she think she is, if she had any damn idea WHY I was moving, against my will, into a new room, and doing it all night... Yeah. I was pissed.

Later that night, close to 2am, who do I see walking down the hall but My Hero. I stopped him, thanked him profusely for helping out even though he had no clue who we were, if the gun was real...any of it. Just a brave, brave man. I was giving him the update on where things stood when Goth Girl walks out of her room again and says, in her by now signature bitchy tone, "It's 2am. Move out of the hallway!"

We moved out of the hallway and that was it with Goth Girl. Three strikes, she was done in my book. She better hope she never runs into me again.

A week or so later, all settled in, sister gone home, I was hanging out with Chris when he suggested we invite DebbiefromAlaska to come hang with us. She's cool, he assured me, and as Neighbor Boy was not around, we thought we could use some entertainment.

Chris and I walked into DebbiefromAlaska's room and guess who her roommate was. Right. Goth Girl. Chris invited DebbiefromAlaska to come hang with us and said to Goth Girl "You can come too, if you want."

The look I shot him could have melted the Polar Ice Caps. She joined us.

Somehow, possibly due to ingestation of slightly illegal substances, the mood shifted and I found myself sitting on the floor of Chris' room talking to Goth Girl. Whose name was Laura. Who was having some trouble ending a relationship with an abusive asshole of a boyfriend.

The heavens opened up, pigs flew, hell froze over...we clicked.

Fifteen years later, I count Laura as one of a very small handful of true, close friends. I'm leaving tomorrow to visit her overnight and I can't wait. We still laugh at the series of events prior to our becoming friends. Turns out Chris really wanted to invite DebbiefromAlaska over because he wanted to get in Laura's pants, and the only reason she came was because she SAW the look I gave him when he invited her too. And still, every time my sister sees her, she says

"Nice fucking time to be moving in."

So.

2005-07-07T22:00:00.000-04:00

Lots happening Chez cjblue...sorry for the silence. Summer seems to have descended with all the craziness that brings. I promise to resume posting in the next few days and in the meantime, I leave you with a quote from a good friend:

"I like my coffee like I like my men. Big dick."

Journey part 6: Seattle!

2005-06-27T10:29:00.000-04:00

Originally, our plan was to drive all the way into Alaska, up the Alcan (Alaska-Canada) Highway. We were going to talk to people along the way, find our way to some fishing town and get jobs on either a fishing boat or in a cannery. Sharon’s plan was to set up house for us, get a job as a topless dancer and basically be Mom. Her favorite cousin (her mom’s bad girl younger sister, the black sheep) had worked as a topless dancer in the 70’s and Sharon had romanticized the idea, picturing herself making tons of money off boobie-starved fishermen in some nice, clean bar in a fishing town. Sharon had the boobies to do it too. She had visions of making dinner for us all, having it ready on the table when we came home at the end of a hard day in the factory, all slimy and fishy.

We met up with some guys in Montana, outside of Yellowstone who had actually worked in Alaska. They told us driving up into Alaska was a big waste of time – what we needed to do was find our jobs in Seattle and the fishery would get us to where the work was. Plan thus revised, we drove on, by now so road-weary and zoned that a reduction in the amount of time we all had to spend living out of my car was quite welcome.

We got into Oregon and drove to Eugene, where Amanda was from. We spent a day there, which is hazy in my recollection (I’ll leave you to figure out why) and spent the night at Amanda’s house. Eugene’s snapshot is a comfortable, unpretentious, land of VW bugs (the old ones), patchouli and friendly people. Not any place I could live (I’m far too jaded and unfriendly for that) but a nice place to visit.

We spent the night with Amanda and her mom, said our goodbyes and headed North again, towards Seattle. On arrival in Seattle, we immediately found a place to set up camp and began scouring telephone books for information on fisheries. We quickly located the section of town where most of the fisheries had their offices and planned to begin making application the next day.

Back at the campsite we set about making sandwiches and s’mores. A few campsites up from us there were a couple of German guys who had written on the back of their car “HONK WHEN YOUR HORNY” so of course we made quite a show of honking our horn every time they passed by. We found a few boys to party with, who were preparing to leave for their fishery jobs the next day. They spent a few hours with us, filled us in on the job requirements and left us with a massive bottle of Goldenseal. We all took a handful and went to bed.

Journey part 5: Idahoda

2005-06-21T10:49:00.000-04:00

Late in the evening in Idaho, we decided it was time to stop and followed signs from the highway to a campground, somehow ending up on a residential street driving through somebody’s backyard with the sprinklers on. We knew we weren’t in the right place and wondered exactly what did Idaho have against good signs and street lights. They could learn a thing or two from South Dakota. We found our way to a gas station, asked for directions to the nearest campsite and, following those directions we ended up in what looked like a town square. Large, neatly trimmed patch of grass in the middle of town with a fountain in the middle. Um, I hardly think we’re going to pitch a tent there. So we found a cheapo motel and sent Sharon in to make arrangements (she had the credit card). As it was more expensive for more than two people, we told the suspicious woman and four cats behind the desk that there were only two of us. After asking about 7 times if there were really only TWO PEOPLE, she gave Sharon the key and we pulled around to the hotel room. Polina and Amanda covered themselves in sleeping bags in the back seat as Sharon and I unloaded our bags and brought them into the room. The plan was that we’d wait until suspicious woman and cats had gone back to bed and then give the all-clear.

Sharon and I set about getting ready for bed. We changed our clothes and got cleaned up and noticed somebody out by our car! It was a poorly lit parking area so all we could see was a dark figure (Sharon said it definitely wasn’t the suspicious woman) with a flashlight, looking in the windows of the car. We held our breath, hoping Polina and Amanda were doing the same. Shadowy Figure finally tired of looking at what we hoped was a large pile of sleeping bags and walked out of our line of sight. We waited a bit more and then went out to the car to retrieve two very large walking sleeping bags. We were all a bit freaked out but completely exhausted and slept well.

In the morning, we got up earlier than usual so Polina and Amanda could shower and exit the room through a bathroom window while we loaded up the car. We picked them up a couple of blocks away. At the Town Square.

As we passed the sign saying “Welcome to Oregon,” Sharon, video rolling, yelled “GoodBYEEEE Idahoda!”

Amanda spit diet coke through her nose, I fell over laughing, Sharon said “What?!” and Polina kept driving.

Journey part 4: Yellowstone

2005-06-20T14:21:00.000-04:00

I have been wracking my brain for a day‘s worth of memories of Yellowstone. I mean, we planned our trip so we would have a day there. I remember arriving. I remember driving through the post-huge-Yellowstone-fire devastation. I remember seeing deer and buffalo and prairie dogs and Old Faithful.

I remember that I wanted, more than anything, to tip a buffalo (Yeah, yeah, I know - American Bison. So sue me, I called them buffalo back then). I knew of cow tipping and somehow I thought it would be fun to tip a buffalo. The buffalo were in the process of losing their winter coats then, so they looked pretty mangy and I could smell them from 100 yards away. Probably wouldn’t have actually tipped one, since it would have taken all four of us and I think I’m the only one who cared to tip. Then I discovered that tipping cows can result in broken pelvic bones and injure the animal. I thought we’d just knock one over and run away…jump over the fence or something so it couldn’t get us. But I didn’t want to hurt it.

So I ended up buying a little plastic buffalo to keep inside the car (now that Chip was our hood ornament we needed a new dashboard friend). I named him “Tippy” and tipped him frequently.

I remember Horehound stick candy.

Perplexed over lack of sunshiny Yellowstone memories, I called on Polina. Follows is our abridged IM conversation:

Me: I'm up to Yellowstone but I don't remember much except that I didn't get to tip a buffalo but bought a little plastic one. We saw old faithful and the result of the big fire and fed prairie dogs. Doesn't make for very interesting reading, but how can you gloss over Yellowstone?

Polina: You can borrow my bad memory excuse but we were in Yellowstone for like 3 hrs! We zipped right through. The fire and charred trees…

Me: Really? God, I thought we planned the whole thing around Yellowstone

Polina: You don't remember how listless we were by then? We drove in, then went to that visitor center with the geyser and it was all packed with people and then we just drove a bit more, stopped like twice, and then headed the hell out it was this sense of like - we're supposed to be doing something here, but what?!?

Me: Crazy. That's pretty much what I remember, but I thought - there's no way we went through yellowstone between lunch & dinner.

Polina: we weren't that into it.

My final Yellowstone memory is that we stopped for dinner as soon as we got out of the park in Montana and Sharon ordered a Buffalo Burger.

Jackalope

2005-06-17T10:48:00.000-04:00

I will continue with the Journey in the next couple of days, but here's what I want to know today:

Jackalope

What's the deal with Jackalopes? Why is it funny? Why do people buy stuffed jackalopes and jackalope postcards? I just don't get it...

Journey, part 3: South Dakota tastes like Horehound

2005-06-16T12:04:00.000-04:00

The cute guy at the AAA office in NJ had told us “You’re going to stop at Wall Drug, right? You have to stop at Wall Drug!” We didn’t know what Wall Drug was, but since the guy was cute he wouldn’t steer us wrong; and anyway the place had Drug in the name.

Two seconds into South Dakota we started seeing the billboards for Wall Drug. Sharon tried to catch them all on her video camera, but there were too many. In my mind the landscape of South Dakota is all Billboards. So we exited the highway, lured by the promise of “Free Ice Water” with an 80-foot high dinosaur pointing the way.

We pulled into the Wall Drug complex – a western-themed chunk of Americana in the middle of nowhere. Every type of kitchy roadside tourist trap junk was sold here: “rattlesnake eggs” (jelly beans in a burlap bag); scorpions, snakes and spikers frozen forever in lucite; “invisible dog on a leash;” bobbleheads and jackalopes. We took turns having our picture taken groping a life-sized painted wooden Old West Hooker, ate ice cream cones, and bought a sticker for each state we had passed through. I bought a large supply of stick candy in my favorite stick candy flavor – Horehound. We all bought postcards and took our free Wall Drug bumper sticker. We drank our Free Ice Water and got back in the car.

We stopped at Mount Rushmore and the Crazy Horse Memorial We took pictures of each other and couples who stumbled out of their RVs in their Bermuda shorts and “I’d rather be fishin’” caps. It was a hot, dry day and we pondered what exactly people from Missouri really wanted us to show them.

That evening at our campsite (chosen for the well-advertised All You Can Eat pancake breakfast we would have the next morning) we applied the state stickers along the top of the trunk of my car – a visual of our journey thus far. We wrote “Alaska or Bust” in permanent Magic Marker underneath that and on the rear panel of the trunk, above the rear bumper, we wrote in huge letters “WANDERLUST.” We christened her Lustmobile. Finally, we decided that our mascot (a naked rainbow fuzzy-haired troll named “Chip” for his stripper-like butt) really needed some air. Almost as much as we needed a hood ornament. We crazy-glued Chip to the hood of the car, thinking it was probably a good thing we got through the Land of a Thousand Lakes first.

Journey to Alaska, part 2: DE to SD

2005-06-15T15:06:00.000-04:00

We left from Newark, DE, driving to Cleveland, OH on our first day. I had a cousin in Cleveland, then in her early thirties, who was willing to let us crash at her place. Never mind that this is my most annoying cousin, we were Road Trippin’. We arrived in the evening and wandered around Cleveland a bit. Nice bookstores and cute little indie shops. Annoying Cousin put us all on the floor in her living room in our sleeping bags and went off to bed, farting all the way. The next morning, we all went out to a little coffee house for breakfast before leaving. Annoying Cousin wanted to make sure we had everything we needed (oh, we did – and then some!) and insisted that we take a can opener from her. We already had three can openers but she really seemed to want us to take something, so we took the stupid thing.

We left Cleveland and the next several days were snapshots of places most of us had never been. Our only real plan was to arrive at Yellowstone with most of a day ahead of us, so we’d just drive until we decided to stop and then look for campgrounds. We had picked up maps, camping and accommodations books and a triptik at AAA before we left so we had some resources, but still some of these campgrounds weren’t easy to find. We learned how to put up our tent in the dark and that s’mores truly are a necessity.

Indiana was uneventful. We managed to drive through the center of Chicago at night, admiring the lights and the city and wondering why the streets were thronged with people - it felt like Mardi Gras. (Later we discovered that the Bulls had just won a championship game.) We took the requisite trip on LSD (Lake Shore Drive) and moved on.

We spent a delightful afternoon in Madison, WI, sitting on the green writing postcards. Beautiful sunny day in Madison – our collective snapshot memory of Madison is postcards, cheddahead hats – in fact, cheese everywhere - and a city seemingly populated with big, healthy, corn-fed people. Riding bikes, walking, hiking – a living advertisement for Clean Living. A bit too clean for us, in fact, and we moved on. Minnesota was remarkable only in that the "Land of a Thousand Lakes" means the land of a gazillion bugs. We had to stop frequently to clean the windshield (it's extra gross when you actually hear the splat) and when we stopped to eat we realized that the license plate was completely black with dead bugs. On to South Dakota: the Land of Billboards.

Journey to Alaska, part 1

2005-06-14T15:14:00.000-04:00

We walked through the door and stepped out onto the factory floor. Our new brown rubber boots and green raingear were fresh from their packages, having been opened not an hour earlier. We had our hair tied up and baseball hats on, and we felt a mixture of fear, adrenaline and anticipation. Pink Floyd’s “Welcome to the Machine” started up, blasting through the loudspeakers as the Foreman gave us the tour around the factory floor. The irony of it didn’t escape us. The smell of blood was overpowering and as we stood watching, somebody opened up the doors to a huge freezer which sent a layer of mist out over the factory floor. The scene was surreal and we looked at each other, wondering just what hell we had gotten ourselves into.

We were four women in our early twenties, fresh from University, on an adventure designed to delay the start of “real life.” We had spent a psychedelic mushroom-induced day in a field outside of Boston with a good supply of water and magic markers for tattooing ourselves. It was Senior Week and nobody knew quite what to do next. We had seen the ads in the back of magazines for working on fishing boats in Alaska and decided this was just the diversion we were looking for.

Lancaster Cow
So we piled into a 1980 Chevy Malibu - four women, two hundred bags and a guitar – and headed west. We would camp along the way and figure out the rest as it came up. We sang “America” by Simon and Garfunkel, counting the cows on the Lancaster Turnpike, made truckers pull their air horns, read smutty magazines, ate in greasy spoons along the way and it took all four of us to close the overstuffed trunk of the car. Sharon had been given a video camera for graduation and we quickly got used to being recorded.

We were on our way.

Crow Birdie

2005-06-13T11:06:00.000-04:00

American crow

When my first daughter was about 18 months old, she encountered her first crow. It was sitting on the driveway of a friend's house. We got out of the car; she was fascinated by this huge black bird. It gave a mighty squawk and moved a few feet away. She walked toward it again, eventually scaring it away. But she was smitten.

At this age, she had a special laugh reserved only for animals. It was a laugh of pure delight, from the belly and full of joy and wonder. For the rest of the day she'd say "Crow Birdie! Squaawwwwkkk!" and laugh her special laugh.

On the way home, that day, she made crow noises in the car. When I asked her what the noise was, she said "Crow Birdie! He's in the car with us. Sitting right next to me."

I thought my daughter had found her totem. How interesting that a mommy with a Bluejay totem would have a daughter with a crow totem.

The funniest thing is that truly, although I admire many things about birds, I'm really not a bird person. I don't go bird watching, I hate seeing birds in cages, don't like to park under trees full of birds (for obvious reasons) and have no desire to get very close to them. As I was growing up, my favorite animals were all mammals, and if asked, I'd say my favorite animal was a lion. In high school, I discovered the e. e. cummings poem above and identified with it completely. After many years (and a bluejay tattoo) it became clear to me that the bluejay was my totem animal.

So now my 18-month old daughter had a crow totem. This went on for about 9 months, the crow birdie our constant companion. Crow birdie was in the car, crow birdie was tucked in to bed, crow birdie everywhere. She even had a special crow birdie dance.

Then we rented the movie "Walking with Dinosaurs" and she discovered pterodactyls. Bye bye crow birdie. No more imaginary friend; my daughter decided she *was* a pterodactyl. Interestingly, the pterodactyl screech and dance were very similar to crow birdie's.

When she was 4, she informed me that for Halloween, she was going to be a rhamphorynchus. I said, "A what?!" A rhamphorynchus, she informed me, was part of the pteranodon family but differed in that it had a longer tail for steering as it flew over the water, and curved teeth for scooping fish out. OK, one rhamphorynchus costume coming up.

She is now seven years old and no longer believes herself to be a pterodactyl but maintains her intense interest in dinosaurs and even corrected a guide at the Museum of Natural History on the differences between two similar dinosaurs. I still have a special place in my heart for crows, and I'm quite sure she does too.

The other day my 4 year old daughter, named for my love of lions, walked into my room with an empty bowl which she announced had antelope and ostrich meat "to feed my lion."

Long as lion doesn't eat any crows or bluejays, I told her, it's all good.

On a happier note

2005-06-10T14:32:00.000-04:00

Thankfully, it's friday. And this was the first thing that made me laugh out loud today. And even though I have PMS and feel fat, tired, grumpy and headachey, the weekend is coming up and...

I have hairs like that. Lots of them.

hee hee

Get the rape kit.

2005-06-09T10:24:00.000-04:00

I know this is a truly unpopular subject, but I feel it's oh, so necessary to discuss it.

Fact is, if you live in this world and you know women, you know at least one woman who has been raped.

Statistics are unreliable, because so many of these go unreported, especially Date Rape. Oh, how we've been trained to guilt ourselves into believing rape is our fault. Short skirt? She was asking for it. Too much makeup? Drinking alcohol? Flirting? As far as I'm concerned, no still means no. Not one, or even all, of the above behaviors, gives a man free rein to force a woman to have sex against her will. Nobody ever asks for that. And yet, put a woman on the witness stand dressed as she was that night at the bar and who will find a man guilty? No, we must dress her in a suit, little or no makeup, hair very plain... Oh, listen I could go on and on. This is a societal issue and there are times when I believe the media would have us all dressed in burqas so as to protect ourselves from men who can't control themselves.

At any rate, the focus of my post today is on the rape kit. There's a story in NJ news right now about a man who previously had been convicted of sexual assault, served his time and is now living as an "upstanding citizen," working in a hospital and saving lives. Except DNA evidence has linked him to two, and possibly as many as 10, rapes in the last 7 years. How is this possible? The rape kit.

The rape kit is highly controversial, as it's a cold, humiliating and emotionally devastating procedure. It's medical rape, all over again, while reliving experiences one would sooner forget. It's exposing yourself to more strangers, being probed, answering questions about the incident and lifestyle in general. It's a photo shoot. The other half of the controversy, of course, is that lack of funding is letting many of these kits sit untested, with vital DNA clues sitting around in bags.

Still, I say: I hope with all my heart and soul that neither you nor anybody you know ever has to go through this, but if you do, please...Get The Rape Kit.

DNA evidence lasts for a really really long time. Refusing the kit more often than not allows the rapist to walk away and usually, do it again.

All this is swirling through my head every single time I hear about this story on the news. I really feel it needed to be said.

2005-06-08T12:16:00.000-04:00

crazyjayblue

Blogging 101

2005-06-08T10:16:00.000-04:00

So. A few months ago I had no clue what a blog is. I don't know HTML, and this promises to be a massive learning experience for me. Through my experience with a certain message board dedicated mainly to fragrances, I have learned more about the cyber world than ever before. Truly, this was the first message board I have ever belonged to!

And I have met an amazing group of people, mostly women. I have learned about perfume, relationships, women, life...gained knowledge on a whole variety of topics and forged several relationships that I hope will stay with me for the rest of my life.

Many of these women have their own blogs and it was reading these various insights and stories that inspired me to create a blog of my own.

So, dear reader, please bear with me as I fumble my way through this entirely new (to me) world of blogs where I will share my thoughts on pretty much whatever happens to be on my mind as I sit down to type.