Thursday, April 13, 2006

AAAPUTRH* Workshop

Sunday, 8 a.m.-3 p.m.
Ladies’ Bathroom
Admission $65 payable at the door of the bathroom

An intensive workshop for the semi-professional toilet roll changer. The workshop deals with all aspects of changing the toilet roll, both technically and emotionally. Breakfast and Lunch will be served.

Topics covered:

1) How to determine if the toilet roll needs changing. (what to do if there is only one sheet remaining on the roll)
2) Technical tasks required for changing the roll. (all types of holders will be discussed and breakout sessions will give practical training, including holders that pop and snap). How do I really know if the paper is supposed to go under or over? Is there a way to get this right the first time? How to avoid embarrassment if the roll falls off the holder while someone is in the next stall.
3) Is this in my job description? (a common problem, and how to solve it)
4) Passive aggressive non-changing of the roll. (is therapy needed?)
5) Should I discard the old cardboard tube or keep it for a Halloween costume or school project? (only parents of small children will be invited to participate in this session)
6) Where should the extra rolls be kept? This session will explore the complete nature of the problem—i.e. should the extra rolls have their own cabinet. Should they be in full view or hidden?
7) Emotional issues surrounding the act of changing. (i.e. feelings such as “I don’t wanna do it” may really mean “I don’t feel capable of doing this”)
8) How to develop the skills required to progress to the professional level of changing. How to become a Master Changer.
9) Upon becoming a Master Changer, how to deal with jealousy from others who are less capable changers.
10)How to encourage others to be supportive of your changing skills.

A certificate of competency from the AAAPUTRH will be provided for each workshop participant who successfully completes the course. A refresher course is provided annually, free of charge.

*American Association for the Appropriate and Proper Use of Toilet Roll Holders


This was written by my mom and posted in the bathroom. I know I owe you a post but haven't managed to write one, so thought this might buy me a little time.

Today's fragrance: Bright, by Exult. Will review in my next post.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Music in Education

Well, I seem to be on a roll now with soap box issues. I find it absolutely astounding that civilizations are defined by their culture and yet the minute a school finds itself in financial trouble, arts education is the first thing to go.

What do we know of the Greeks, Romans, Egyptians - or even more modern cultures - that doesn't consist primarily of its art? Music, Art, Architecture, Poetry, Writings...these are the things that define a people. These are the things that last. I defy you to find an exhibit of Roman pottery that isn't plastered with images of lyres, dancing, flutes. Images of musicians, stringed instruments are found in ancient Egyptian tombs.

Music has been around as long as there has been any record of human activity. Pictures of bows being used as musical instruments date back 70,000 years. Seventy. Thousand. Years. Music is used to heal. Music is used to celebrate, to mourn, to mark our life's events.

Imagine a world without music.

What movie is complete without music? Music has power - not just to soothe the savage breast, but to effect changes in cultural philosophy. Just ask Bob Dylan. How many slaves made it to freedom singing "Follow the Drinking Gourd?"

In Fulton County, Georgia the School Board has voted to cut instrumental music and foreign language from elementary schools. 400 teachers will lose their jobs. This is happening all over our country. I know of this particular instance because I have a nephew and two nieces who go to school there. The residents of Fulton County have a small window of opportunity - the budget will not be finalized until June. My brother has written a petition, to be presented to the Fulton County School Board before the vote. Please take a moment and sign it. You do not have to be a resident of Fulton County to believe that this is a grave mistake. Here is the home page with some basic information as well.

Where exactly do they think the High School orchestra will get its musicians?

I thank you in advance for your signature and for helping to spread the word.